Dec

16

The Terrible 12s: A Very Special Facebook Update

Written by

2012’s Facebook half-life began with Simon H.’s creation of “Columbia – Class of 2012.” Early decision applicants were notified online of their acceptance at 5pm, and by 7pm, the group’s ranks had reached 50. Mere days later, the Facebook group is brimming with 276 members—including one confused Brown 2012 pre-frosh who is “not sure if we are rivals or not.” Proud papa Simon H. has even provided a chronological history of the group’s membership:

    Dec 11. 6 members

    Dec 12. 84 members

    Dec 13. 170 members

    Dec 14. 216 members

    Dec 16. 271 members

Hot topics like senioritis (“B’s are the new A’s,” insists Kyle M.) and the swim test—Harrison S. prefers doggie paddle and prefers that you know it—fill
the group’s Wall. Discussions about dorms and drinking are good places to spot the group’s early alpha males and females. Natassia M. states that “Carman sounds like a plan” and is echoed with rallying cries of agreement and disbelief: “Carman sucks, theres throwup and shit everywhere, all the girls and ugly and the ra’s are the biggest assholes everywher,” maintained Dhruv V., who himself is actually CC ’11. Dhruv, a wizened elder and Furnald devotee is a major presence amongst 2012’s blossoming (and depressing) cyber-society.

Marginal topics like “dorms” and “academics” aside, one group of 12s wants to know: “Who says Ivy Leaguers don’t party hard?!?!?” Probably the same people who say Ivy Leaguers can punctuate!!11!eleventyone!1

The “The Columbia University Class of 2012 is Ready to Party” has a predictable agenda. “We should all meet up sometime before august… and party :) “ suggests Carolyn M.  

But no one could accuse the hard-partying 12s of not being efficient: To wit, they have an email address of the most official capacity: [email protected] You know, to fake arrange the fake partying electronically.


UPDATE 12/17:
The end… it’s near!

– JNW

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62 Comments

  1. 2012-er

    please do not equate me with these fools. i plan on creating the "Columbia 2012 is Ready to Poop" facebook group any day now.

  2. recent alum

    LOL!! awesome reporting by bwog

  3. thank god  

    i just missed the facebook-existing-when-prefrosh cutoff date. i ended up saving all that embarassment and awkwardness for ACTUAL freshman year. the nature of college is forever changed. call me an behind the times but i prefer social interaction sans-internets.

  4. also  

    you may call me a bad editor.

  5. yoo  

    that quote about getting drunk is from an 11'er, not '12

    it would be funnier if it were '12, but alas

  6. this  

    is probably the funniest thing I've ever read on Bwog. Thank you for a fantastic study break, you awesome mofos.

  7. Lycian Penguin

    A suggestion:

    -Undergraduate Admissions office sends out e-mails with decisions on December 10th or so
    -Lurks on various Facebook groups that pop up and observes the horrors
    -Burns selected admission packages and overnights the rest on, say, December 13th, as well as sending out an e-mail explaining an error in the system caused decisions to be mixed up, etc.

  8. generation ... z?

    You know, these kids are technically part of another generation. Most of them were born in, what, 1990? As an '09er and '87 baby, I shudder at the thought.

  9. results  

    this year around 2000+ kids applied ED, columbia accepted around 400 plus for SEAS and CC.

  10. wow...  

    this really made me lose all hope in the class of 2012....but hopefully they wont be as pathetic as the class of 2011.

  11. CC '12

    We're not all that bad. Just wait till next year when you get to meet us.

    Oh, and I was born in 1990. Does that make you feel old?

  12. To CC '12  

    go suck your pacifier ...

  13. kids these days  

    with their neverending lols and omgs so much so that you can't tell if they're really dumb or just being parodies of themselves. they make me feel like a crotchety old senior and proud of it.

    never before this display of wtf-ness would i think fondly of my interactions on LIVEJOURNAL or consider them particularly literate or meaningful.

    lord help us all when they enter the workforce.

  14. thank god  

    At least they're not posting SAT scores like they do over at College Confidential. Best way to lower your self esteem when SATs seemed to mean the world.

  15. 'CC 13  

    you guys haven't seen the worst shit yet...

  16. thank you bwog!  

    for making me laugh out loud!

  17. Just Wait  

    CC 2035: a mere twinkle in my eye. He will bring hellfire and destruction to this godless land.

  18. to wit  

    needs to end. dpd and this jnw have got to stop: it sounds fucking GAY.

  19. CC'12  

    IM IN UR COLLGE, LOWERIN UR STANDARDZ

  20. yes  

    Judging from the posts on the facebook group, no one in the class of 2012 knows the difference between there, their, and they're. Also how can you be born in 1990, that is horrifying!

  21. ugh....  

    Jeremy Sklaroff wrote
    at 3:59am on December 14th, 2007:

    i love to party but i dont drink

    i can get drunk off of all my friends!!!!!

  22. 2012  

    born post cold war? ew.

  23. carman is the plague  

    of course they should stay clear of carman, its a hate-crime infested homophobic, xenophobic, racist hell-hole, according to earlier reports, where, gasp, some kids write drunken messages on their dry erase boards.

  24. what's more  

    pathetic than class of 2012s facebook group is that 70% of the posts and members are from the class of 2011, and I guess it's equally pathetic that I know this.

  25. CC 2011  

    my class is so embarrassing.

  26. CC2009  

    please. was reni laine in your class?

  27. im 2009  

    and im pretty embarrassing.

  28. why

    Are so many '11ers posting on the 2012 facebook group? It's not like they have the right to be so high and mighty and mock the prefrosh after their embarassing display last year.

  29. asdf  

    i'm usually not a big fan, but very nice, bwog. this is hilarious

  30. cc08  

    CC 2008 rulez. We'll be graduating exactly 250 years after the first class of Columbia College.

  31. You know...  

    Sometimes I appreciate how a school can be so elitist that it can't even welcome its own new members.

    But sometimes I don't.

    Every class is full of idiots. Maybe if we stopped mocking entire groups of people and embraced that fact Columbia wouldn't be such a miserably depressing place.

  32. 2010  

    CC 2010 - the last bearable freshman class.

  33. i'm  

    going to make a CC'27 with a CC'12

  34. cc'10

    it isnt very nice to welcome a new class to columbia with a rant on bwog. way to be mature assholes

  35. Mark

    This article was hilarious.

  36. SEAS '12

    Ehhh all ivy leaguers are egotistical supremacists. Of course the '11's that posts stuff about squid condoms on the '12 fb group doesn't help the "We're not completely retarded ONG!! CLAZ oF '11!!!" case ;-)

  37. jubjub

    Wait what happened with Mark?

  38. '12

    I guess actually checking the group a little more closely is out of the question? The group has 300 members now and maybe 15 have mentioned drinking. Have some faith that this freshman class will be just like last year's and the year before that. We're all serious enough to have studied hard to get in.
    A few of them just think they're starting high school over again.

  39. HARVARD '10

    Well... I think all of you guys are just jealous of the Ivy League... You probably can't even get in... I'm blonde and I got in...

  40. '12

    Hey Harvard '10,
    Columbia is part of the Ivy League...

    oh, and shut up.

  41. CC'12

    The one thing the group has helped me with is knowing who not to talk to for the next four years.

  42. HARVARD '10

    Do you betches love it??

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