Dean Colombo Knows Your Name!

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Or, to be more accurate, Dean Colombo knows that you have a first name. It’s a start, Chris, but something to keep working on, along with just how many spaces the word “graduation” has (hint: zero).

From: [email protected]
Re: Important Graduation Information!
Date: February 2, 2006 2:51:51 PM EST
To: [email protected]

Dear %First Name%,

Believe it or not, graduation is just around the corner! The Dean of Student Affairs Office has pulled together a number of resources regarding Class Day and graduation into a website called
Gr aduation Zone …

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  1. M. R.

    It's not the first time our Dean of Students' Name-O-Matic has failed him.

    Subject: Columbia Athletics Department Announces "Ivy League Hoop Season"

    Dear %First Name%,

    The Columbia Athletics Department welcomes you back to campus with an exciting lineup of promotions as we begin the Ivy League hoop season. Remember, all students are admitted free with your ID card.

    Remember kids, you're nothing more than %First Name% to Columbia until you graduate. Then you're $First Name$!

  2. C. Colombo

    I regret that a technical error in my recent email to you regarding graduation resulted in my communication appearing at all impersonal. The past four years have been anything but impersonal and I have enjoyed our interactions at student council meetings, numerous student performances and other campus events. I look forward to our remaining time on campus.

  3. Beth

    Mr. Colombo!

    And I thought you didn't care!

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