Keep cheesin’

Location: 6th floor of Lerner Hall (115 St. and Broadway)

Nearby dorms: Carman, Furnald, Schapiro, John Jay, and the LLC

Stores and restaurants: Ferris, mainly

Cost: $69,084/year

Amenities:

• Bathrooms: We imagine that there is one, perhaps in an inner sanctum that is forbidden to us.
• AC/Heating: Yes.
• Kitchen/Lounge: They have the raw ingredients (dough) but little finesse. There is a hallway between the various offices that could probably be used as a communal space to kvetch about dumb aid-seekers.
• Laundry: No, but everything is white, so someone must come in and do all the cleaning.
• Computers/Printers: There are actually several, but none for you. Unfortunately, they belong solely to financial aid officers, who are absolute whizzes and great at pointing at information on screens and printing out documents.
• Intra-transportation: You can walk around, but your speed depends on yourself. The faster your pace, the more quickly you will get around the office. That’s a tip from us!
• Hardwood/carpet: Hypnotically-patterned tile, to lull you into a false sense of security.
• Wifi: Yes, but can you even bother under the weight of all your anxiety?
• Bonus: Potted plants

Room Variety

• There’s one waiting room and a bunch of smaller offices that you can get funneled into. Beyond that, we’re afraid there’s not a lot of space, so if that’s important, consider McBain or EC or the Butler stacks or anything, really.

Numbers

• If life handed you a high (aka bad) lottery number, you’ll probably end up here multiple times.

Bwog Recommendations

• Be very wealthy or alternatively, very low-income (tougher and not advisable).
• There are great views from one end of the office to the other, and the indoor plants add a splash of excitement to otherwise nondescript surroundings.
• The financial aid officers are very kind and helpful, so if you need a lot of support, you’ll find it here!
• Those of you who need showers and beds will probably have a tough time kicking it at FinOff, but you’re probably not welcome anyway.
• Getting off the elevator and suddenly being confronted by the white walls and ceiling and floor is like entering a science-fiction movie.

Resident Opinions

• “The office closes at 5 pm and I just arrived at 5:15 pm and it’s closed. What do I do?? Please help.”
• “The more I come here, the more screwed I feel.”
• “It’s actually really fun at the office! Every night is basically like a sleepover and we all talk about our IDOCs and FAFSAs and work-study. It’s totally #lit.”
• “Hi, I ran out of my work-study allotment. Where do I go now?”
• “Wow, I didn’t know this place existed.”

Lerner Crib courtesy of Bwog Staff

Andrew J courtesy of Meghana Gudur