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Nov

8

How To Sneak Food Into Butler Without Not Really Trying

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Make like this hamster and feed yourself.

We’ve all been there. You need to be productive. Really productive. Not “scrolling through Twitter while glancing at readings” productive, but “block Twitter for 12 hours” productive. That means going to Butler. But how are you supposed to bring a snack? ButCaf is expensive and doesn’t have a wide selection, but you’re “not supposed to bring in outside food.” (Yeah, because a chocolate croissant from Joe’s is going to be less messy than a chocolate croissant from ButCaf.) Luckily, Bwog has some helpful tips.

  • Wear Ring Pops on every finger.
  • Bring a horde of friends dressed as various food items. They won’t be able to tell the real food apart from your squad.
  • Cut a hole in your textbook and bring it in. When you appear to be hunched over it in defeat, you’re really enjoying your sweet stash of Sour Patch.
  • Usurp Prezbo. Institute martial law. Free-for-all.
  • Eat it and sneak it in in your stomach.
  • Stuff the food in your cheeks like a chipmunk and just take it out once you’re inside.
  • Do the classic 2 kids stacked in a trenchcoat trick except one of the kids is you and one of them is your food.
  • Run into the library so fast that you’re invisible to the naked eye.
  • Just bring it in openly but stare at them with such sad dead eyes that they pity you and allow you to pass.
  • Stick gummy bears to outside of the Butler windows and hope that they absorb through the glass.
  • Bribe the security guard with your extra food.
  • Become a pastafarian and bring in pasta. When they try to take it away, claim they’re violating your religious freedom.

Try any of these? Let us know at tips@bwog.com!

Photo via Bwog Archives

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