#bwoglines
Bwoglines: Tired of Fox News Edition
What we pictured when we heard "crazed giant cat"

What we pictured when we heard “crazed giant cat”

C’mon Columbia, even Congress has got you beat. (The Washington Times).

Police in Portland were called when a “crazed” 22-pound cat trapped its owners inside their own bedroom.  Only in Portland… (Fox News Phoenix)

A Brooklyn boy who had been missing was found after he had been riding the subway for five days straight.  The question we’re all thinking: did he meet the mole people? (New York Times)

That’s why their ears are so big; they’re full of secrets! (The ABC)

And finally, fucking Fox News everybody (check out sassy Columbia at around 2:50):

Catzilla via Shutterstock, video via Fox News

Bwoglines: Survival In The Face Of Insurmountable Challenges Edition
Bwog dunno wut 2 think of dis guy

We don’t know what to think of this guy.

This young couple in Afghanistan is willing to risk it all to be together. (NYT)

LSD ain’t coke but it’s still one hell of a drug, seeing as it hasn’t been used in a scientific study for about 40 years… until now.  Far out. (Gawker)

Colombia’s former president (no, not Eisenhower) has just been elected to the nation’s Senate.  This may present some problems but at least the dude’s got some persistence. (AJA)

Rob Ford, the extremely troubled mayor of Toronto who has survived a crack-cocaine scandal recently, tweeted his followers a reminder to turn their clocks backward for daylight savings time.  The only problem is that it’s spring forward.  Tbh Bwog isn’t sure if the insurmountable challenge is the crack scandal or daylight savings time. (Mashable, Wikipedia)

And one other thing.  Bwog just stayed up super late writing a long ass paper and wants you to know that you too can survive crack scandals, leftist oppositions, Schedule I substance classification, and ethnic/sectarian differences.  So go get ‘em this week, comrades.

A man of fortitude(?) via Wikimedia Commons

Bwoglines: Disappointed Edition
"Shit! Forgot to change my clock"

“Shit! Forgot to change my clock”

You call yourself a champion speller and you can’t spell ‘stifling‘? (Philly.com)

Our girl JLaw would never lie and you know that, Jared Leto. (USA Today)

Isaiah Washington and his homophobic slurs will return to Grey’s Anatomy this season. (Entertainment Weekly)

Aaaand all of these things are almost as disappointing as the fact we just lost an hour last night. According to a man waiting on the train platform last night, “a second ago, it was 1am and BLOOP BLOOP now it’s 3am!” Godspeed. (NBC News)

Bwog’s emotions via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Getting By Edition
chill out and stop tweeting about the guac

It’s going to be okay.

All you Facebook users can stop updating about Chipotle’s guac scandal; it’s going to be okay. Go get your quesarito on, guys. (Slate)

Speaking of Facebook, they might be getting into the drone game. (Wired)

And now that you know what “normcore” is, here’s how to do it right. Chances are, you can start with your mom’s clogs and dad’s khakis. (The Gloss)

You might at some point need to cry publicly in NYC, of course all while dressed like someone out of an episode of Seinfeld, maybe while eating your Chipotle and checking Facebook. Here’s a more comprehensive list, for all your tough days. (NY Mag, Tumblr)

Girl just needs her Chipotle via Shutterstock.

Bwoglines: Nouveau Riche Edition
Is the dollar bill really big, or is the guy just really small?

Is the dollar bill really big, or is the guy just really small?

In more Ukraine news, John Kerry flew to Kiev to announce that the US is giving Ukraine a $1 billion aid package. (Miami Herald)

I think it’s time we all abandon our dreams and move to LA and become pizza delivery people, if that wasn’t your dream already. (NY Daily News)

Facebook never fails to expose us to new levels of idiocy. (Gothamist)

Well whoop-dee-doo Bill Gates.  We’re sooo happy for you. (Business Standards)

The Pope drops the f-bomb.  Well, kinda.  If only we spoke Italian. (USA Today)

My shiny teeth and me via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Question Edition
Not impressed with the snow we got last night.

Not impressed with the snow we got last night.

Why does this show up in Google News?  (NY Daily News)

Would you call it misery? Or only if school is cancelled? (CNN)

Really, Russia? (NY Times)

Twelve Years a Slave.” Did you even watch? (Washington Post)

 

 

Just growing out the scruff via Wikimedia Commons

Bwoglines: Be Healthy or Get Drunk? Edition
2 drunk 2 see Leo

2 drunk 2 see Leo

Be healthy: Seeing Barack and Joe break a sweat is a sure fire way to make anyone want to spend a couple extra minutes on the treadmill. (The State Column)

Get drunk: Don’t worry—bottomless brunches are still legal in New York and it is still socially acceptable to be tipsy by 11am on a Sunday. (Gothamist)

Be healthy: The tofu option at Chipotle will now be offered in most New York stores beginning on Monday. Hooray! (The Huffington Post)

Get drunk: The (un)official Oscar’s 2014 drinking game is out. Bwog’s body is ready. (LAist)

Chipotle will never be healthy, so Bwog is siding with the boozy life. Happy Sloshed Sunday.

This is your year bb via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: To the Extreme Edition
Doesn't look like he's going to make it

Don’t hold back

Hillary looks perfect to us, but apparently her advisers think otherwise. We don’t think it’s negative that’s she’s an unstoppable badass. (Washington Post)

If you think the snow here was bad, we actually did alright. (Houston Chronicle)

Some ventures are really worth dropping the big bucks on. The Core Curriculum would approve. (Chicago Tribune)

Pertinent, contemporary questions: how to navigate both Tinder and roommate relations. (Gothamist)

Extreme sports via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Into The Wild Edition
If only there were a poppyseed bagel with plain cream cheese from Absolute out here, too

If only there were a poppyseed bagel with plain cream cheese from Absolute out here, too

Columbia’s liberal bubble is not well-acquainted with red states or their predilection for causin’ trouble. So what’s the deal with Arizona? (The Washington Post)

Let’s check out the great Academy Award unknown. We’ll see you on the couch this Sunday, BTW. (Los Angeles Times)

Exploring “the best” of New York bagels can only turn out one clear, Absolute champion. (Gothamist)

Bwog loves the Core. Let’s get wild with this pint of Salted Caramel. (The Huffington Post)

Tundra selfie via Shutterstock.

Bwoglines: Mole People Edition
Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera!

Barnard junior Paulina Pinsky, daughter of TV personality Dr. Drew, appeared on CNN to talk about her struggle with eating disorders.  You go girl. (CNN, USA Today)

Too little too late?  We hope not, AZ. (USA Today)

A Mexican drug lord nearly escaped authorities by climbing through a secret hatch in his bathtub and into the sewers.  Wait maybe that was just a dream we had… (LA Times)

Amy Poehler appeared on the Late Night debut of the guy we care less about. (Washington Post)

Thumbs up for poop via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Steps Taken To Change Stuff Edition
We feel the same way, Piers.

We feel the same way, Piers.

Piers Morgan will be stepping down from his role hosting CNN’s 9 o’clock Piers Morgan Live sometime in March. (NYT)

The government in Egypt is stepping down… again. (AJA)

Stepping up to confront gentrification in the San Francisco Bay Area, the Brass Liberation Orchestra is fighting support counterculture institutions in the city.  (AJA)

Netflix has taken steps to join up with Comcast in providing even faster speeds for your binge-watching enjoyment.  (BBC)

 

A very sad Brit via Wikimedia Commons

Bwoglines: RIP Edition
This came up when Bwog searched "rest in peace"

This came up when Bwog searched “rest in peace”

It’s official: Columbia proved that homophobia kills. (New Now Next)

Maria von Trapp, the lasting surviving member of the original Von Trapp Family , passed away yesterday. The hills are not alive with the sound of music today. (Fox News)

Junior’s Brooklyn site is being sold. RIP Cheesecake. (NY Times)

There is now an app that tells you where to buy Girl Scout Cookies. And that’s a wrap on Bwog’s New Years Resolution to get healthy. (Gothamist)

“sweet sleeping asian child” via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Eh…It’s Not Looking So Great Edition
Why wasn't I the one to eat four Chipotle burritos in three minutes?

self-loathing

Oh, Republican Party. You and your emails. (The Nation)

Columbia’s resident Olympian Sasha Cohen might be hoping for the U.S. to win in Sochi, but naturally she’s betting on South Korea and Russia. (People)

Pussy Riot is still under attack. (CNN)

When good movies are left to mediocre critics, unfortunately “it’s still obnoxious hokum.” (BuzzFeed)

Damn. (YouTube)

Should have eaten Chipotle via Shutterstock.

Bwoglines: National Pride Edition
Looking at the weather app this morning

Us looking at the weather app this morning

We’re getting really tired of your shit, weather. (New York Daily News)

The U.N. declared numerous acts carried out by North Korea crimes against humanity in a 400-page report. The U.N panel directly implicated Kim Jong Un, warning him that he may be accountable in the future. (USA Today)

USA, USA! (Science World Report)

A woman spent the night in jail for not returning a movie she rented 9 years ago.  Said movie rental stores, “Look, we really do matter!” (New York Daily News)

Please, no more via Shutterstock

Bwoglines: Sassy Because We’re In A Hurry Edition
yo, i said we were in a hurry

yo, i said we were in a hurry

Yesterday, Secretary of State John Kerry said that he has no time for a meeting of the “flat earth society,” blasting climate change deniers in a talk he was giving on Indonesia…badass. (AJA)

The New York Times Editorial Board just wrote an article on why New York State’s parole system is entirely failing to acknowledge or help inmates showing good behavior. (NYT)

It isn’t just Republicans who hate the Core. (NYT)

Dude getting air via Shutterstock