Newsflash: Indiscretions of youth frozen forever on the Internet!

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Curious about the students who will swarm our hallowed halls come September? You know, the most recent “smartest class ever“? Never fear– staffer Lucy Tang wades into the muck so you don’t have to. Her report:

If you thought the class of 2010 was annoying with their Myspace groups, discussion threads that provided too much information about various (non)existent sex lives, endless facebook groups that multiplied overnight, and random friend requests– which all resulted in the retaliatory group “Class of 2010 PLEASE calm down… you’re not even here yet!”– then you’re going to love the class of 2011.

Their main facebook group already boasts 1,138 members, 357 photos, 353 discussion posts, and an overabundance of eagerness and naivete. We all remember the feeling of excitement and fear before coming to school, but what did people do before facebook existed? Maybe they kept their thoughts inside and made friends face to face orientation week and in classes? Hm?

Brace yourself for a quick overview of the groups that have sprouted up:

For Columbia’s discerning hipster-

Indie Watch — Barnard/Columbia Edition

Summary: “Woah, you like Neutral Milk Hotel too?! You must be cool! Let’s trade’s and talk about how Pitchfork’s opinion holds no sway!”

A few months in, these nascent hipsters will realize that a good majority of Columbia likes Belle & Sebastian, and when the football player next door starts blasting The Mountain Goats, their identities will crumble. A penchant for indie rock does not a person make.

For the partiers

Columbia is known for its vocal student body, protests galore– hell, we’ve even been featured in New York magazine for our socially active student body. The class of 2011 continues this proud tradition as they try to get The U’s “very lame” rating of Columbia’s party scene “re-evaluated come September beeetch!!” Saigon Grill sit-in, beer funneling… we’re all fighting for a cause here.

The creator, Tania Angelica Harsono, self-proclaimed “Boobilicious Bartender and Greek Life Spy, Official Party Animal #1,” is the Joan of Arc of this crusade. Every generation has a opinionated woman, and Tania seems to be following right in the steps of Gloria Steinem and Maureen Dowd. Bold, beautiful, Tania.

Even before they even move in, they’ve already started to revolutionize Columbia. 
“Sexayyy dancin” indeed.

Then there’s the Hydrated Columbia Crew.

Their mission statement: “If you’re ready to put down your books for a couple of hours and tear NYC up… this group is for you. ( Of course we will all maintain our 4.0 GPA)”

The reality:

1. As soon as these young souls arrive on campus, their first few weeks may be riddled with spontaneous trips downtown for the city’s nightlife– Broadway shows, fine dining in Times Square (Chili’s! Red Lobster!), maybe even the occasional show at Webster Hall or Bowery. But tearing up NYC? Soon enough, these kids will realize the difficulty of navigating New York City without a fake ID, the long waits for those treacherous subway rides back from downtown, and succumb to the overall convenience of the Carman parties.

2. And the 4.0 GPA? Well, that dream will be shattered come January 2008, no need for defeated spirits so early on.

We could all learn from these kids. Have fun in Carman, don’t step in the vomit in the service elevator.

For the Jewish Theological Seminary students and admirers

Has Janis Spindel got you down? No worries, little shikse, here’s JDate for the discerning Ivy Leaguer.

For the future wasted kids at Eurotrash

Franglais Forever

Also, last year, a curious phenomenon set upon Columbia in the form of many attractive girls strutting down college walk and speaking French, often referred to as “the hot French girls.” Missed your opportunity this year? No worries, another shipment’s coming in August 2007! 

On that note, I leave you with the future.

Not a pretty sight.

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  1. Lucy Tang

    you are somewhat extremely hot.

  2. Columbia=School?  

    Never has the term "asshattery" been more relevant.

  3. Oh my,  

    I'm excited for the new class to come in. Haha.

  4. hahaha

    ahah who's extremely hot ? :S

  5. Aww  

    Look at all the young love happening in that third picture. That'll be over in a week.

  6. haha

    i love the photo of the wbar kids in the indie group. elder worship?

  7. here's the thing

    I love that they all listen to the same 8 shitty bands that aren't even "indie" because they're not independent bands

  8. Anonymous

    oh man, I get to be one of the Carman RAs that deals with all of this.

  9. CML

    This post was awesome.

  10. Joey

    I love being raped by verbose, self-righteous people who have never met me... To be fair, we probably deserve 99% of what Lucy said.

    • oh jeez

      "Being raped"? Being made fun of on Bwog is now comparable to being sexually assaulted? Is that the new 'let's appropriate a loaded word in a really inappropriate way' trend among you embryos, a la 'that's so gay'? If so, then I'd say you fuckers deserve 100% of what Lucy said, and I would even say she didn't go far enough. Enjoy your NSOP Diversity Training, kids!

    • glad

      to see that you think you deserve it!

      oh and #14's right. try using the term rape again in casual conversation and prepare to get busted by the sensitivity police!

    • call me a stalker,  

      but we already have one semi-cute gay Joey at this school. now Im just gonna be confused

  11. ...

    I joined the indie group because I'm a sucker for, but the discussion on there is rather amusing.

  12. cu alum

    great post, bwog! the sad thing is that i had conducted one of those alumni interviews with an '11er who seems to be in most of the groups.

  13. well...

    as a 2010er, i now understand how annoyed everyone else was with us. way to outdo us, 2011.

  14. my my

    The cynicism of you current/past students! Be happy that we're all so excited to go to Columbia. You all know our bubbles will be burst soon enough, allows us to revel in our excitement while we can.

    • it's

      not so much your excitement- that we can handle.
      it's more the rankling bits of each of these groups- like the weird picture of indie kids pasted from bwog in the indie group (bizarre!) and the utter vacuousness of the party animal groups (which is sad).

      you don't need to worry that you'll party, if you're anxious. that's the last thing you have to worry about, and hopefully not the reason you chose to come to columbia.

    • relax

      No. 23 is right. Many of us oldsters are not 24/7 cynics. You've got every right to enjoy yourself and be excited about it. But you're not bright and unique snowflakes. You're coming into a place where everyone is just as smart and clever and student-body-president-y/community-service-head-y/editor-of-the-school-paper-y as you are, you will make friends, you will have a good time.

      Proclaiming yourself a "Boobilicious Bartender and Greek Life Spy," on the other hand? Perhaps a little on the "pathetic" side. What ever did we do before social networking websites?

  15. hahahah  

    hahaha i hate the freshmen already.

  16. ...  

    The (mis)use of the word "rape" above bodes well for 2011's ability to live up to 2010's shenanigans and conjures up fine memories of 2010's outgoing President.

    Good luck, 2011, make us feel shame.

  17. my my

    (poster of #22) As an incoming freshman I'll admit that the party groups are pretty sad, nothing says "I don't know how to party" like making a group about what party animals you are. The "bright and unique snowflake" comments made me LOL. Too good. I assure you that not all of us aspire to be Boobilicious Bartenders!

  18. ouch

    "A penchant for indie rock does not a person make."

    No, but a penchant for Belle & Sebastian and the Mountain Goats does an idiot make.

  19. ugh

    i can't express how much i want to watch 2011's excitement collapse like a flan in a cupboard when they get here. Enjoy it while you can!

  20. hmm

    Didn't another class have a similar experience with livejournal or xanga or whatever came before myspace and facebook?

    • nope

      we '07s actually met people face to face during orientation. later that year they intro'd facebook and incoming freshmen were never the same again.

      • 08er

        I think facebook was around when I was an incoming first year, but it wasn't so huge and popular that I knew about it before I got to campus. And my 09 friends, none of them really got into it before they got here, either. I think all this really started with 2010, especially since that was the first year that they allowed high school students onto facebook, and the first summer that we had Bwog, so the thing really exploded. I do dimly recall 2010 had a livejournal group, maybe that's what 33 is thinking of.

  21. oh dear

    "Made me LOL." Poor thing.

  22. Alum

    When I arrived as a freshman 20-plus years ago I had no idea who my classmates -- or even my roommates -- would be. (To be fair, URH had asked us over the summer to describe our ideal roommate and managed to find someone who almost exactly matched my preferences.)

    In those days "facebook" meant an actual harbound book with tiny little pictures of us, our home towns and intended majors. We got to know people during (and even after!) orientation and, if we needed help remembering which face went with which name, we opened the book.

    The '11ers definitely have it better than we did. I wish I'd been able to get acquainted with some of my classmates before I moved into Carman. On the other hand, I still have my facebook to look at when I feel nostalgic. Who knows what remnants of those pages will still be around 20-plus years from now.

  23. 2011  

    already the most annoying class on campus and they haven't even gotten here. 2010 will finally be redeemed!

  24. oh the deception

    "It'll be super-fun! Promise. And you'll be FAMOUS!"

  25. Aw, c'mon

    We're not that bad, are we? Weren't you all annoying prefrosh once upon a time?

    • Nope

      We were prefrosh once upon a time, but we weren't annoying, because the other Columbia students didn't have to see or hear from us until we were actually on campus, aside from a few Days On Campus encounters. Let me put this in a way you techno-jacked-up kids will understand: pretend Columbia is a well-established internet message board. Pretend it's the Something Awful forums. You know how annoying it is when That Idiot signs up and immediately starts creating a ton of new threads and disrupting conversations and being an idiot who doesn't really get the whole vibe of the board and disrespects the older posters? Well, you're all That Idiot. Be smart, do what you would do whenever you join a new messageboard...lurk, get to know the layout and the personalities and the etiquette before you jump in posting. You have such an advantage here that you're squandering...a chance to lurk around and arm yourself with knowledge that will make your first few weeks on campus come September that much easier, easier than we all had it when we arrived. I think that would be smarter than running around being That Idiot and earning yourself a reputation - as annoying and egotistical brats - that will be hard to shake even when school starts.

  26. Wondering?

    i've noticed that in campus publications, bands are often disparagingly referred to as "indie," but i never see anyone saying, "here's this band, and i will vouch for the fact that it's good and it's indie."

    so here's my challenge, and i'm not trying to start a flame war, as i don't consider myself a sophisticated indie music consumer by any measure:

    what bands would you vouch for as the coolest, most bad-ass indie that you listen to? if you're (god forbid) trying to actually impress somebody, who do you mention?

    • dirrty

      I'd tell you, but it's so obscure I don't even know it.

    • indie

      Currently, if I wanted to namedrop an indie band that's really talented, I'd pick The Academy Is... Their new album is great, really fun to listen to, holds up to multiple listens...they're really talented, and have enough indie streed cred to appease the hipsters, but also have lots of mainstream appeal. Second choice, Gym Class Heroes.

      Unfortunately, "indie" nowadays really refers more to a sound than the status of a band's label. Kind of like when "alternative" music kept being called "alternative" even when it wasn't an altervative to anything because it had become mainstream. Confusing.

      • not quite indie  

        As much as I also like The Academy Is, I wouldn't call them indie. The high-school-fangirl:hipster ratio at the shows I've been to is pretty one-sided. Hell, they're doing a stadium summer tour w/ Fall Out Boy. I'm willing to bet the same goes for Gym Class Heroes too.

        But hey, props for having the balls to bring that up. I'm consitantly wary of being flamed for being ~*emo*~ talking about my music tastes...

        • TAI

          The Academy Is...'s fans might not be typically indie because they're currently enjoying success thanks to Pitchfork blessings and the stadium tour and a clever marketing campaign, but they were raised and nurtured by an independant label, Fueled By Ramen. So even though their last album was put out on Atlantic, I'd still consider them indie because it reflects their roots and their sound.
          And Gym Class Heroes is still on FBR, which makes them definitely indie, despite their commercial success.

  27. Columbia 08

    Facebook was still young when I was a pre-frosh, so we didn't have the ability to make embarrassing groups like these. Instead, some of us posted on CUCommunity, where we were just as able to demonstrate our naivete.

    It is pretty funny, though, how everyone before coming to Columbia thinks they're going to "tear it up 24/7." It's not high school, kiddies.

  28. what about

    Tegan and Sara? Anyone know them? Indie cred or no?

  29. What?  

    Who cares if a band has "cred" or not? I thought the whole point of seeking out independent artists was because they had a greater focus on the music itself. Ah, yes, but hipsters are about image, not substance.

  30. yawning

    who has the time for all this? let them chirp awhile! ... see the film.

  31. parker

    lucy. i cant imagine how much fun you had doing research for this. parker.

  32. screw

    you all who aren't in the class of 2011 and are haters with no grounds for hate.

  33. seriously?  

    Way to use your words. No wonder you got into Columbia.

  34. think

    If you're annoyed by us and our groups, don't look through them. The main 2011 group provides a lot of support and information for all members. None of us think we're any better or smarter than you are, so stop hating us there. One of the reasons most of us are coming to Columbia is ALL of the student population, the fact that everyone's great in some way and brings high standards to the campus.
    Just because you didn't have facebook and things were different for you when you got acepted, doesn't mean we should sulk in our own corners as well. It's not hurting anyone, it allows class of 2011 to interact with each other, and good friendships have already been made AFTER WE'VE MET EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE at the get-togethers and DoC, and yet knowing each other through facebooks first helped.
    We all know that things /will/ die down eventually, but what's the problem with us having fun right now? Are we interfering with your daily life? We're not in your face, but yet you watch us carefully, which is /your/ problem, not ours. Accept the fact that things don't have to be the same way they were for you for life to go on.

  35. right

    Right. And I hope you realize that you've just generalized our entire class into wild party-animals when the "wild party" scenes you so beautifully captured (or ripped off facebook) represents less than 25% of us.

    That, and let me think,... who exactly provided us with the alcohol? Oh! That would be current students in Columbia, wouldn't it?

    We're not any worse than you. Get over it.

  36. whatever man

    i got a kick out of this article. can't wait for the c/o 2012 version!

  37. niiiice.

    Please continue to mock my classmates. Pretty please?

    • Are you kidding me

      As an incoming freshman, I understand your arguments. I can't say I agree, becasue I am part of these groups mainly because I met the creaters at DoC's and they invited me in and I also wanted to meet potiental classmates. I agree its a little "overrated" but how can I sit back while everyone is becoming best friends and try not meet people? Its a lose-lose situation. As far as partying, that was one night, and yes people like to drink, its normal.
      I'm sure it will all calm down, I met kids on facebook that I promised to meet at DoC and we never did. I also met others who have facebook and we weren't facebook friends that I still talk to. As far as Tania, shes one of the amazing people I met over DoC and she really doesn't deserve to be bashed.

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