This is the sixth post in the senior wisdom series. Read the rest here.
Andrew Stinger, CC’06.
Claim to fame: Mr. CU Relief.
Post-grad plans: Still waiting to hear about a spot in the Associates Program at Random House. Other possible back-up plans include marketing with Starwood
Hotels, a position buying air time for an advertising agency, or bartending until something better comes along.
Preferred swim test stroke?
Freestyle — anything to beat the 80-year-olds doing lap swim in the lane next to me.
What are three things you learned at Columbia?
1. Expect to become an academic ‘expert’ on one esoteric topic by accident. For example, I never really set out to be able to discuss the significance of the broadside on the first page of Phillis Wheatley’s poetry. . . . in three separate classes.
2. The stairs in the ‘exit’ stairwells are the quickest way to navigate Lerner.
3. If it’s important, expect Mail Services to lose it. If it’s a credit card offer or a cell phone bill, expect Mail Services to give you yours, and someone else’s.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less.
Unfiltered, candid commentary. Usually with a shit-eating grin.
What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?
It predates me, but when that Fordham priest used a racial epithet to describe our Marching Band conductor. Just goes to show we’re not the only school in need of safe spaces.
What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?
The sunny side: My first Columbia assignment ever was to schedule time to meet with my Lit Hum professor during office hours and just generally chew the fat. It made me realize professors actually are available outside of class, and sometimes do take an interest in their students.
The cloudy with chance of rain side: Thinking “this could be the year” about our football team after Baker Blast.
The only-in-college side: Dance Marathon!
Which Prof do you think would be the best kisser?
I’m not a member of the “I have a man-crush on Lee C. Bollinger” facebook group for nothing. I defy anyone of any orientation to sit through that man’s Freedom of Speech and Press class and not fall for that dreamy smile.
What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?
As the ‘last chance to dance’ desperation grows thicker towards graduation . . . I’m guessing 60 percent.
Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?
Cheese. I’m mildly lactose intolerant anyway.
Days on campus memory?
I don’t have one of my own (the whole “transfer student” thing), but I remember actually tripping over some pre-frosh girl on an air mattress in our common room in Hartley and wondering what the hanky was going on.
The enumerated list of actual regrets:
1. Not at least declaring a concentration in some sort of subject area that’s more vocationally oriented (econ, pre-med . . . heck, even poli sci).
2. Not doing more of my thesis in January.
3. Not getting more involved in our arts community earlier.
4. I never got CAVA’d.
5. I never was a Blue and White campus character. Really, I just kind of yearned for the free sketch.
Things to do in order to avoid further regrets:
1. Photo op on top of the Lion.
2. Little somethin’ somethin’ in Butler.
3. Go for a run across the GW Bridge.
@haha lol I TOOK THAT PICTURE!
@Rodney why is everyone gushing over this schmuckball?
@secretadmirer you were the hottest guy in our art hum section. tis sad that your “hotness” will no longer be a visible entity in core classes at Columbia. ::sigh:: good luck to ya, though!
@Adios Senor Stinger Your senior wisdom and the memory of your so-called “shit-eating grin” will last long after you have left the building. Be sure to come back and visit now, y’hear?
@sttttiiiiiinnnnnnger if you ever need anyone to black out and piss in a trash can with, you can call on me anyday
@stingertaughtmemorethanCU seriously. this man will teach you more things with just thirty blocks and two forties than columbia could ever hope to.
@morestingerlove Gonna miss this one.
@loveyoustinger we’re going to miss you a lot next year. and by we i mean me, and by me, i mean your very tardy starbucks date. (ooh, secret code names!! that makes us cool.)
@mancrushonandrew GOOD LUCK IN EVERYTHING YOU DO!!! You will be missed greatly–especially at CUDM
you’ve officially been pimped.
@Andrew And I know I made a typo.
@Andrew Whatever, I’m not too cool to be the first (and only?) to post a comment.
Just wanted to say that while I appreciate the recognition, I really can’t justifiably consider myself “Mr. CU Relief.” My name was just on a lot of e-mails campus groups received.
CU Relief owes much more of its success to the hard work of Ayinwi Muma, Jen Schnidman, Cindy Gao, Caroline Guidry, Gabby Breen, Ana Ortiz, Wendy Francois, Princess Myrie, Tom Fazzio, Michelle Oh, Ra-sun Williams, Tanya Lindsay and Sy Cabria. It was an incredibly honor to work alongside such amazing individuals toward a common goal.
Also, shameless plug: Random House didn’t pan out (came close, though), so I’m technically still unemployed. If you are a potential future employer and endorse keg stands at 10:30am during homecoming, we should talk.