This is the ninth post in the senior wisdom series. Read the rest here.

Bethany Milton, C ’06
Claim to Fame: Bwog Co-Editor.
Post-grad plans: European Politics and Society Program Assistant, Danish International Study Program, Copenhagen, Denmark. (It’s the secret English-language study abroad program everyone loves.)

Preferred swim test stroke?

The “Oh-let-me-just-make-sure-my-bikini- top-is-going-to-stay-on-before-I-jump- in-OH-MY-GOD-I- JUST-UNHOOKED-MY-BIKINI- TOP-BOOBIES-STAY-IN-!-!-!-!

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1. Montaigne was cranky because he had a kidney stone.
2. Nietzsche was cranky because he had the syph.
3. Freshman are cranky because they have to take Frontiers. Suckas!

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

I’m carbon neutral.

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

You might not of heard of it– it was freshman year and called “Beth vs. the Wrestler Who Lived on the End of the Hall and Dated Christy Romano and Left Porn Running on His Computer 24-7″

”Beth vs. Big Wrestler’s Little Wrestler Sidekick” was also pretty impressive.

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

Senior Ball After-Party? I have a bad long-term memory.

Which Prof do you think would be the best kisser?

The Sex Ed professor on the Bedford Diaries.

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

40 percent.

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

If I could tell people about the trade-off, oral sex. If I couldn’t, cheese. More awkward to refuse sex acts without explanation than cheese.

Days on campus memory?

I remember being shocked and horrified when a girl in our dinner group went outside to smoke. One year later I was smoking semi-regularly. Now I’m kind of shocked and horrified again that a 17-year-old was smoking.


Any and all Barnard-hating. That school has its shit together and Columbia ought to take notes. Never staying in the city for a summer. Not planting the crackers because that would have been brilliant. Spending so much of my college career abroad (not that it didn’t have its benefits… the chief one being… JOB!)

Abuse position as Bwog Co-Editor to ramble?

It’s been around a scarce four months but the Bwog might be the thing I’m most proud of at Columbia. It’s an idea whose time has come and I’m just sad I won’t be here to see where it’s going.

‘Thank you’s are in order. Thank you to all the posters and especially the underclassmen who have been taking over more and more responsibility the past few weeks; the site will be in good hands next year. Thanks also to our tipsters; there’s no question you make bwgossip is the best Columbia alias to be on and the Bwog far more interesting than we could alone. Thank you to Zach VS for his interweb magic. And Taylor for reminding us when Dead Guy jokes aren’t funny. Finally, a big thank you to our readers and commenters. I think you might be crazy, I think you might be obsessed with the site, and I know you are opinionated in the weirdest ways… but so am I. I’m glad we’ve found each other.

The Bwog isn’t going away this summer, just slowing down a little. And it’ll be back with a vengeance in September. I know I’ll be hitting refresh repeatedly and I hope you will, too.