A big ball.

Every wondered to yourself what Columbia Men’s Basketball Coach Jim Engles thinks to himself at night? Returning sports staff writer Gloriana Lopez takes us for a quick jaunt through the coach’s mind.

4:01pm: The women’s team just won their game! Hopefully we’ll have two wins today thanks to that great pep talk I just gave the guys.

6:10pm: This game is off to a good start. A little close but we’re winning so far. We’ll be ok as long as we don’t mess up.

7:15pm: Nevermind.

7:36pm: WE WERE WINNING BY 10 POINTS!!!! Cornell isn’t even that good!!!!

7:37pm: I miss Luke Petrasek. He would have known what to do.

8:05pm: HOW DO YOU LOSE AGAINST CORNELL BY ONE POINT!?!?! Not even the football team was this bad this season!!!!!!

10:35pm: Tried to console Mike Smith on the ride back to NYC. Couldn’t hold back the tears. Mike ended up holding me. I hate my job.

11:11pm: Just checked the Ivy League coaches’ group chat. They’re all making fun of me. Am I the new Pete Mangurian?

2:09am: Got dropped off at 116th and Amsterdam. Went back to my office, got my special stash of absinthe and cried.

3:33am: Walked into 1028…1017…1020? Whatever that bar all the kids like is called. Took three double tequila shots with Al Bagnoli. Asked him to take my place as coach. He turned me down. Cried on his shoulder.

4:21am: Woke up underneath my desk with five missed calls from Conor Voss.

5:43am: I wonder if NJIT would take me back…

6:02 am: Called them and left a message!

9:05 am: They called back. Hopefully some good news…

9:07: No words, just hysterical laughter. Oh well, there’s always next weekend!

Ball via Max Pixel.

Tickets still available, probably. (Spoiler alert: no one in Russia wants to go)

Last night, the Harriman Institute at Columbia and the NYU Jordan Center for the Advanced Study of Russia held “Russia Hosts the World Cup: Sports and Politics in 2018,” detailing the relationships between global sporting events and, you guessed it, the politics of hosting them. Bwogger Isabel Sepúlveda, who knows a bit about politics and nothing about sports, attended in order to discover more about this connection and maybe, what the heck is happening with FIFA.

From North Korea and South Korea fielding a joint women’s hockey team at the upcoming Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang to Russia’s ban after the revelation of their large-scale doping program, there’s been a surprising amount sports in my political news. This seemed like the perfect place to get an explanation. I was expecting it to be either a lot of sports and not a lot of politics or a lot of politics and no sports, but the interdisciplinary panel assembled ensured that while some sections had more of one than the other, as each panelist gave an individual presentation for approximately 20 minutes, there was a nice balance between the two.

Dr. Natalie Koch was the first panelist to present. An Associate Professor in the department of Geography at Syracuse University’s Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs, she is “a political geographer focused on geopolitics, nationalism, and authoritarianism in the post-Soviet space and the Arabian Peninsula.” She tooks a more general approach to the topic at hand, talking about the geopolitics of sport in an illiberal world. The question that grounded her presentation was “why?” Why do authoritarian countries like Russia and Qatar, who will host the next World Cup in 2022, want to host these sorts of events?

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Martha serving LOOKS in this poster. 76-year-old queen of smize

So, Martha Stewart (BC ’62)—yes, that Martha Stewart—came to Barnard yesterday. She talked about her life, her work, living her brand, and what it means to be a woman in business. Bwoggers Mary Welsh and Levi Cohen slid into their reserved press seating (fourth row baby!) to hear her out. And maybe also to hear about her friendship with Snoop Dogg.

Yesterday in the Diana Event Oval, the Speaking Fellows of Barnard College hosted a moderated Q&A with Martha Stewart— who, in case you don’t know, holds the distinction of being the first self-made female billionaire in America. She’s also a Barnard alum (’62) who, Barnard President Sian Beilock claims, perfectly embodies that bold, beautiful spirit of the famous dancing bear. You could say she has an impressive resume: entrepreneur, business-woman, former stockbroker, lifestyle personality, prison inmate (only for a bit!). In essence, “Martha Stewart” has become a household name whose brand is synonymous with a universal standard of excellence and beauty.

Find out why Martha supports legalizing pot after the jump

It would take about 15 cups of coffee to make me that peppy

Sports Editor Abby Rubel brings you the athletics events to keep your eye on this weekend.

Archery: Archery’s first tournament of the season is this Saturday in New Jersey at the Eastern Seaboard Championship. Last year, the team took first place nationally in both recurve and compound bow competitions. And only two players graduated, so this year’s team is bound to be just as competitive.

Men’s Tennis: Last weekend, the men’s tennis team defeated two teams in the Intercollegiate Tennis Association Kick-Off Weekend to ensure that they’d advance to the ITA National Indoor Championships. But those are still two weeks away, so in the meantime the Lions will take on Vanderbilt at home this weekend at 1:00 pm. Coming off a three-win streak and currently sitting at number 17 nationally, the Light Blue could easily be a powerful force this season.

Women’s Squash: Women’s squash will face off against Yale on Friday in New Haven at 1:00 pm to try to take Yale’s number five slot—the Lions and the Bulldogs are both at 7-3. Although the program has never beaten Yale, they have some momentum coming off a 8-1 win against George Washington last weekend. The Bulldogs finished last weekend with a 6-3 loss against Stanford, a team Columbia lost to 8-1 earlier in the season. Columbia will finish off its weekend with a match at Brown Saturday at 11:00 am.

High School Musical reenactment via gocolumbialions.com

We know, we know. Rarely do any of us trek all the way down to University Place and its environs when our admittedly limited options will do just fine. However, on the occasion that you find yourself downtown and a little homesick, we present to you: NYU bars and their CU counterparts.

This is the line outside 1020, but it stands in for pretty much every place on this list… sorry, Junzi.

Lucy’s Tavern is 1020. While Lucy’s isn’t as close to its “campus” as 1020 is to ours, it is the favorite bar of NYU Local, and everyone knows how much Bwog loves 1020. Both possess pool tables, a curated music selection, and plenty of student bartenders.

The 13th Step is Mel’s. Sticky floors, loud TVs, “retro” music, high underclassmen populations, proximity to drunchies…they’ve really got it all.

Durden’s is Cannon’s. Was Cannon’s? Unfortunately, the popular MoHi spot closed in June 2016. Can’t say much more on the subject other than it was known as every sloppy freshman’s stomping ground, which sounds about right.

Pieces is Suite. According to one Bwogger, these are “two of the best gay bars in NYC.” Beautiful and talented drag queens call both establishments home and make use of their disco balls and glittery stages. Honestly, it’s impressive that we even have a gay bar here.

The Heights, Amity Hall, and more…

Fingers crossed this fucker doesn’t see his shadow.

Happening in the World: Egyptian president Abdel Fattah el-Sisi is running for reelection essentially unopposed – his only opponent is one of his own supporters. Potential political rivals have been sidelined, jailed, or threatened with prosecution. President Trump has described el-Sisi as a “fantastic guy”. (New York Times)

Happening in the US: Speaking of the Trumpster: President Trump is anticipated to approve the release of the controversial congressional memo everyone’s been talking about. The memo claims that special counselor Robert Mueller’s initial probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election was influenced by a dossier underwritten by the Hillary Clinton campaign, thus biasing his investigation. Despite concerns from law enforcement and intelligence officials about confidential information included in the memo, House Republicans are likely to make its contents public on Friday. (Washington Post)

Happening in NYC: Mayor / known marmot murderer Bill de Blasio is skipping the Staten Island Zoo’s Groundhog Day event for the second year in a row. In 2014, de Blasio dropped the groundhog – real name Charlotte – and she was found dead days later. Mayor Bloomberg, meanwhile, was repeatedly bitten by the groundhog. So maybe this change is for the best. (New York Daily News)

Happening on Campus: Battle of the Bands is happening tonight at 8 pm in Lerner Party Space. Seven student groups are competing to be the opener for this year’s Bacchanal.

Overheard: “Elon Musk and my father are good friends.”

Tinder Pickup Line of the Day: “Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together.”

Fun marmot pic via Max Pixel.