Oct

30

Breaking News: Oscar Sevilla’s Pants Ablaze

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In the wake of last night’s CTV News scoop on this story, Barnard officials emailed students this afternoon with an update on the stabbing of Oscar Sevilla, the superintendant of the college’s antipodean Cathedral Gardens dorm. Sevilla, it turns out, faked his police report, claiming the incident took place on 110th St. between Broadway and Amsterdam Ave., when in fact it occurred in a more northerly part of Manhattan. He has now been charged with falsifying his report as well as suspended from his Barnard job.

We’re guessing that Spec’s Roving Reporter will now have to reverse last week’s claim that Sevilla ought to be armed with a medieval battle weapon… perhaps supplanting it with the question of which archaic torture device would best help determine why Sevilla was intent on concealing his whereabouts- and bringing crime-related pandemonium to Morningside Heights.

See the full Barnard email below the jump…

-CJS

“Dear Students,

The message below is from Elizabeth Gildersleeve, Associate Vice President

for Communications.

Dorothy Denburg

Dean of the College

*******************************************************************

To the Barnard Community:

This is to update you on last week’s incident involving Oscar Sevilla. We have been

advised by the NYPD that the attack on Mr. Sevilla took place in northern Manhattan, not in the vicinity of Barnard College as he reported, and that the police have now

charged him with filing a false report concerning the incident. Mr. Sevilla has been suspended from his position at Barnard College pending resolution of the case.”

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16 Comments

  1. northern manhattan  

    is that the latest euphamism for Harlem?

    • not if  

      it happened in washington heights or inwood

      • i thought  

        that they were all the same. washington heights and inwood = euphemisms for parts of harlem.

        • is everything  

          a euphemism for harlem then? it certainly makes it easier to cry racism or historical revisionism, I guess. not that the dominicans who live in washington heights would ever call 181st street harlem, but, you know, whatever.

          • correction  

            you mean the new class of wall street/downtown yuppies who are now renting out the area

          • wrong again  

            wikipedia to the rescue:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Heights

            the article legitimates the neighborhood's dominican character (they nicknamed it "quisqueya heights," not "dominican harlem"), while explicitly stating that yuppies use the term "hudson heights" for the area.

            yes, believe it or not, everything about 96th street is not harlem, nor was considered such in the past. washington heights was named after a revolutionary war fort. it's unfortunate that the cultural diversity and historical variegation of half of manhattan island are so typically sublimated by those who want to impose the "harlem" schematic in order to make a political point about whatever part of northern manhattan happens to be gentrifying.

          • are you  

            a fucking moron? the article you posted even said that the Hudson Heights SUBSECTION (meaning its still part of the area) is expanding. that was my point-gentrification is occuring- not that every place can reasonably called 'harlem'.

            However I agree, to a lot of people, anything above about 110 on the west side and 95th/100th on the east becomes 'harlem'. Its pretty sad.

          • must  

            every correction on bwog include the preface "are you a fucking moron?"

          • OK...  

            Let's be clear:

            Washington Heights and Inwood are very distinct neighborhoods -- both were Jewish/immigrant mixes long after Harlem had become a black neighborhood. In fact, neither neighborhood is especially black today, in contrast to their neighbor. Calling the whole thing "Harlem" is a lame downtown device to lump half a million people into one neighborhood.

            "Hudson Heights" refers to a three-block area around the GW Bridge, which does admittedly have a different character. Nobody uses this to refer to the entire neighborhood.

            If you wanna be slick and know what you mean uptown:

            ------ Harlem River Canal
            Inwood
            ------ Dyckman Street
            Fort Washington
            ------ 178th Street/GW Bridge
            Washington Heights
            ------ 155th Street
            Sugar Hill/Hamilton Heights (Harlem)
            ------ 144th Street
            Harlem, Manhattanville
            ------ 125th Street
            Morningside Heights (W side)
            Spanish Harlem/East Harlem (E side)
            ------ 96th Streets
            Upper West and Upper East sides

            This is pretty close to general parlance (obviously, those aren't anywhere NEAR being fixed boundaries), aside from leaving out some interesting subneighborhoods like Manhattan Valley, Fort George, Fort Tryon, etc. It definitely ain't all "Harlem" -- go for a walk! I recommend Convent Avenue through Hamilton Heights, which is one of the nicest places in Manhattan.

          • hmm  

            it's like calling everything below 14th street "greenwich village." NO.

          • right  

            I agree with you...my question was rhetorical.

  2. well  

    i'd say its about time for a new name....
    "morningside heights" and "manhattanville" are overplayed

    i'm just waiting for it to start being called gumdrop forest

  3. Anonymous  

    all you fucking morons out there...

    can one of you please tell me why bwog always makes us jump. i'm getting fucking tired of jumping. that email didn't need a whole fucking jump. bwog could just have indented/italicized the important bits.

    ps. i hate macs.

    • the reason  

      there was a jump for the email was because all the important information was already in the post. the email itself, then, was somewhat superfluous. in other situations, the jump makes posts take up less room on the main page, which streamlines it and allows you to see more in a single scroll. in any case, you see the full post whenever you want to comment...

    • DHI  

      When they say jump, we say "how high?"

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