For the next two and a half hours, all Starbucks locations in the eastern U.S. will be closed. According to The New York Times, Starbucks needs the time to teach their employees new ways to use the coffee machines. Because, you know, there’s more than one. As to why this process will take a couple hours, Starbucks has remained cryptically and smugly quiet.

Meanwhile, the under-caffeinated sit patiently and wait during what is soon to be known to Blue Java employees as “the best day ever.”