What an evil looking sloth. Just like you.

Appropriate as it both something that you care about, and also symbolic of what those things have lead us all, slowly, to become.

Let’s start off with HBO, which has announced the launch of a stand-alone streaming service next year! Unfortunately not soon enough to meet your urgent need to watch Season 2 of The Sopranos the night before your micro midterm. (Washington Post)

Though new love might be beckoning, your current lover calls; Netflix needs your help. Following the announcement of less user growth than expected, Netflix stock has fallen 25%. Gilmore Girls is not procrastination, but solidarity, you can tell your parents. (Forbes)

Speaking of souring relationships, to those of you who are considering your own stock with Apple, keep this in mind: the reviews for the new Galaxy Note 4 are very positive. (Wall Street Journal)

It might not be Nutella, but yogurt is still pretty cool right? Whatever. Nutella was never named the official snackĀ of the State of New York. (Gothamist)

In one last bit of entertainment news, those who just couldn’t get into the carnival thing during last night’s AHS: Freak Show can begin counting down the days until the fifth season, recently announced by FX. (AV Club)

Finally, in honor of Bwog’s very serious get together last week, we bring you one of our favorites among the many things you care about: small business. Namely, the geographic density of those small businesses serving, among other things, alcohol. (Gothamist)

Disturbingly devious symbol of lethargy via Shutterstock