Science is back! Bwog’s resident test tube aficionado Zach Kagan reports.”>

Doing science.

Science is back! Bwog’s resident test tube aficionado Zach Kagan reports.

After an exhaustive series of tests at CERN’s Large Hadron Collider, Scientists have ruled out all possible masses for the elusive Higgs Boson between 145 and 466 GeV with 95% certainty. Professor Peter Woit vented his frustration, saying “a malicious deity has carefully chosen the Higgs mass to make it as hard as possible for physicists to study it.” Come on, Higgs Boson, be a team player.

Speaking of illusive matter, some physicists are beginning to doubt dark matter’s existence. Columbia’s XENON100 lab in Gran Sasso, Italy has found no evidence of the particles that theoretically make up dark matter. However, the dark matter detector next door, Gran Sasso National Laboratory’s CRESST-II, has published data suggesting that WIMPS are indeed out there. XENON100 physicists doubt CRESST-II’s data, so the fate of dark matter is unsure, baring some sort of decisive cage match between the labs.

World War II may have seen the greatest generation, but ours certainly knows how to party harder, or so says a new Columbia study. Those born in the past half of the century are more likely go on binges and develop drinking problems. While the jury is still out over the cause of the spike in drinking, but the past year’s Billboard top 40 hits certainly aren’t helping.

The freighting plausible and star-studded epidemic thriller “Contagion” is winning praise with critics and audiences alike partially due to efforts of Columbia epidemiologist W. Ian. Lipkin. Professor Lipkin designed the (thankfully fictional) virus that wrecks havoc on Minneapolis and trained the actors how to effectively act its symptoms. His help was so appreciated that a writers created a character based off of him.

Thanks to one of the few female graduates in the early days of the law school, copyright law was blessed with the “fair use” clause.  Here’s to in-class movies and music.

Measles, mumps, and rubella are frightening now, but as a child you would have preferred putting off your immunization visits to being saved from disease.

A ‘72er (not to be confused with a ’68er) has some words of wisdom for ambitious New School and NYU “protesters.”

The adults have found out about college kids’ drug of choice.  Run!

Professors will get even less work done next semester.  The world’s largest collection of pop music since the 1950′s will be available for use by Columbia professors soon.

Who’s the new kid in town? Uh oh, it’s swine flu. The newest fad in respiratory diseases, is, as you’ve heard from just about everywhere, sweeping its way through the U.S and will probably creep up behind your comfy chair in Butler 209 any second now. 

Although all cases of the flu in the U.S have been mild, Health Services is staying alert about a Columbia outbreak. Scott Wright, VP of Student Services, discussed the need to be aware of flu’s ability to spread during his cameo at last night’s CCSC meeting. He passed around flyers from the NYC Department of Health that instructs New Yorkers on avoiding getting down with the sickness: “clean things that are touched often,” “avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth,” and, you know, wash your hands.

Wright echoed the general sentiment that we are at a moment where the situation is “changing hour-by-hour”, but that it has the “potential to be very serious.” Halp! He assured CCSC that Columbia has access to flu vaccines anti-viral drugs such as Tamiflu but is “not positive” that they will be effective against this strain of the flu. Although, according to Wright, “not enough is known yet to take further action”, Columbia is considered one of the city’s main hubs in case of an emergency and Columbia administrators will know updates on the situation “before anyone else in the area.”

We’re all gonna die!

- ECS

This week, it’s all about the magic that happens at CUMC.  And some other things.

Harry Potter would’ve turned out quite differently: a simple injection of testosterone cures “werewolf syndrome.”

Brilliantly, we connected an inability to concentrate to an inability to concentrate.

When it comes to detecting rather than curing, all Columbia can do is weigh in on the subject.  But, at least CU scientists agree that new technology is super-cool.

He mostly gave money to the Met Opera and such, but we were expecting money from him too.  And he wasn’t even hit by the financial crisis.

Personal empowerment meets Web 2.0.  CU’s going to help bring a bunch of moderately famous people together to discuss such delightful topics as “How To Build Transnational Social Movements Using New Technology.”

 
More stuff you shouldn’t have saved on a public computer.

This result of political justice is capitalism. Everyone benefits in the end. The US government shares the same view as the kallipolis when it comes to capitalism, since humans tend to “watch their back”.

Many may take this as a purely negative aspect, shrapnel from the grenade of conquest and empire, but for any reader to be able to wrap their minds around this concept (native-via-Spanish), said reader will find many gems and jewels amongst the mountains of political, religious, and European understanding.

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Along with many high hopes freshmen carry to their first weeks of college, one of the most promising seems to be the possibility of a new love life. Nonsense, you say—I was canoodling quite successfully in 5^th grade! This is silly. Freshmen don’t know how to do anything, much less mate. Fortunately, Bwog sexpert Andrea Gallardo has collected wisdom from many corners (ie: members of the Blue and White e-mail alias) to breathe hope into this jungle of hormonal dissonance.

Slow down. In this infamously nit-picky city where narcissism thrives, many prefer being single over being caught “settling.” One respondent cautions: “You will hate / ignore your orientation friends within a month. Don’t lie – you’re just using them as seat-fillers at dinner so that you don’t have to confront that nagging feeling of isolation. Therefore, it is in your best interest not to tell them any big secrets or to conceive any of their children.”

Dump the sweetheart. If we can be sure of anything, it’s that retaining a long-distance flame is always more work than it’s worth. Lack of times and physical intimacy inhibit including someone far away into your immediate life. Writes one contributor: “It doesn’t matter that your significant other at home is markedly more attractive than anyone you’ve yet seen at Columbia. Dump them.” Read more…