This one is my favorite

Written by

Sent from Lerner two hours ago, from Bwog correspondent Alex Weinberg:

dell optiplex

I was sitting in a Lerner computer lab when a slightly-past-middle-aged lady with thick reading glasses came in and stood in a corner pensively for several minutes. She approached my terminal.

Lady: Are you going to be using this computer for a while?

Me: I don’t know, I think so.

Lady: Oh, it’s just because this one is my favorite.

Me: These computers are all the same.

Lady: Mmmmm, no… I like this one the best. (said as if I should have known better) Me: (looks around the room at the completely identical and unoccupied Dell Optiplexes)

Lady: So are you going to get up?

Me: No.

She then stood over me awkwardly and passively for the next few minutes, watching what I was doing on the computer. I stopped reading web comics and opened up Microsoft Word to begin typing a fake paper because I felt intimidated in that “I just handed in a library book way past its due date” way.

Tags: ,


  1. so...

    did you have to give up the computer? You should have opened up the jester pdf and started printing out the flyers of the lick-a-chick. That's important business.

  2. is this the

    same lady who hangs out in the carman lobby for HOURS just using the computer?

    i dont know why youre giving that girl shit, all the computers actually are a little bit different. keyboard/mouse can face wear/tear i guess

    • Seriously

      Does anyone know who this is? Security, maybe once, ought to have asked for a swipe?

      • Yoda

        Hard to prevent people like this from coming into campus. If we were in the middle of nowhere, we would have no worries because there would be no one around to bother us. But since we're in...
        Well, the only imaginable solution to keep this kind of people completely out is if we made campus for Columbia affiliates only. That would be stupid. Low Plaza would be empty. The pre-K groups that play in front of Furnald would disappear. Campus would be lifeless.

  3. why  

    does weird shit like this never happen to meB

  4. weird shit happens  

    This only happens at Columbia, where we let every person and his dog in. This old woman asked me where Low Library was 'cause she had to go there to defend her dissertation when Low was RIGHT IN BACK OF ME. Then she called me a "timid creature" for hesitating. wtf.

    • CC2007

      I think that I know the old lady that you're talking about. Last year, I was getting a sandwich at Cafe 212 and she was sitting at a table next to where the forks/etc. are. She asked me for a napkin and started getting very irritated when I wasn't sure where the napkins were, lamenting and whining about the lack of a practical/common sense education at an ivy league school.

      Very strange indeed, but I guess that it's not entirely unusual to have something like that happen during your 4 years at CU.

      • hahaha perhaps

        Even if not everyone can afford a Columbia education, they can at least feel what it is to be a part of Columbia. For free.

          • Nope  

            All we have is Jeffrey Hunter Northrop.

          • hahahaha

            "Had the blog entry, which appeared on, gone unwritten, Godelia might have gone on successfully emulating the life of a typical Harvard College undergraduate. Since entering the Extension School in Fall 2005, Godelia comped the Harvard Advocate and tried to join the group planning the Evening with Champions charity figure-skating event. He hung out at Lamont Library, partied in the Quad, went to meetings of the Harvard Scandinavian society, and even attended brain break at Lowell House. "

            "“There needs to be a deeper understanding that the undergraduate population is the College and the Extension School,” Godelia said over coffee at Café Algiers, wearing a tweed jacket and a Harvard necktie. "

            "“She said Professor Unger was getting complaints from several students that I disrupt the class and make learning difficult for them,” he said. “And I was like, ‘What?’ I am one of the best students in the class. I actively participate and I bring up ideas that the professor finds intriguing and brilliant.” "

  5. umm

    is she that fat woman with the cane?

  6. coogan

    same thing happened to me in a movie theater in california. i had this great seat, and this old lady came up and made this ambiguous remark about wanting to sit on the aisle. i sort of nodded, staring at the blank screen. then she flat out said, "can i sit where you're sitting." perhaps i will forever be damned to hell, but i straight up told her no.

    let's hope i don't make it past 30 in order to avoid the inevitable karma.

  7. kudos  

    to you for saying no

  8. exactly

    these sorts of people must be stopped. i remember in middle school there was this kid who used to sit at the same seat every day at lunch, so one day i decided to jump his seat. he was like, "that's my seat," but i wouldn't relent, and he started crying. i was not moved by his tears, though he cried all through lunch. i am going to hell.


    omg jhn. the only way he could redeem his presence on butler 4 is if he took off his shirt.

    and then there's this:

  10. EAL

    I think Harvard Extension School is their version of GS.

    • it really

      is, only from what i hear, much more, anyone can get in just send us the tuition check.

      also, we have convicted sex offenders who regularly stroll campus.

    • actually

      HES and GS are nothing alike. HES is a bit like Jim Crow Harvard. You can't take the same classes as Harvard College, almost half of the faculty at HES aren't even Harvard faculty, you get a degree in "extension studies", etc.

      By comparison, GS students can enroll in just about any class open to CC ugrads at Columbia, they're a school under the faculty of arts and sciences, just like cc, and they get the same degree as cc, a BA.

      What's closer to HES at Columbia is the School of Continuing Education.

  11. Uni

    Don't forget that you need a Uni to use the computers in the lab. So unless this incident occured at one of the "5-minute" CUIT terminals, the strange woman must have some kind of Columbia affiliation.

  12. dfc

    try working at the gym. An average columbia student may have an interaction with a crazy once in their 4 years. DFC employees see crazies once a shift

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.