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Gautam Hans
The scent of anxiety oozing from Butler dissipated for about 30 minutes as the Columbia University Marching Band carried out its annual tradition of making chem majors’ lives miserable. Even though most of the orgo exams are next week. This semester, the band largely avoided campus personalities, but hit SHOCC, PrezBo, PrezBush, the West End, and Harvard with a sledgehammer. Some highlights:
– Bollinger put an embargo on Havana Central at the West End, forcing bar hoppers to take inflatable rafts out of Mexican waters from Nacho’s.
– In accordance with the Bush Administration’s “culture of losing,” Dianne Murphy was brought to replace Secretary Rumsfeld. And Scott McClellan was replaced by the Fox news ticker.
– Joe Anzalone is the Butler Masturbator (shhh!).
– Songs titled “I want to fuck you like a privileged majority” and “I hear you knocking, but you can’t get in to my Core Curriculum.”
– When Bollinger transfers to Harvard from his safety school to replace the Chauvinator, he’ll be thinking: “I’m sick of being yelled at by the Concerned Coalition of Students Concerned About Me Not Stopping Some Stupid Shit. Thank god these Harvard dipshits don’t have souls!”
By the end, people were dancing so hard that Bwog feared for the tables they stood on. Orgo Night is remarkable for two reasons: it’s one of two times all year that CUMB gets to feel cool, and one of the equally rare occasions where Bwog wipes away a tear at the ball of CU pride that swells in its chest. Could Columbia solve its much-ballyhooed spirit problem by having a round man in a blue and white polo loudly insult its consituent groups? Bwog ponders.
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24 Comments
@bottles 2 years ago a few friends and i saved up bottles of urine which we emptied onto the band. there’s really nothing funny about being woken up in the middle of the night when you have sleep difficulties to begin with.
@the waaaaaahmbulance boo hoo. who’s really sleeping at 2 on a thursday night anyway? and saving urine in bottles is more trouble than popping a nyquil for orgo night. deal.
@The Senator Throwing urine on the band is despicable. You should be tossed from housing. A curse on you and your lineage.
@I love Joe Joe Anzalone IS hot and not at all round.
@i don't know why i'm fool i’m telling you what i saw, not disaproving of CUMB–who i think are funny and provide some needed levity.
@hmmm Who cleans up the papers anyway? Does this give facilities a larger burden than they would already have, or just give them something else to do for a little while instead of cleaning up after our slob asses elsewhere on campus?
@though There seemed to be much less paper thrown this orgo night than in orgo nights passed.
@Cody Far less paper, and no toilet paper. The revelry didn’t seem any less though, and there were more students on the quad than I remember in the past.
No one threw balogna. Poster #15 is a fool.
@just for fairness Most Barnard women (or wymyn, whatever you prefer) find orgo night to be hilarious fun. A few were mad about the papers being thrown out of the windows or the noise, but most were relishing the opportunity to throw things out the window with security watching and without risking penalty.
@they're not alone i vaguely remember watching them in the front of wein, and then watching what looked like bologna frisbeeing through the air and hitting some of them. Campus security even brought out a spotlight to shine on the windows
@barnard should shut it i’m so glad the band gives barnard trouble. and the hilarity that ensues from the responses of the barnard wymyn is just amazing
@yo right, because *you’d* enjoy the band playing right outside your window at 2 in the morning (and they’re not nearly as good as they are loud, might i add…)
wait, i forgot- barnard girls don’t need sleep before exams, they’re all just waiting for a stud like you to whisk them away into a life of barefoot and pregnant luxury.
@it's not 2 AM, and unless your exam is at 8 you’ll get enough sleep. if you need more you’re mentally soft and will never cut it in the real world.
@well i think my favorite is when some girl pushed my gong over into the snow last winter. that was a priceless antique gong from the ming dynasty
@curious Of the papers thrown out of the windows in the Barnard quad, there were dozens (hundreds?) with the message “Michael _____’s penis is 1/2″ long (or 1/256″ or 2″: there was quite a range).” Someone truly obsessive was at work here! And how embarrassing as people kept picking them up to get a closer look.
@bah Other highlights:
-Firework being shot out a window of Wien at Band in 2004
-Angry Self Righteous Barnard Wymyn interrupting a Quad performance to angrily demand that bandies and followers clean up the mess of paper and toilet tissue thrown out windows by Quad residents.
-Bottles being tossed at band from Wien in 2006, resulting in CU Squad flashing builiding with a search lamp in search of the culprit
@bah II -Barnard Wymyn then proceeded to throw water balloons. Which would’ve been funny if there wasn’t an electric amplifier and the possibility of electrocution involved. I take it back, that made it funnier.
@hey i saw knew it was going to be gautam hans with the photo credit, what with all the pictures he was snapping.
@Do me Joe Forget about Gillian, be mine.
@SS (by llc lounge, I mean Wallach lounge.)
@SS There was a breakfast in the llc lounge. I went there around 12:40ish. (Went right from orgo night.) Although there was not that much food (just bagels, and already out of cream cheese), there were about 20-25 people in there, so I am not sure how you would have missed it.
@shira orgo night was great! I feel so overwhelmed with school spirit – seems like it’s all concentrated into the space of a couple of weeks. what I want to know is where the llc post-orgo breakfast was, though… seemingly not in the wallach lounge…
@And admirer Joe Anzalone is hot!
@oy Columbia UNIVERSITY Marching Band.