Columbia had its second annual garden party yesterday. Does anyone remember the first? Pseudo-snob Shreyas Manohar was sent to report on the scene.

The CU Garden Party was a refreshing change of pace from the usual Columbia social scene. Instead of the crowded, dark aesthetic of a dorm party, the Garden Party was spacious and peaceful with an emphasis on “spacious.”

Performances from Notes and Keys, Sharp and The Metrotones made the atmosphere perfect for conversation—the only problem being that there were no people at all. At one point, the number of organizers exceeded the number of guests.

Last week, I went to MoMA and saw a famous painting consisting of a plain white canvas with a few dots. The CU Garden Party was, in many ways, like that art piece. Our $3 tickets paid for access to a huge stretch of lawns, six small white tables, and Tortilla chips. Though the Tortilla chips made me feel a little better, I felt like a fan at a Columbia football game small dot on a huge white canvas.

I had heard the Garden Party was a very fancy event so, to be on the safe side, I went to the party with a tie and bow-tie, and judged everyone who didn’t have a tie and a bow-tie. When I had finished judging all five people in the vicinity, I sat down to talk to the Garden Party’s organizers, Aramael and Emerald.

Shreyas: I want the truth. Did you guys become organizers just so that you could wear these cool ear-pieces?

Aramael: No, I actually have enough experience with these so that I don’t need them.

Shreyas: I mean, you were literally 5 meters away from her! Why talk on an ear-piece?

Aramael: Because we don’t have to yell. You don’t want the hear a yell in such a location.

Shreyas: Oh.

(I understand. You don’t want to yell because voices will echo considering there is such a huge empty space and enclosed in a bubble of silence and nothingness.)

Shreyas: Why did you choose UNICEF to donate to?

Emerald: I work with UNICEF. I have been a part of Columbia’s UNICEF chapter and I have seen all the good work that they do as well the fact I am intimately aware of where the money goes as an international organization. It is very difficult for Columbia to donate to some unknown charity, so an international known organization was easy on an administrative level.

Shreyas: Where does the rest of the money go?

Emerald: It goes to numerous other causes. $1 goes to UNICEF. Some goes to the website from where you bought the ticket and the rest goes to the event costs.

Shreyas: People are getting suited up for this events and for MUN. How do you differentiate between someone who suited up for MUN and for the Garden Party?

Aramael: You can tell. See, you have a tie and bow-tie.

Shreyas: I am trying to be extra fancy to fit in.

Emerald: It worked.

*mental self-five*

Shreyas: It’s great that you are doing this for such a noble cause, but what would you say about the trauma you are causing to the people sitting in the window seats of Butler, looking at people enjoying themselves outside while they work on their essays?

Emerald: One of our ad posters says “Work can wait.” People think everything in their life revolves around finishing that problem set or finishing that essay. Those are important, but college is so much more than that. I have seen people here who I haven’t seen since freshman year, and I am a senior.

Shreyas: Impressive.

Emerald: Exactly! It was exciting for me to see those people again and it is only at events like these that can happen. There is nothing at Columbia that is targeted towards getting people to socialize without drinking.