Apr

30

Dispatch from the Other Coast

Written by

This weekend Bwog found itself in that other great northern city, Seattle, to attend its father’s second wedding. Here, lilacs bloom and herons dip fish out of the salty clear water, and Gore-Tex covers the pallid, unshaven skin of guilty white liberals. After two days knee deep in West Coast relatives, Bwog is ripe with new wisdom:

People don’t give alcohol to kids here. Even at their own father’s weddings. Bastards.

You don’t have to be Asian to have only Asian furniture and art in your home.

Vegan wedding cake is better than regular wedding cake.

Don’t forget to fill your oxygen tank before you go to the wedding!

It’s going to rain.

Marry someone rich!

A soy vanilla latte is just compounded bean water: soy beans, vanilla beans, coffee beans. Just think about it.

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17 Comments

  1. well  

    doesn't it have milk and sugar in it too? i think that makes it more legit as a beverage.

  2. meg  

    This post is cute. Funnily enough, lots of bars on the West Coast serve only juice. Figures.

  3. R!ck

    "there own father's weddings"



    Oh, no.

  4. this is bwerry interesting  

    fuck new york

    im moving to seattle

  5. Nice  

    Sound nice, good for u

  6. unashamed wc-er  

    this post is reason #692 why i love the bwog.

  7. apow  

    Yay! I can't wait to go HOME!

  8. DHI  

    "Vegan wedding cake is better than regular wedding cake."



    Bullshit. BullSHIT. BULLshit. Bullllllllllshit.



    Bullshit.



    Bwog, until you renounce this statement or try in some ridiculous way to prove it, I have to consider the Blue and White no longer a reputable source of anything, ever. It will never be reputable, ever, for anything. It will not ever be reputable for anything again. It will be reputable no more. No more will it be reputable. It will not be reputable anymore. It will be disreputable forevermore. Nevermore will it be reputable. Never, ever, ever, never, never, ever, never, nerver, NEVER, nERVER, NARVAR...


  9. hey last poster....  

    ...are you high? or just a really productive procrastinator?

    • DHI  

      Are you aware of what they're trying to say? I know that all these things are intended somewhat ironically but still - the words "vegan...cake...is better than regular...cake" are in their post. I would have to be high to not rant about it. Do you realize how ridiculous that is?



      Also, I think ya'll don't realize that if you type fast this takes very very little time. It's not a lot of procrastination making long comments.

  10. Katie  

    Sometimes I feel like I live in the same suite as Bwog...

  11. homesick  

    NYC is amazing, but Seattle is still my favorite. Can't wait to go home for the summer. Thanks for reminding me, Bwog.

  12. crackers  

    with 78% white people, this is one of the least diverse cities in the country. no safe spaces there.

  13. NYC forever!  

    NYC forever. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. If you can make it in seattle, you work for Starbucks.

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