The Great Children’s Read

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It’s stroller gridlock on South Lawn.

Kids and parents from Park Slope to the Upper West Side have gathered in front of Butler for the New York Times‘ “Sunday of free fun for book-loving families.” It’s a day of book signings, giveaways, readings, and performances and toddlers have gathered en masse in inappropriately autumnal apparel.

Throughout the day, “notable New Yorkers” will be reading from beloved children’s book, including Stacy London (host of What Not to Wear) reading Clementine, NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly reading Green Eggs and Ham, and Blues Clues host Steve Burns reading Bud, Not Buddy. Bwog was kind of hoping for a Giuliani reading of The Lorax, but alas.

There will also be live performances from musicians and entertainers. Upon Bwog’s arrival to the fair, a man and a women took the stage in train conductor uniforms and shouted, “We’re all the same when we listen to music!” The kids nodded robotically. Bwog was slightly alarmed. We asked a little boy who the uniformed Marxists were. “Um. Choo Choo Solar,” he advised. “No, no that’s not right,” his mother interrupted. “It’s um, here,” she said as she pulled out the schedule. “Choo Choo Soul.”

Bwog began walking back towards Broadway, but Choo Choo Soul made an announcement that Cheech Marin, of Cheech and Chong, would be reading from his new children’s book Bus Driver Cheech. “You may not know who this guy is,” female member of Choo Choo Soul cautioned. “But your parents do! He’s wacky!” Perhaps the same could be said about the following act, They Might Be Giants?


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  1. stuck in butler  

    I hate babies so much right now.

  2. this is  

    absolutely ridiculous. during my time at columbia, i have never seen both lawns open to students. now, in the middle of midterm frenzy when we are all stressed and need peace and quiet, the kids invade. the lines to the bathroom and 212 are intolerable, filled with crying toddlers and their whining parents.
    utterly ridiculous.

    • prof with kids  

      I have to agree with #6 - was there for 20 minutes this afternoon with my kids and all I could think of was how trampled the lawn would be tomorrow, and how sad it wasn't college undergrads out throwing frisbee (and letting off midterm steam) who were doing it.

      Our kids were so grossed out (don't go near the "Target Bookstore") that we didn't even stay to hear they might be giants - which was to be the whole point. Ah well.

  3. hey  

    they might be giants were awesome on stage! :)

  4. A Tragedy  

    So the capital campaign is not going as well as we all thought? We have become a prostitute to the literacy machine.

  5. hmm  

    columbia's answer to birth control.

  6. BWOG!!  

    how the HELL did Julie Andrews' appearance not make the news cut??

  7. AHHH  


  8. yeah no joke  

    JULIE WALKED RIGHT BY ME! Now that is one classy broad.

    Also, I have to agree with the previous statements - I would seriously be ready to kill myself if I was in Butler today. It's the Sunday before midterms start and Columbia books this shit on the lawn? Isn't that for student use? How much money are they making off of this joint?

  9. one good thing  

    though was PANDIT THE PANDA, that's all I'm saying

  10. fuck  

    i hate all these kids. fuck off.

    why do they get to use both lawns, but not us students who pay almost $50,000 to come here. fuck off. fuck off. fuck off.

    fuck columbia.

  11. on the plus side,  

    i got a great target bag! and my face painted!

  12. meh

    I hate kids too, but you whiners sound like the real babies. I studied and had no problems and They Might be Giants was a nice ten minute diversion.

  13. lucky  

    julie andrews just gave me a bj in butler stacks. thats one classy broad.

  14. listener  

    best thing I've heard in a while:

    when asked by a small child what he favorite experience of her life was, Julie Andrews replied:

    "Well, it's like choosing one puppy out of a giant basket full of puppies."

  15. The Dink  

    yo, I love Cheech and Chong. Those guys are the best.

  16. stop hatin  

    i think these comments explain why columbia is perceived as hostile to its neighbors.

  17. please,

    please stop whining. we all have midterms. the little kids were cute.

  18. ...

    i don't have midterms.


  19. who care about

    julie andrews! apparently one of the Mowry twins made an appearance, with little brother Taj in tow.

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