You think the world’s ending?

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B&W Literary Editor Hannah Goldfield had a free ticket to I Am Legend a couple nights ago, and recommends the experience.

iamlegendYou need a break. Seriously, there’s only so much information your brain can absorb in a day, only so many sentences it can formulate (or so I like to tell myself), and giving it a rest will surely improve its performance. So put aside those textbooks, sign out of Facebook, and take just a few hours to zone out.


I recommend heading down to Loews 84th Street (it’s really not far!) to catch the next screening of I Am Legend, the latest post-apocalyptic thriller starring everyone’s favorite alien-killer, Will Smith, appearing here as the only living boy (OK, man) in New York, and perhaps the planet.

There is absolutely nothing to think about in this movie. Once the mind-numbingly simple premise has been explained, there’s really nothing to do but sit back, relax, and succumb to the thrilling images of Manhattan sans people, of Smith glistening with sweat as he does pull-ups in his gorgeous, ENORMOUS townhouse on Washington Square, and of the most ill-conceived zombies I have ever seen. But Legend is more than just action-packed escapism–it’s also a comedy, the best kind of comedy: unintentional comedy. As the movie unfolds, it makes less and less sense, until the absurdities have piled so high it’s impossible not to laugh. How could you fall 20 feet, land on your back, and walk away unscathed? Why would anyone have a laboratory in his basement? Where did those lions come from?  We pointed out ridiculous flaws all the way to the subway, chuckling merrily, and by the time we got back to campus, life seemed a little less serious.

Remember, it’s just school.

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  1. can't take it  

    What is it with Will Smith and broken suspension bridges? Those bridges can't stand when the cables are broken...that bridge from I,Robot couldn't possibly have stood and neither can the bridge in this poster if the cables are split.

  2. well  

    1) He's Will Smith 2) He was a rich scientist 3) the zoo

  3. ok...  

    I think that's why it's NOT standing.

  4. aww  

    "Seriously, there's only so much information your brain can absorb in a day, only so many sentences it can formulate "

    Ickle Humanities major.

  5. The King of Spain

    Actually, there are a number of rich government scientists, and I mean imperial-style mansion on Foxhall road rich scientists associated with the NIH. Thanks, gene patents.

  6. This review  

    is laughable. Sure, it wasn't perfect, and there were some plot holes, but this review is so unwarranted. Bwog is just so snarky and ridiculous, and prides itself on how many nasty posts it can create-- it's like an ivy league tabloid. I thought there were some very nice touches to the movie, like the mannequins (Fred!) and Samantha (the dog).

    • Yes  

      Clearly Bwog writers just sit around all day and rub their little hands together and think of all the nice things on campus they can be nasty about. Did you not understand this review? The writer had a good time, enjoyed the film, and recommended it to others.

  7. Will S  

    I pretty strongly disagree with this review. The movie is definitely worth seeing, but not because it's farcical. It's a zombie movie, after all, so you have to expect a certain degree of implausibility. They can't create a world where zombies hide under the streets of a deserted New York City without making a few factual or logical leaps here and there. And there are a lot, and because we are Columbia students we will gleefully note each and every one. But that's not the point.

    As far as zombie movies go, this is one with much more adroit social commentary than most. Granted, the questions of religion and humanity it raises are predictable and perhaps a bit forced, but they are handled with genuine emotion. Will Smith is also pretty much out of this world—I've never seen a more sensitive, nuanced performance in a horror movie.

    On top of all that, the movie still manages to delightfully shock you out of your seat now and then. One scene filmed almost entirely in the dark comes to mind, as telltale noises and brief flashes of light keep you waiting for just the right moment, which everyone knows is inevitable and yet still makes the theatre audience jump, audibly, when it finally arrives.

    Seriously, go see this movie because it's awesome, not because it's ridiculous.

  8. Charlton Heston  

    I'll write a review using my cold, dead hands: Omega Man was much better.

  9. pete  

    They are VAMPIRES!

    at least in the book by Richard Matheson. i dunno what sort of terrible things will smith has done to the original.

  10. I'm not sure but...  

    Isn't one of our security guards an extra in that? Supposedly during the scene where they're scanning people's eyes. I haven't seen it so I don't know if it's there, but back in September he mentioned that he was.

  11. atrocious

    the decision to use cg for the "infected" resulted in laughably anonymous (read: bland) and inexplicably super-powered baddies, and the movie goes to SHIT the moment they first appear... and sinks improbably lower the moment the question of god comes into play. the first 30 minutes are neato, but no one with any decent appreciation for post-apocalyptic films could ever fully enjoy this spectacular drivel. only one thing could have possibly saved i am legend. and that, my friends, is daniel day-lewis. not sure how, but you know he could have.

  12. The author:  

    had a good time criticizing the movie at every turn to make up for the B+ she got in first semester lit hum.

  13. Alum

    The bridge in the background is not standing. The roadbed in the poster is the portion between the tower and the shore. The second tower is far beyond the left edge of the photo. And if you look closely, you'll see that the roadway has broken off near that edge.

    And the lions escaped from the zoo.

  14. aliens  

    landed on Roar-ee and the lions at the New York public library and took over their souls. Now all we need is Martin Lawrence to save the fucking day

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