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A motley band representing Philolexian Society cell CRUSHP (a one-syllable shortening of the Committee for Rectifying the Unphilolexian Sneaky Hipster Problem) has gathered on the Sundial and is hurling insults at passing hipsters. Hipsters, thus far, have not been too affected, because the catcalls are still quieter than the Norwegian middle school-themed songs blasting on their iPods.
For all the hipster-haters out there seeking oneliners, CRUSHP’s finer slogans include “no label, no talent!” and “their new album is better than their first!” Manhattanville expansion opponents might appropriate the chant, “What do we want? Sincerity! When do we want it? Now!” And they would surely ask CRUSHP’s permission before taking it for themselves.
In the interest of honest journalism, Bwog has been debating among itself all morning whether it has been infiltrated by too many hipsters to cover this story without bias. Indeed, Bwog may have been the target of a CRUSHPer hollering “skinny jeans reduce your sperm count.” Bwog was only semi-hurt, as this correspondent would prefer to keep her sperm count low.
More photos after the jump
Top photo, from left: “Try listening to music that is actually listenable” and “Having a bike with no brakes does not make you a badass. It makes you a tool. And an organ donor.”
Bottom photo, from left: “No, their new album is way better than their first” and “Buy CDs! not LPs!”
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40 Comments
@Rudolf Rocker I was only wearing my 3/4-tight pants (as I was hungover) and yet still received abuse. fools! how little they know of my pants’ true width! also I offered that kid with the weird face the chance to sample my sperm in order to determine virility. apparently I can still make babies. they shall listen to scandinavian post-punk.
@Goddamn Dirty Hippie What is this bro/dude game of which you speak?
@blerg the real question is: is mr. goddamn dirty hippie a “bro” or a “dude?”
@Mr. A.F. Cookie YESSSSSSSSSS best game ever
Mr. Goddamn Dirty Hippie, in my humble estimation, is a bro with dude qualities.
@admiral meriweather The best game ever is the one where you try to pass off fake dictionary definitions as real dictionary definitions. We’ll play it after philo some time when I can more depthly explain the rules.
Also, no skull-fucking lowers your sperm-count. Being skull-fucked…might or might not.
@invisible_hand it’s called balderdash.
i have also played jastrowdash, which is the same but with the talmud.
@i think if you’re being skull fucked, you’ve got more to worry about than your sperm count. just sayin.
@Lady Pistol Whip Depending on which Mr. A.F. Cookie you are, I believe you left something in my apartment.
Jastrowdash sounds nearly as fun as winning the Jastrow Bonus, which involved candy.
@invisible_hand i have heard it called the jastrow jackpot,
and alliterative though it may be, it broke my heart.
@lordy these have to be freshmen
@Some But not all.
@noam and helenka are my heros
@Hipsters OMG no one has made fun of hipsters before!
@boring besides, you can buy skinny jeans at american eagle. or for your 8 year old sister.
making fun of hipsters is probably about as cliche as hipsters.
@Anonymous Cliche? So is not reading other comments before you make yours.
@yow Lydia can wear skinny jeans any time she wants.
@the glasses Morrissey IS the joke that isn’t funny anymore.
@out-hipstered I BOW TO THESE MASTERS OF IRONY.
@... all i could think when seeing this is that these people clearly have awesome professors who are not giving them any work…… clearly, they cannot be people from my classes
@yeah oh look i have so much damn work that i don’t have time to spend two hours not doing work on a damn weekend, i’m so fucking cool
@irony because two of the protesters were wearing skinny jeans themselves.
@yeah i think you’re on to something…
@BUT What if they were hipsters (in disguise) protesting themselves. I think that would be ironic enough for hipsters to love.
@Anonymous People who hate hipsters are hipsters themselves.
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@of course... that said, i don’t understand all the bitching about hipsters… sure it’s kind of annoying, but what would you prefer? a rave revival? ahhhhhghghghghgHGH!!
at least hipsters grow out of it. die hard ravers grow out of ravedom to become furries..
@rjt Here is my theory: hipsters are actually and unironically scared of hipsterism becoming widespread enough to be considered mainstream culture. That is the reason why you’ll almost never hear anyone but hipsters say things like, “I hate hipsters.” Most of the rest of the world doesn’t really care that much either way.
@admiral meriweather I’d like to point out that the people who saw this and IMMEDIATELY sunk their brains into theories of hipsterism need to take a long self-fuck off a short bed precariously positioned next to a cliff.
Honestly. Can’t you people have fun anymore?
@rjt I’ll get right on it, Admiral! :)
@rjt Also, you are right about Balderdash being the best game ever.
@yeah but it’s hard to tell if a person wearing tie-dye should be making fun of other peoples’ clothing.
@invisible_hand the gentleman who wears tie dye (always and forever) is known as mr. goddamn dirty hippie, and his multicoloured garments are like looking into the radiance of the sun as refracted through a prism made of pure diamond.
@some person To the poster above: quite so. In fact, watching Mr. Goddamn Dirty Hippie dance is clinically proven to be equivalent to the experience of hallucinagenic drugs.
@you've clearly never taken hallucinogenic drugs if you think they’re like watching a freshman in tiedye dance
@You've clearly never seen Mr. Goddamn Dirty Hippie dance.
@Indeed It’s almost like a Paradigm Shift…
@Obid Everyone in or around Butler at 4:15 today is now a lifetime member of the Philolexian Society!
@The King of Spain Thankfully we have purged the hipsters form my country, leaving only the swarthiest eurotrash.
@ahahahahaa Awesome. So true. Bwog, you are hipster as fuck.
@...so that was pretty great.
@CRUSHP Buy American!
Not American Apparel!