Aug

18

What Bwog Did on Its Summer Vacation

Written by

In which Bwog staffers reminisce–namelessly, by and large–about how they occupied themselves for the last few months. If you’ve got something better, send
sdfsit ([email protected]) in and we’ll share!

So my boss just sent me out on an errand, with nothing more than an address and his credit card. I assumed the location was a store, I assumed wrong. I ended up at a vet’s office, picking up his cat’s medicine. I returned to the office, pissed off, and told him, “I hope your cat doesn’t die.”

Ten minutes later, he walks over sheepishly, hands me a bottle of shitty wine and apologizes. Cellar No. 8. California Merlot. 2005, aged to perfection.

– Lucy Tang

 Small(ish)-town newspaper writing is inexorably absurd. My summer experiences include: riding a creaky fire-boat around Lake Erie with drunk seamen, driving 2 hours in the rain because the police in Pennsylvania cracked a case about a pizza delivery man who robbed a bank just before his head literally exploded, interviewing historical re-enactors in one of their encampments (including a man named Ghost in the Head who actually lived the life of a 19th-century Native American trapper), having another reporter violently cuss out a cop who didn’t want to tell me the name of another cop’s baby who drowned in a pool, trying to get a bunch of media-hatin’ rednecks at a freakin’ tractor pull to talk to me… Not to mention the obituaries!

…Like sand through an hourglass, such were the days of my life.

– Katie Reedy

kjk I mow greens, rake bunkers, and pick up acorns at a local country club.  I like my job, but it’s a good thing that I don’t have to interact with the club members, because it’s hard not to have open disdain for people who pay thousands of dollars a year to smoke expensive cigars while they suck at golf.

Declaration: if it is not ridiculous to casually smoke while doing something, it is not a sport. (It is important to note that the logical converse of this is not true. That would make filling your gas tank up a sport.  For something to qualify as a sport, it must be:

1.A competition that people can win and lose

2.Ludicrous to perform while smoking.)

One of the weirdest things I ever saw is one of those guys with a personal oxygen apparatus strapped to his back, out gettin’ some wind playing golf.  My reaction to this was first thinking it was kind of funny and then feeling kind of bad for thinking it was kind of funny.  Then the guy hit a bad shot and threw his club.  I stopped feeling bad at all.

– Rob Trump


My editor had a crush on the 20-year-old male intern in the office… it was really awkward…she’d ask me to facebook him so she could see his profile and at first I thought she just didn’t realize how young he was, so I said, “Oh, I already friended him and turns out he’s a junior and a journalism major.” she looked thoroughly unfazed at this remark, and the fact that he’s at least four years younger, and said, “I knew that. I already googled him.” she would also make backhanded disparaging remarks whenever I’d spend time with him, like when all the interns went out to lunch, she’d say in her mock-friendly voice, “Oooh, you’re already going out to lunch with him?”

Awkward….

– Anonymous


I worked at Central Casting, and basically all I did was look at the terrible resumes wannabe actors sent us, actors who had been in plays like “Twelve Angry Jurors” and “Joey: A Mechanical Boy.” There were so many ridiculous things people listed under the heading of “Special Skills” that I began writing them down.

My favorites include “certified tandem skydiver,” “proficient in most ball sports,” “changing water into wine (bartending),” “bourbon enthusiast,” “treasurer – $4 billion Fortune 1000 company,” “butter sculpture,” “co-writer of ’79 disco hit ‘Keep On Dancin’ and member of NYPD,” “can dance like someone who doesn’t knw how to dance,” and “reader at lighthouse for the blind.” Why would the blind need a lighthouse?

– Hillary Busis

I think the weirdest thing that’s happened to me is having my editor, Rochester ’98, friend me on Facebook.

– Anonymous 

 

kjI probably cost a local news channel several hundred dollars. We needed to find a woman to follow to the subway for a piece we’re doing on average New Yorkers’ environmental impacts. I booked the sister of a co-worker from another job because he said she took the subway to work and then I showed up at her doorstep five flights up with two unionized camera guys and the super-polished reporter, ready to do business. The woman, who turned out to be much younger than expected, was still sleeping when we arrived, and her mom came to the door (and wouldn’t even open it) to tell us the gal wasn’t getting up until noon and we should scram. After some desperate pleading from me, she got the girl in the shower. At that point, the reporter told us to cut our losses and the camera guys scoffed, still panting. I felt bad that they were all on the clock and the station was losing money, but then I realized, as an unpaid intern, I’m not even on a clock.

– Anonymous

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32 Comments

  1. Can Bwog

    do anything else than obsess over the art fag community and their petty experiences?

  2. RRRRRRR

    oh my gosh katie reedy

  3. whatever

    oh wow, how interesting.

  4. why

    did you make lydia dp's note about her editor friending her anonymous?

    • umm  

      Maybe because it's well-established that she knows how to google people?

      I don't understand what's wrong with getting cat medicine, though. It's slightly more interesting than coffee or office supplies.

  5. rjt

    Dear Katie Reedy,

    Requesting more information on man whose head exploded.

    Thanks in advance,
    The world

  6. shut up commenters

    i really liked this piece

  7. quandary

    how can i have liked this piece AND the comments?

  8. bwog commenters

    are such asses

  9. ramya

    Oh Katie Reedy.
    Buffalo = small (ish) town?

    =)

  10. also

    How did she know she was supposed to pick up the cat's medicine once she got to the address? How can you even go on an errand without knowing what you're picking up? GGAAAAHAHAH!

  11. Not BOWG staff  

    Anyone want to hear what I did this summer?

    no?

    Ok. Didn't think so.

  12. huh

    Bwog, could you maybe get other people's summer experiences?

  13. on my summer

    vacation - I worked over 50 hours per week for much less than minimum wage, fell HARD for someone 8 years my senior, and spent way too much time being the bitch of people far less intelligent and competent than myself, for free.

    • hmmm...

      where is the love, people? Is it possible for Columbians to be uncritical for, I don't know, a second of our lives? I mean, let's be honest, most people don't really want to read your hateful comments dissing bwog writers, though it does bear a certain resemblance to a hockey fight. OK, you thought a piece sucked. Nobody else cares. Move the hell on.

      • you MUST

        be kidding. "most people don't really want to read your hateful comments dissing bwog writers"

        actually, that's why we're here. the comments are more interesting than the piece, i don't know, 90% of the time. not that we don't appreciate the bwog putting this shit up for our criticism. but we don't want to read the hateful, bitter, snarky comments? oh come on...

        • I TOTALLY  

          agree with comment #33. I stopped reading the articles when "cooking with bwog" started to come out. i mean, did anyone actually read that crap? the comments are much more worth-wild.

  14. well

    all I want is to have Lydia's babies. even though i'm a guy. But I'll settle for a bwog-arranged date instead :)

  15. 19 again

    umm I didn't think it sucked. That was an actual excerpt of my life, you moron.

  16. MY summer

    was so-so.
    I started out doing nothing. I'd hit the pool or the lake. Spend all week warming up for the Sunday crossword, only to be too lazy Sunday to attempt it. Take advantage of my new hammock and fall asleep reading a good book. It was a good life.
    Then halfway through the break I remebered that way back in April, for some odd reason, I'd decided to agree to do a 2nd session internship. So starting July, I've been spending on average 60 hours a week working. As the most junior person on the team, I take crap from everyone and do their bitch work. Even the other intern (because he's an MBA intern...). When I get home, I usually have time to shower, maybe take a quick jog, and then finish up whatever project I didn't manage to get done at the office. Then I pass out and head back to work the next day. My weekends however are still nice and occupied by my activities from earlier in the summer.
    Pros: I got really relaxed the first half of summer. Got some good experience to add to my resume to get another internship next summer. Am a fucking badass with Excel now.
    Cons: Have been exposed to and now dread working in finance. Going to be burned out going straight from working to school. Found out that living in the city is a nice luxury because when you're back in the suburbs you have to worry about drinking and driving.
    Hope all's well with everyone else. Do share how/what(/who?) you're doing!

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