Jan

20

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apple-for-the-teacher

And an apple for you too, dear, for all the trials you must have suffered to come to this point.

Even though the harsh snows are yet to pass, can you feel it in your bones? A warm breeze; your limbs, unfurling from a cold hibernation; the reds and pinks of blooming acer palmatum, magnolia x soulangeana, and those berries you see in the bushes and then wonder if they’re edible or not. Every beginning of the semester, we bring you some of the best remarks from professors in the first week of school; after all, nothing quite has the essence of spring semester “new year, new me” as their words do.

Christian Rojas, Organic Chemistry I: “Sometimes in this class I will test you by making some stupid error on the board.”

John Morrison, History of Philosophy II Aquinas to Kant: “What is the sweetie you love, except for a collection of particles and calcium and water?”

Rashid Khalidi, Democracy in the Middle East: “Lebanese politics is actually one of the most amusing topics.”

Marcel Agueros, Earth, Moon, and Planets: “As you can imagine, when you search for ‘moon walk’ videos on Youtube a lot of conspiracy videos will show up.”

Rachel Eisendrath, Shakespeare I: “We were assigned this room. I hate this room. It feels like the crisis has happened.”

Elia Ruben, Poetry as Neurosis: Lucan’s Bellum Civile: “Are you one of the three girls I met at a [classics department] party?”

Alfred MacAdam: After realizing neither he nor his students know how to raise the projector screen – “Well, what good are any of you all, anyway?”

Brendan O’Flaherty, Principles of Economics: “A ham sandwich would have beaten Trump in the election.”

An Apple for the Teacher, but None for Me in This Capitalist World via PublicDomainPictures.net

Jan

20

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Earlier today we received a tip regarding the defacement of a Wien 6 bulletin board with anti-Donald Trump credos and threatening statements regarding President Trump and his “supporters.” These messages seem to have appeared overnight, likely anticipating the President’s inauguration today in Washington D.C. The appearance of these intimidating statements is the latest in a series of tense campus outbursts regarding the candidacy and presidency of Donald Trump.

Although Bwog reached out to both the Wien 6 Resident Advisor as well as the Wien Resident Hall Director, neither were available to comment upon this incident. We will further update the story as soon as we receive a statement regarding the vandalism and intimidation of students.

Pictures of the graffitied statements are expanded below to depict the statements as clearly as possible, with the writing of the Wien vandal further captioned below each picture.

Click here to see the pictures

Jan

20

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All hail the 45th President of the United States!

All hail the 45th President of the United States!

Disturbed? Exhausted? Not sure what to make of certain events today? Come see Columbia University Marching Band perform their own satirical take of today’s function. CUMB will inaugurate their own new president (Vladimir Putin, with his “First Lady not-so-elect,” Donald Trump) tonight on the stage of all new beginnings: Low Steps. The event will begin at 9 pm and end at around midnight.

Vladdy via PRI

Jan

20

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Will the line be out the door?

Will the line be out the door?

Have you ever wanted to brag to your friends about how culturally enlightened you are? Have you ever wanted to do something so high class on weekends, you belong in a nineteenth century period drama? Have you ever wanted to spend your money on something more sophisticated than lamb gyros? Of course you have – you go to Columbia.

Luckily for you, the Columbia Arts Initiative offers a way for you to do all three of these things, rolled into one classy, cultural experience. The Ticket and Information Center (TIC) on the second floor (or campus level) of Lerner discounted tickets to Broadway shows, New York Philharmonic concerts, and numerous other theater, music, and dance performances in NYC. And the first day that office is open this semester is today, starting at 1 pm.

But before you start lining up in the Lerner lobby, consider this: all of the tickets offered at the TIC are also offered online on the Arts Initiative website. You can feel classy from the comfort of your dorm room!

And if the TIC’s prices are still a little high for you, don’t worry – we’ve found some great deals on rush and student tickets for some of the same performances.

Lerner on a day probably far sunnier than today via Columbia’s website

Jan

20

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Bye, hello.

Bye, hello.

While you may not be completing your resolutions, Bwog sure is with our new and refurbished Bwoglines. We’ll bring news from the world and from your area to you, our faithful reader, or should I say “Mr./Mrs. 212, Manhattan Borough, to Mr./Mrs. Worldwide.”

Happening in the world: Joaquín Guzmán Loera, also known as El Chapo, is being extradited to the United States, where he will face charges for heading the Sinaloa cartel. This comes after two prison escapes (bless his heart); maybe this will be the end. Or will it? (New York Times)

Happening in NYC: With Trump and his promises to cut funding to the arts and humanities looming over Inauguration Day, museums in NYC are trying to prove their continued relevance and importance by providing free admission today. These museums are Brooklyn Museum, the Whitney Museum, the Museum of Arts and Design, the Rubin Museum, and the Queens Museum. (TimeOut)

Happening on campus: Today, embrace a new you by attending Barnard’s College Job and Internship Fair from 11 am to to 3 pm at the Diana Center. (Barnard College Career Development)

Overheard: “Did you have to do under-the-envelope calculations too?”

Relevant out-of-context SpongeBob image macro (Twitter):

c2kxkezxaaaxvaa

A House via PublicDomainPictures.net

Jan

19

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Trump's signature on the letter - courtesy of Spectator

Trump’s signature on the letter – courtesy of Spectrum

As the future of Donald Trump’s presidency approaches, we looked back at the past to see Trump’s previous interactions with Columbia, and found a six year old fight between the President-Elect and our own President. 

Most Columbia students only really started seeing Donald Trump as a threat with the wake of his presidential aspirations. For once, our own fearless president has been way ahead of the curve: Lee Bollinger was victim of Donald Trump’s vicious verbal attacks (usually reserved for Saturday Night Live and Meryl Streep) back in 2010 when he dropped out of a potential deal with the business tycoon.

According to Mr. Trump, Columbia almost purchased some land from him near the Lincoln Center before Bollinger’s appointment to the presidency in 2002. The deal was made with Alfred Lerner (of Lerner Hall fame), but Lerner fell ill before anything could be finalized.

Bollinger had a different vision for Columbia expansion. He wanted to stay closer to the main campus in Morningside Heights, and felt that Trump’s 9-acre Upper West Side land was too small for the university’s motives. He cut the deal with Trump, starting a long and dramatic feud.

How did the feud end?

Jan

19

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Six members of the Columbia basketball team cheering from the sidelines

If Connor Voss isn’t your spirit animal we don’t know who is

As Columbia Men’s Basketball prepares for their next season, loyal supporters are getting ready to spend the next few months rooting for the Lions. Sports editor Ross Chapman previews what fans can expect in the upcoming season.

Last basketball season was one for the record books – or, one for the trophy cases. Thanks to an inspired performance by their four seniors, the Columbia Lions captured the CollegeInsider.com Tournament championship. While it wasn’t the NCAA, Columbia finally had a trophy to put in the case on the 4th floor of the Dodge Fitness Center. To follow up on such a strong season with a dominant senior class would be as hard a task as getting past UC Irvine’s 7’6″ center in the CIT finals.

But sometimes, the only way to follow up on your high expectations is to jump.

Who is that? How did he do that? Read more after the jump

Jan

19

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If you're feeling like this in a class, maybe it's time to drop it.

If you’re feeling like this in a class, maybe it’s time to drop it.

Are you looking at the 30 credits you registered for and realizing it’s impossible? Have you decided that you can’t take five classes back to back every day? Whatever your reasons may be for considering dropping a class, Bwog is here to help you with 10 ways to justify the drops to yourself, your parents, or your advisor. 

  1. It was an 8:40 class that took attendance.
  2. The class is in a building with only two women’s bathrooms, and neither of them are on the same floor as your class.
  3. It’s on the “other” side of Broadway.
  4. The syllabus was more than 5 pages long.
  5. The professor made multiple bad jokes in their introductory speech.
  6. Your ex is in the class.
  7. Your ex has another class in the same building at the same time.
  8. The class meets during your afternoon nap time.
  9. The professor says food is not allowed.
  10. There’s a midterm on your (or your pet’s) birthday.

Classroom Boredom via MaxPixel

Jan

19

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Dean Valentini informed the Columbia community this morning via email of the passing of Yi-Chia “Mia” Chen last night from an apparent suicide. Chen was an exchange student at Columbia College from Waseda University in Japan. Dean Valentini’s email told students “to reach out to your advisers, your Residential Life staff, Counseling and Psychological Services, the Office of the University Chaplain, your faculty members, and family and friends for support.”

Resources are available to offer support for members of the community. Columbia Counseling and Psychological services are available from 8 am to 7 pm Monday-Thursday, and from 8 am to 5 pm on Friday at (212) 854-2878, in addition to extended walk-in hours 5-10 pm tonight and tomorrow in the CPS office in Broadway Hall and all day today and tomorrow until 10pm on the fifth floor of Lerner Hall. Between 10 pm and 3 am, students can call Nightline for support at (212) 854-7777.

Click here to read Dean Valentini’s email to students

Jan

19

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A very sunny music library with two people chatting at the desk

Music is so fun!

In order to help you fulfill your New Year’s resolution of spending less time in Butler, Bwog is reviewing the study spaces around campus so you know where to go and where to avoid. First up, we look at the library at the top of Dodge, the Gabe M. Wiener Music and Arts Library.

Location: 701 Dodge Hall. Accessible Library.

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 9am-9pm; Friday, 9am-5pm; Saturday, 12pm-8pm; Sunday, 1pm-9pm

Contact: (212) 854-4711; [email protected]; http://library.columbia.edu/music; http://www.facebook.com/columbiamusiclibrary

Seats:

  • Total: 63 Seats
  • Tables: 24 Seats
  • Study Carrels: 19 Seats
  • Audiovisual Booths: 9 Seats
  • Computer Booths: 7 Seats
  • Overstuffed Corner Chairs: 4 Seats
  • Seats for Talking: 0 Seats, not a space for collaboration

(more…)

Jan

19

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Hopefully your classes this semester have you feeling peppier than this orange

Hopefully your classes this semester have you feeling peppier than this orange.

New Year, new Bwoglines! This semester, we’re redefining Bwoglines to make them better than ever. Each morning, you’ll find international and local news as well as what’s happening around campus so you can stay informed with as few clicks as possible.

Happening in the world: NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg defended NATO’s continued relevance after President-Elect Donald Trump called the organization “obselete.” Trump’s dismissal of NATO stems from his statements that the alliance is too focused on traditional attacks as opposed to cyberattacks and terrorism, claims which Stoltenberg refuted. (New York Times)

Happening in NYC: A new poll from Quinnipiac University showed that, given a list of possible contenders for New York City Major, Hillary Clinton is the only one who has higher polling numbers than incumbent Bill de Blasio. These numbers come despite the fact that Clinton has shown no intention to run.

Happening on Campus: If you’re fretting about the election and want to hear an international take, check out “The View from Japan — The Impact on Japanese Politics”  from 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm at the International Affairs Building, Room 918. No registration is required!

Overheard: “I always decide what to do based on how erotic it was when a fictional lesbian did it.”

Fun Fact: One ounce of strawberries has more Vitamin C than one ounce of an orange does.

Sad Orange via FreeStockPhotos

Jan

19

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Will they give him one of the top floor classrooms though?

Will they give him one of the top floor classrooms though?

This morning, we received a press release that Jacob “Jack” Lew, the outgoing Secretary of the Treasury, will become a visiting professor at the School of International and Public Affairs (SIPA) next month. While at SIPA, Lew will “lecture, teach graduate students, and work with faculty members at the school and across the University on the subjects of international economics, fiscal and trade policy, and a range of other public policy issues.”

Lew graduated from Harvard College and Georgetown University Law Center, before becoming a legislative aide in Washington. From there, he worked on multiple financial committees, served as the President’s Chief of Staff, then became the Secretary of the Treasury in 2013. As treasury secretary, he “helped lead the U.S. economy to its current foundation of economic growth and declining unemployment.” He also has been a managing director and chief operating officer at Citigroup, and executive vice president and chief operating officer of NYU.

The faculty at SIPA is excited to have Lew join them. Dean Merit Janow said, “At a time when we are all concerned with issues of global economic growth, trade and finance, our federal budget, tax system and the challenge of creating economic opportunity, Jack Lew brings insights borne of years of experience from the academy and the most senior decision making roles in the US and global economy.”

President Bollinger is also enthusiastic about the Treasury Secretary’s new position; he called Lew “an invaluable addition to our faculty, and an asset for our students who will benefit greatly from all that he has to teach them.”

Lew starts at Columbia on February 1.

Read the full press release after the jump

Jan

18

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CU admin is unfair. Prezbo is in there.

CU admin is unfair. Prezbo is in there.

Although the stress from finals seems far from our minds, Orgo Night drama has been relevant as ever. Over winter break, we received a tip that included the text of a resignation email the Head of the New Jersey Alumni Representative Committee (ARC), Kevin Chapman, sent to the rest of the organization. He cited the university’s attempt to terminate Orgo Night as his reason for leaving, calling their decision “wrong-headed” and “one that seems to be an attempt to censor the content of the Band’s performance in direct contravention of the principles of free speech for which Columbia purports to stand.” Chapman ties his frustration back to his role as a member of the ARC, saying that Columbia’s action and methods prevent him from “in good conscience, recommending Columbia to high school seniors as an environment of free expression, intellectual honesty, and open discussion of ideas.” He concludes the email with a call for other members to join him in hopes to invoke change.

Seeing alumni step up in defense of Orgo Night and a fair discussion between The University and The Band is pretty cool. Hopefully, more members of the alumni community will voice their support of the tradition (or at least more transparency) as well.

Edit, as of 10:15 pm: Kevin Chapman is the parent of one of our staff members. This member had no part in writing the post.

Read full email after jump

Jan

18

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Where we learned what Bad and Boujee meant to Donald Glover

Where we learned what Bad and Boujee meant to Donald Glover

Whether you took a plane from across the world or took a walk from a few blocks away, we’ve all returned to campus and are remembering how tiring (and wet) Columbia can be. Before we get back to working hard (or hardly working), here is a playlist to add some bump to your grind. 

  1. Cranes in the Sky by Solange – “It’s like [the Barnard crane] in the sky.”
  2. Am Bet’alaa Feek by Nancy Ajram – A song of longing for when you’re trying to get off that seminar waitlist.
  3. Caroline by Aminé – An upbeat tune that will get you ready for your 8:40 (ugh).
  4. Pray by Terror Jr – Like the moody boy in your CC class, this song talks about the connection between sex and religion.
  5. Vesperae solennes de confessore in C Major, K. 339: IV. Laudate Dominum by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – A different sort of prayer than the former (s/o to Music Hum for introducing us to this piece).
  6. Bad and Boujee (feat. Lil Uzi Vert) by Migos – The source of every Instagram caption of the past couple of weeks…it’s a good song, though.
  7. Star Roving by Slowdive – The first Slowdive release in 22 years, this song is good for wandering around campus on a grey day like today.
  8. Mad by Solange & Lil Wayne – More Solange because this album is excellent (as is this Lil Wayne feature).
  9. Party Monster by The Weeknd – A dark tune for winter weekend nights.
  10. If I Ain’t Got You by Alicia Keys – “I don’t want nothing at all/If it ain’t you, baby/If I ain’t got you, baby”–a song for reuniting with friends after winter vacation.

Jan

18

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What we imagine GSSC meetings would taste like, if they were a dessert

What we imagine GSSC meetings would taste like, if they were a dessert

GSSC became the first student council to convene in 2017 last night with a short, sweet, and informative meeting. Romane Thomas and Jennifer Nugent were in attendance as always, to provide you with the highlights.

Last night, General Studies Student Council met for a total of 18 minutes for a welcome back meeting that unfolded with fun and efficiency.

President LaRosa opened the meeting by welcoming the council back and announcing that the positions of first year president, senior treasurer and student with disabilities representative are now open for application. LaRosa also stated that the GSSC food bank was now officially the Columbia University Food Bank. He announced that this semester, the focus of GSSC will be on mental health and constitutional review as well as bylaws.

The VP of Campus Life enumerated the events for this semester. The senior winter ball will take place on January 26 and costs $12 for tickets. On February 3, GSSC will also volunteer at the church at 114th and Broadway. According to the VP, the organization of gala is underway and GSSC is ahead of schedule in this respect.

After these updates, GSSC voted on the tree lighting budget of $3,545 for the past event. Ramond Curtis asked whether this spending was over or under the original budget. VP of Finance stated that the spending was over the budget due to the unexpected cost of givaways.

The metaphorical cherry on our metaphorical lives via ClipArt Lord

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