When one sits in John Jay Lounge for any significant length of time during housing season–and there is nothing else that Bwog would rather do–it becomes evident just how big a calculated mindfuck the entire thing actually is. Tensions run high, futures are decided, relationships forged and broken–all to the soothing strains of Josh Groban on loop and the celebratory glow of blue balloons and tablecloths. The room selection whiteboard is embellished with flowers and butterflies, as if trying to disguise the columns of zeros that extinguish the hopes of seniors wanting to spend their last year in good housing. And over it all preside housing and dining staff in sweaters and suits, beaming welcoming smiles, saying we’re here to serve YOU.

How comforting.

Money quote:

Girl on the phone: You just dropped to general selection. Thanks for telling us, because were were just here for 15 minutes waiting for you.
Turning to her friends: Wow, I was like, I don’t think you really need housing then. That’s so whack.
A few minutes later: I’m Latino, so I probably should have just gone to her room and set it on fire.

Update as of 1:40 PM
GONE:
All of East Campus, Hogan, one- and two-bedrooms in Watt, two-bedrooms in Woodbridge, four- and five-person suites in Ruggles, four-, five-, and six-person suites in Claremont.
YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH:
Studios in Watt (26), one-bedrooms in Woodbridge (21), eight-person suites in Ruggles (12), seven-person suites in Claremont (9).