Daily Archive: December 14, 2017

Dec

14

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Orgo Night will be held in 209!

Earlier today, Bwog received this message from the Columbia University Marching Band, with strict instructions not to release the information contained within until 11:30 pm. In the future, if you wish to address us, please address us with ‘Greetings, Your Undying Majesty’ instead of ‘Hi.’ 

Hi Bwog,

Tonight, Orgo Night will be held in Butler 209. One year ago, we were told that, after 63 straight semesters of holding Orgo Night in Butler 209, we were no longer allowed to continue this tradition in the library. This semester, we decided that we would no longer accept the University’s decrees meant to silence us and destroy one of the few traditions Columbia has left. So, join us tonight at 11:59 pm in Butler 209 (though you’ll want to get there early so you can find space!) for our 66th consecutive 69th semi-annual Orgo Night. We can’t force you to CUMB but you will if you do!

And if you prefer a tantalizing preview, here is our latest promo video.

Thanks,
The CUMB

Dec

14

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Disclaimer (added 12/16/17, 5 pm): this article is entirely comedic in nature, and does not intend to give definitive portrayals of any particular frats, or implicate any particular frats in amoral behavior. Also, Bwog does not condone underage drinking, especially of jungle juice; form your own rankings at your own risk.

Beta (Price: Pride)
Don’t bother reading this review – they never have enough jungle juice anyway. I truly appreciate Beta’s dedication to replicating the taste of cough syrup and their improvisational skills (I’ve been served a beer & Kool-Aid mix before). Tightly focused drink with a core of vodka and infused with the rich fruity flavor of Kool-Aid racing through.

Literal jungle juice.

Bartender charisma: ★★★★☆
Experience: ★★★★★
Jungle juice: ★★☆☆☆

Casa Latina (Price: Waiting 30 minutes for an EC swipe in)
My most memorable sexual experiences have happened under the influence of their jungle juice, though I keep awkwardly running into my hot TA there. A bubbly experience with a sophisticated, lingering citric taste. Lightly steeped with Sprite and a velvety finish.

Music: ★★★★★
Jungle juice: ★★★★★
How badly I want to fuck my TA: ★★★★★

Fiji (Price: A brownstone)
An elegant polygamous marriage of vodka, sprite, and Kool-Aid. The gentle, yet persistent assertion of fruit punch in this mix arouses a refined metallic aroma usually attending the canned experience of Kool-Aid.

Freshmen appeal: ★★★★★
Cleanliness: ★☆☆☆☆
Jungle juice: ★★★★★

More mysterious concoctions…

Dec

14

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Well, the title practically says it all. If you’ve ever been a student, you know how nervous you were when it was time to get these decisions. The ED applicants might be scared in particular, since this school was their first choice.

The logo that haunts our nightmares.

Applicants to the Class of 2022 will be able to view their decision after tonight at 7 pm ET. Barnard’s were released Tuesday with an increased number of applications; Columbia itself said that it “received 4085 Early Decision applications to Columbia College and The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science”, exactly one application fewer than last year. The Admissions Department is not releasing any information on acceptance rate or class composition at this time.

Good luck to all early applicants – hope to see you next year!

Common Application Logo via Columbia Undergraduate Admissions

Dec

14

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Orgo Night in Butler 209 from Fall 2015.

Ah, the great dichotomy of the night before finals. In between your suffering and complaining pre- and post-midnight, youhave two options: The wholesome and reliable Midnight Breakfast, or the controversial and possibly banned Orgo Night. Whichever kind of fun you prefer, they both take place tonight at 12 am. (Barnard first-years can go to Midnight Breakfast at 11:00, the rest of BC at 11:30, and all of CU at 12.)

Meet the new Barnard president or boo the old Columbia one. Subsist on Butler Café for hours or fill up on waffles in Diana. Whichever you choose, enjoy your study break before it gets too weird.

 

Dec

14

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Bwogline: Official plans have been announced for the L train closure, and just like with our finals, it will indeed involve taking an L. The plan is likely insufficient in battling the delays it will cause and will give New Yorkers another reason to be salty. (NY Times)

This isn’t a stop on the L, but it’s better than Williamsburg, right?

Study Tip: Order Insomnia. Be impressed that they knew where to find you in the International Affairs Building. Open Insomnia. Be dismayed by the incorrect order. Call Insomnia. Get put on hold for 10 minutes and then not even be able to speak to them because the Lehman Library is in the basement and AT&T sucks. Get a likely ban from Insomnia for calling so much. Eat your extra pint of ice cream anyway.

Music: 

Procrastination Tip: The best type of procrastination is when you can pretend you’re actually doing work. Fall into a Wikipedia hole. Your new wealth of knowledge will make up for your less than satisfactory final exam grade.

Overheard: “Broccoli are nature’s trees.”

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