Ask Bwog (the advice column): Opinions

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Dear Bwog,
A wise man once said, “You’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore.” Even the fact that I’m quoting Tenacious D should give it away – I’m the least hardcore person to ever exist, ever. I’m politically lukewarm; I like whatever music my roommate likes; I can barely put pepper on my food, let alone Tabasco. You’re a ballsy site, Bwog, so how did you get that way? How do you develop some taste, or a backbone, or one single opinion?

Please like me,
Bland Ambition

You’ve no reason for shame. Many of the strongest opinions at our age are simply affectations adopted for purposes of identity, a la middle school, or emergency outlets for Howard Dean inspired passion after that great man has passed [relevance]. Nor is their shame in your roommate’s looooooooooove for the Arcade Fire and messenger bags as (s)he tries to be all college and indy. AF is a good band, messenger bags are practical, and it’s our job to try on identities – at least until we graduate, at which point one must have their life fully and inflexibly planned or they’re fucked and three months away from homelessness and drug addiction.

Welcome to life on the streets.

The only opinion necessary for a passionate life is, “This rocks.” If you worry less about what is good and more about what is AWESOME, you’ll find something. Look outside traditional venues and find your own Howard Dean. And realize you can change a passionate opinion any time without looking stupid because no one
else cares about your opinion anyway.

Another idea: Buy some buttons. Pin them to the shoulder strap of whatever bag
you use. When you’re confronted about any, look and see if you actually care.
If you do care, you’re a douchebag. There’s an identity.

Tenacious D rocks, politics aren’t for everyone, your roommate might be tasteful, but you need to ball up with the pepper. Try starting with Louisiana Hot Sauce. It has a great salty taste with mild vinegar but doesn’t approach the burn factor of Tabasco. Cholula is also good, if you want some culture with your spicy.

Bwog listens to Maroon 5 when nobody is watching.

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