Preaching to the choir.

Sweet, sweet Orgo Night was a lot breezier than last semester due to the Band’s last-minute change of location: at 11:30 last night, as 209 grew rowdier and rowdier, it was announced that due to threats from the administration Orgo Night would be happening outside. But the show must go on, so Bwoggers Zoe Sottile and Zack Abrams snagged some quality standing room spots on a smoking bench outside Butler.

If you were in Butler at any point last night before midnight, you probably noticed a lot more Public Safety presence than usual. We love feeling policed on our campus! Unfortunately, due to all that hullaballoo, Orgo Night was forced to move outside, and by midnight a large crowd had gathered outside the door of Butler. The weather was lovely, if a little bit sweaty due to the crowd, and public safety kept a path to the doors clear to let poor finals-crammers leave the library safely.

After a dramatic parting-the-crowd entrance, CUMB started the night by taking aim at Columbia’s favorite social groups: fraternities! Specifically, however, they started with the recent racist fraternity scandals at Syracuse and Cal Poly–a little bit confusing since this night is supposed to be All About Columbia. The timely material about Columbia and the recent Spec op-ed about racism in a fraternity at Columbia was the best received–“Columbia frats can be racist too” was met with much laughter and applause. Calling Greek life “more problematic than a Pennsylvania Starbucks” was equally timely and funny.

More jokes and the script after the jump!

What a professional photo.

In the last of today’s Senior Wisdoms, meet John Hao: a Buzzfeed celebrity.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: John Hao, Columbia College, Environmental Biology, Lincoln, Nebraska

Claim to fame: For one thing, I’m one of the few Nebraskans here. But for real, when I was president of the Columbia Vegan Society, I convinced Dining to install the vegan food station at John Jay. I’ve been called Columbia’s best botanist, origami artist, and Halloween costumer. I also created a catalogue of every single plant on Columbia/Barnard campus.

Where are you going? I’m interning at the New York Botanical Garden and plan to explore other research opportunities before I pursue a PhD.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Fit in time between classwork to pursue your own interests. Sometimes, homework takes a backseat to a hobby and that’s okay. These times let you find your passions, work out your stress, and be productive in something that fulfills you.

2. Don’t miss out on classes that can offer you amazing experiences and you might find a strong interest in something you never considered before. I almost dropped a class that required weekly Friday morning field trips because it sounded like too much work. Had I done that, I would’ve missed out on incredible hikes in different forests in the Northeast, which ended up shaping my future plans.

3. When you come from a small town to Columbia, you learn quickly how important finding a community is. It can be intimidating to connect with new people when they all seem to know each other already. When you get past that fear, you’ll find how welcoming people are and how much easier it becomes when you get out of your comfort zone to try new things, new clubs, or new ventures.

More on John after the jump

Also suing for the emotional distress of looking at this ugly house

In an effort to raise funding to hire copy editors, Bwog is cashing in on everyone who has ever crossed us. Based on empirical information we have gathered in totally legit practices, Bwog has decided to file suit against Beta because damn, how many people have to fall down your stairs before you fix them?

I’ve never asked for much from Beta. Sure, we had our differences when the pledges made me wait outside in 30 degrees when I was dressed in a crop top and shorts. Then there was that time I called you guys racist for not letting me in and the stoop boys, still refusing to let me in, asked me to stop. I didn’t even complain when you would kick me out from behind the bar despite being the better (and hotter) bartender. We have a complicated relationship and that’s fine. I would even go as far to call myself, despite everything, a friend of the frat.

Avid readers of Bwog will know that we generally have nothing against the frat, but this past weekend became a turning point for us. It came as disturbing news to us when two Bwoggers revealed they had fallen down the stairs at Beta. This, coupled with the recent Columbia Crushes post (pictured below) stating “you fell down the stairs at beta, but I fell you for you,” has prompted Bwog to investigate the 45 comments under the post.

Join Bwog against the tyranny that is the Beta stairs after the jump.

Rollerblading to work is a move.

Arizona native Kate Welty somehow managed to get more hate than Wiz Khalifa did in his and Kanye’s respective Twitter beef (TBT). She’s coming for throats and McKinsey internships. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Kate Welty, SEAS, Environmental Engineering, Phoenix, Arizona

Claim to fame: A disgruntled CCSC candidate filed a 17-page complaint against me to the University Senate comparing me to Erdogan. I called a Spec reporter a dick mid-interview.

Where are you going? I’m lying and telling everyone I’m “staying in the city” but I’m actually doing Environmental Auditing in Newark, NJ. Eventually I’ll be back in Phoenix because the American Southwest is life / I’m done with all these coastal elites.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Columbia has a messed up way of how we view success. You don’t have to want to start your own company or be elected class council president to have ambition, nor do you need notoriety to be making positive and necessary impact. News flash: not everyone can be the top of their field. There’s a lot of good being done and love being spread by people in the middle.

2. Be a tour guide, an orientation leader, or have some other job that gets you excited to be a Columbian. Give yourself a reminder that there’s a lot of awesome people on this campus and that we’re lucky be here. That being said, stay critical. We have a lot of power to make changes for the better.

We have a wise one here

Truly, a cathedral of cuisine.

Senior Staffer Ross Chapman is putting his ArtHum skills to use in the long-awaited review of Koronet’s renovation. Final verdict: no pizza place does it better.

As we prepare for our upcoming exams, many of us (seniors included) are boning up for our final in Art Hum. This staple of the Core usually asks us to identify and discuss the formal attributes of historic art and architecture. But what if, when you walked into Schermerhorn, your teacher asked you to apply your skills to the modern world? Koronet Pizza shut its doors this semester for remodeling, and it reopened with a completely different interior layout. If you happen to find yourself in this fantastical, nightmarish Art Hum exam, here are our tips for discussing the finer points of a pizza place.

The building’s exterior is most reminiscent to a cathedral, with its numerous portals and towers. In lieu of allegorical statues and carvings, Koronet elects to use poetic excerpts (e.g. “Open 7 Days” and “Free Delivery”) to draw the viewer in towards its doors. The numbers on the building’s awning is also clearly an allusion to biblical verses. Koronet Pizza’s logo, a shattered circle missing nearly a sixth of its mass, alludes to the abnormally large slices of pizza within. The asymmetry of the thee windows’ heights is an obvious reference to to the towers of the Amiens Cathedral.

Read more misappropriated comparisons after the jump.

We wish we were smiling like Omar right now.

Omar Khan starts off our Friday Senior Wisdoms, reminding us all to stop and smell the flowers (or eat Cheez-its and observe).

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Omar Khan; Middle Eastern, South Asian and African Studies; New York City

Claim to fame: I talked a lot about South Asian politics and mental health to anyone who would listen and some administrators who wouldn’t.

Where are you going? To live out of New York City for the first time in 22 years!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Clean up after yourself. First of all, you’re an adult. Second of all, Columbia’s staff does so much for us already–don’t make their lives even harder.

2. Take classes in disciplines you’ve never explored before– it’ll at the very least give you a world class education in something you didn’t know anything about, and at the most may radically change your major like it did mine.

3. Talk about mental health! I have talked about mental health almost every chance I’ve gotten, but I think real, impactful conversation about mental health (and not just uncomfortable depression memes) can have a really powerful interpersonal impact and help change campus culture for the better. Older classmates opening up about their experiences with mental health issues helped me feel comfortable being vulnerable and realize that I wasn’t the only one struggling– and that struggling isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Find out how Omar feels about justifying his existence after the jump.

This is what we like

Bwogline: The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences announced that it has recently expelled Roman Polanski and Bill Cosby from the Academy. Following Harvey Weinstein’s expulsion in October, the Academy came under fire for not previously condemning Roman Polanski. Cosby’s expulsion comes following last week’s guilty verdict on three accounts of aggravated indecent assault. (CNN)

Study Tip: Treat yourself. For every page you write of your essay or every hour you grind, reward yourself with something small like ice cream, culminating into some large reward at the end.

Procrastination Tip: Sunbathe all day. PrezBo screwed y’all over with setting his weather machine to sunny during reading week, but if you’re going to fail anyway, let it be warm.

Music:

Be happy it’s almost over.

Overheard: “I’m never donating to Columbia. Every year I’ll send them the receipts from my donations to Penn.”

sunny days are here to stay via Public Domain Pictures