Finally, a cause to rally around
Written by Bwog Staff
A motley band representing Philolexian Society cell CRUSHP (a one-syllable shortening of the Committee for Rectifying the Unphilolexian Sneaky Hipster Problem) has gathered on the Sundial and is hurling insults at passing hipsters. Hipsters, thus far, have not been too affected, because the catcalls are still quieter than the Norwegian middle school-themed songs blasting on their iPods.
For all the hipster-haters out there seeking oneliners, CRUSHP’s finer slogans include “no label, no talent!” and “their new album is better than their first!” Manhattanville expansion opponents might appropriate the chant, “What do we want? Sincerity! When do we want it? Now!” And they would surely ask CRUSHP’s permission before taking it for themselves.
In the interest of honest journalism, Bwog has been debating among itself all morning whether it has been infiltrated by too many hipsters to cover this story without bias. Indeed, Bwog may have been the target of a CRUSHPer hollering “skinny jeans reduce your sperm count.” Bwog was only semi-hurt, as this correspondent would prefer to keep her sperm count low.
More photos after the jump
Top photo, from left: “Try listening to music that is actually listenable” and “Having a bike with no brakes does not make you a badass. It makes you a tool. And an organ donor.”
Bottom photo, from left: “No, their new album is way better than their first” and “Buy CDs! not LPs!”