Dec

18

Some Questions For Our Administrators Come Winter Break

Written by

Really, guys?

Really, guys?

A few questions for those at the helm of the University this holiday season. Preferably to mull over during family dinner.

Of President Bollinger, we ask:

  • How exactly will Columbia be a “good neighbor” in Manhattanville?
  • Will you call the cops on us every time we congregate in groups of three or more?
  • How will you create community among students who feel so divided and hurt by their status or identity?—racial, sexual, economic, social, or otherwise?
  • How many more students could join the Class of 2018 if we were to direct your $700,000 raise toward financial aid?
  • Will you attend any of the spring’s town halls, maybe field a few questions on sexual assault policy at Columbia? We’ve really missed you at the past few town halls!
  • Are we global enough for you?

Of President Spar, we ask:

  • What’s the point of expending millions on a new library when your students hardly have a place to live?
  • Is Barnard’s consideration of trans* students really such a “complicated issue”?
  • How likely is it that every Economics major at Barnard might receive an internship with Goldman Sachs? We hear you’ve got connections!
  • Could we maybe start a Barnard fund for bikini waxes and blow-outs?
  • JJ’s Place? PLEASE?

Questioning_authority_dot_jpeg via Shutterstock.

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6 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    pandering to activists...yawn

  2. Anonymous

    how about next year's terrible horrible no-good fall academic schedule?

    • GS  

      I was going to be all "back in my day" about how Fall 2011 exams ended on the 23rd, too. But that was a Friday, and next year its a Wednesday. So yeah, next fall is terrible.

      --old in more than one way

  3. Anonymous

    How about "what does that asterisk mean?"

  4. Anonymous

    The Manhattanville benefits are well published, and have been for about a decade. A student merely has to look them up. You seem uninformed. As far as prezbos raise, all he has to do is get one more donor of a million dollars, and he has paid for his raise. (Columbia is generally in the top three universities every year for donations raised because of our president.) You already forgot we just completed the second largest university fundraising campaign in the world last December.

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