Written by Bwog Staff
Last night, the ESC and their political colleagues assembled for its second formal meeting of the semester. Policy, Glass House Rocks, and mystery were aplenty. Bwogger Tony Gong reports.
The meeting began unremarkably as several representatives of outside groups began to brag about all the things they had done. First up was the CC ’09 Class Council, who used the time to present its “Art of Community” campaign, which is a series of projects that aim to “utilize aspects of the vibrant culture present in our community in the form of art, and performance.” One initiative involves Columbia students attaching their crayon drawings of “personal images of Columbia” onto Low Steps, fulfilling the important two-pronged objective of community expression and community pollution. I immediately began working on my personal image, which involved PrezBo holding hands with a dinosaur in front of Hamilton Deli.
Directly following that, a student services representative insightfully explained to us that stress was “not a good thing.” To remedy student stress, the Student Mental Health Services may be installing an online forum where students reveal secrets for public display, which sounds like it will cause even more stress.
And in somewhat related news, as part of a 21st birthday campaign, students turning 21 in the following months will be receiving gifts and free dinners from Health Services. The campaign and gifts will be “alcohol-based” to “let you know what alcohol can do for you.”
Things began to heat up as the four class councils gave short presentations about their agendas: The class of 2009 revealed their plans for a Lego-Jenga-themed Glass House Rocks room, which I predict will last approximately six minutes before someone accidentally knocks something over, perhaps killing everyone in the vicinity. And while the class of 2011 had nothing of substance to say, the council dropped the fact that they had had walkie-talkies during Winter Wonderland, which is pretty legitimate.
Right before the end of the meeting, the ESC council announced that the “non-elected council members” would have to leave the room for their final point of discussion. This referred specifically to me. What exactly was the ESC hiding from a curious public?
After a sleepless night and afternoon of frustrated deliberation, I have accumulated the following theories: They have invented the technology that will finally enable my image of PrezBo holding hands with a dinosaur in front of Hamilton Deli to become reality. Or they discovered what the three-headed dog on the third floor of Lerner is guarding. Or most plausibly of all, the council—naturally all fans of the hit movie Homeward Bound— had had plans to watch Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco, which, as they discovered last night, isn’t nearly as good.