Dispatch from the Other Coast
Written by Bwog Staff
This weekend Bwog found itself in that other great northern city, Seattle, to attend its father’s second wedding. Here, lilacs bloom and herons dip fish out of the salty clear water, and Gore-Tex covers the pallid, unshaven skin of guilty white liberals. After two days knee deep in West Coast relatives, Bwog is ripe with new wisdom:
People don’t give alcohol to kids here. Even at their own father’s weddings. Bastards.
You don’t have to be Asian to have only Asian furniture and art in your home.
Vegan wedding cake is better than regular wedding cake.
Don’t forget to fill your oxygen tank before you go to the wedding!
It’s going to rain.
Marry someone rich!
A soy vanilla latte is just compounded bean water: soy beans, vanilla beans, coffee beans. Just think about it.
Tags: foreign gossip