Puck Fenn!

Written by

upennWe like to think Columbia can scoff at such things as superfluous interinstitutional rivalries. Not only are there enough warring factions between 120th and 114th to feed our hunger for conflict for ages, but in truth, we’re too sophisticated and busy for that.

But we may be at a crucial junction in Columbia history. The sexually frustrated lurkers on Bored at Butler (the site is at this moment broken) have proposed a rivalry with Penn:

    “click on newsworthy on your Official Vote so that it gets displayed on the side and        doesn’t just disappear. And write a DP article on it. And click share to post it on your     facebooks. And find a good offensive phrase. Cuck Folumbia kind of sounds dumb.     And the Chinatown bus from Philly to NYC is really cheap, take it up here for the         games and we’ll return the favor. Looking Forward to RIVALRY!”

Penn accepted on their B@B franchise Bored at VanPelt:


Pro: Maybe a fun football game once a year.

Con: We’d have to go to Philadelphia. Lame.

-Thanks to Layla for the tip

Another reason why a rivalry with Penn would be grossly unmatched, in the form of a “have some fries” Ivy League joke after the jump…


Harvard: “Did you do anything this weekend?”

“Nope. Have some fries.”

Yale: “I got mugged on the way to class today.”

“Have some fries.”

Brown: “I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.”

“Cool! Me too! Have some fries.”

Cornell: “I killed my lab partner this weekend.”

“Bummer. Have some fries.”

Princeton: “My father took away my porsche this weekend.”

“Poor dear. Have some escargot.”

Columbia: “I wish that I could be eating these fries at a better


“Me too. Let’s go get shot.”

Penn: “I wish that I could be eating these fries at a better school.”

“Me too. Let’s transfer to Columbia.”

Dartmouth: “Oh man, I got so trashed this weekend. It was f**kin awesome.”

“Have some beer.”

Tags: ,


  1. wait  

    I am honestly really confused on this point - doesn't Columbia have a longstanding, albeit kinda low-key, rivalry with Princeton, given their relationship with Alexander Hamilton, the football history, the political differences, etc.? I could've sworn I'd heard that more than once.

  2. also  

    Let's not forget that Princeton rejected Hamilton because he was a bastard child, which is why he went to King's College (CU), and he later attacked the Princeton grounds during the revolutionary war.

  3. We can still hate PU  

    The Princeton-Columbia rivalry is kind of mild, although it does have a fun historical background in Hamilton and Burr. I think everyone hates Princeton enough to have a partial rivalry with them.
    Harvard and Yale have had a longstanding rivalry, but Harvard and Princeton fight for the #1 ranking, so it seems like Princeton really wants in on the Harvard-Yale rivalry, and doesn't want to recognize any others. Penn had/has a rivalry with Princeton (they used to sell Puck Frinceton shirts on, it has disappeared though). Penn complains that Princeton doesn't really recognize them, so the moral of the story is that everyone hates Princeton.

  4. Anyone know  

    What the Aaron Burr society is about? I'm not as Hamilton-crazy as some of the people here, but it still seems awefully odd for a group to celebrate the killer of one of our Framers.

  5. freshman  

    ok, so for any freshman who were in the columbia MYSPACE GROUP, you know there already is a rivalry with Penn. those bitches were so annoying this summer.

  6. Dear Freshman  

    Freshman who was
    Freshmen who were

    I take pride in the grammatical proficiency of Bwog-commentators.

    • seriously  

      This kid is posting about the "columbia MYSPACE GROUP" on Bwog and thus probably needs to be cut a little slack as far as that whole "grammatical proficiency" thing is concerned.

  7. i think  

    princeton wants in on a rivalry with harvard. it feels left out. in my impression, columbia has a rivalry with princeton and so does penn. the penn columbia rivalry doesn't work out so well, mostly because they almost always kick our ass.

  8. no way  

    Posters 5 and 9 are right. Schools are always trying to "marry up" in a rivalry, which is why Penn boasts of its fierce rivalry with Princeton, yet Princeton is busy talking about their party when they beat Harvard and Yale.

    It would make a lot of sense to have a rivalry with Princeton- NY/NJ, Hamilton/Burr, etc. But Princeton is never going to call us back. :-(

    By these rules, not only would Penn be unwilling to trade its "rivalry" with Princeton (however one-sided it might be) for one with us, but we should not want to pair with them either because, US News aside, Columbia has a better rep than Penn. Penn is gross. We shouldn't want to be seen with them.

  9. Cornell  


  10. It's okay, Cornell  

    You can have Brown!

  11. Dartmouth  

    I'm pretty lost in this forest.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.