For those too lazy and apathetic and jaded by the godlessness of Columbia to go to church, the International Christian Fellowship brought the gospel to Morningside’s most degenerate pit of iniquity–the Low Steps.

“In an atmosphere like this academy, we all want to believe that, given the right evidence,” one fellowshipper said, “we’re going to make the right decision. But it’s often, even a majority of the time, just not so. It’s just not how people operate.” All that research? Useless.

Also: “There really are only two sides of it. You either accept him and know him, or you’re lost for eternity.” Even if you’re lost for eternity, you might as well pick up the free Bibles and sell them at high prices to clueless future Lit Hummers.