Daily Archive: October 27, 2017

Oct

27

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img October 27, 20174:48 pmimg 1 Comments

Would you move this stuff, or just let it chill?

We all know the saying that the early bird gets the worm, but that cliche seems especially applicable when it comes to Butler and its many, but oft-occupied, study desks. In wake of this demand for quality, individualized study space, especially during midterms, many students turn to reserving Butler desks for the entire day with their notebooks, coffee cups, or, dare I say, even a single notecard.

My upcoming Frontiers of Science exam had inspired me to investigate this phenomenon with a more scientific approach. So from Wednesday through Friday of this week (peak midterm hours, nonetheless), I created and tested an experiment to truly find out: how many hours can you actually leave your stuff to reserve a desk in Butler?

First, I hypothesized that a notebook, an expanding file, and a few papers could reserve a Butler study desk for at least 48 hours without perturbance. This hypothesis was both falsifiable and parsimonious – meaning it was fine according to FroSci standards.

Beginning at 8:32 am on Wednesday morning, I scoped out a desk in Butler 202 and left my notebook, file, and papers, while I went to grab breakfast. I returned 8 hours later to find my stuff undisturbed, as expected.

Over the course of the next two days, I used my desk for a number of short study periods (12-3 pm Wednesday, 7-8 pm Wednesday, 9-12 pm Thursday, and 9-12 pm Friday morning) and consistently found my study materials present and unchanged.

By the conclusion of this experiment at noon on Friday, I had found that no one had moved my stuff from the desk for over 50 hours. Wow! – according to my results, a student can expect to be able to reserve a Butler study desk for at least 50 out of 168 hours each week!

Though my hypothesis was proven correct, there are perhaps some confounding variables that, as FroSci has taught me, must not be overlooked. Maybe the study materials I left, i.e. my LitHum syllabus, proved too threatening to potential desk-pirates and further aided the reservation of the desk for so long.

I’m not saying that you should reserve a desk in Butler for nearly three (or potentially infinite) days, but I’m just saying you can do this. What you do now with the newfound power of this knowledge is completely up to you.

Oct

27

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img October 27, 20171:42 pmimg 0 Comments

lettuce what?

If you are standing by the blackboard, you’re drunk.

Disclaimer: this is completely made up. It probably makes no sense.

  1. Front table: You enjoy watching darts. You like breathing space. Maybe you want to look out the window. You don’t want to swim through 200 people for a smoking break outside.
  2. Booths: You have about four friends. These four friends bring their friends and surprise now there are fifteen people in a booth meant for four people. Some people are sitting on the table. Some people are hiding under the table. There is beer everywhere. It is a disaster.
  3. Bar: You like to order drinks. You might be an Old Person. You’re here alone, or maybe with one more person. You might have been here since happy hour. What are you doing? It’s okay. That’s life. Order another beer, it’s okay.
  4. Inner corner of the bar by the pool table: You’re definitely older than 90% of the people in this bar.
  5. Pool table: You couldn’t find seats. You don’t like being constrained in a booth, because if you sit in a booth, eight people will pile on top of you. You might be in line for the bathroom. You might have already pissed your pants. Who cares? It’s 1020. No one’s judging you. If you pee on the pool table, everyone will just think it’s beer. It’s okay.
  6. Little bench by the pool table: You couldn’t find seats. This isn’t a permanent seat. Maybe you are feeling a little emotionally unstable and need a hug.
  7. Back couch table: You always wanted to sit in the back seat of the school bus with the cool kids but couldn’t and now you’re making up for it by sitting at the back table at 1020. Or you just like to be comfortable when you drink your $4 PBR.
  8. Standing around: You couldn’t find seats. You’re probably not staying too long. You’re dipping in and dipping out. Or you’re just on the prowl for seats. This doesn’t say much about you. I don’t know why I included this.

1020 blackboard via Bwog Archives

Oct

27

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img October 27, 20179:54 amimg 0 Comments

“You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”

Happening Around The World: In one of the weirdest news stories of this year, Australia’s High Court decreed that 5 members of Parliament were ineligible to run for their seats because they were all dual citizens of Australia and another country, and dual citizens cannot run for Parliament. Though some of the members didn’t even know about their dual citizenship, their disqualification from Parliament threatens the Prime Minister’s coalition majority. (The New York Times)

Happening In The US: Trump declared the opioid crisis a public health emergency on Thursday, though his directive does not release any additional funding to aid medical treatment, research, or advertising preventing the overprescription or misuse of opioids. Meanwhile, The New Yorker took an in-depth look at “the family who built an empire of pain” off of the creation of Oxycontin. (The New York Times/The New Yorker)

Happening In NYC: The NYPD is tracking a “nose-picking masturbator” that has been spotted on several subway rides, upsetting the passengers, presumably with his nose-picking. Dude, gross.

Happening At Columbia: Tired of treating yourself and want to be tricked instead? Then check out the basement of Furnald which is now home to a haunted house, with free admission for one night only!

Overheard: “This orgo exam… is gonna eat me in the butthole.”

YOU CUT THAT OUT via Flickr

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