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Orgo Night

 

It was just 11:35 PM when studiers started drifting into Butler 209 and perching themselves on ledges and chairs. 209ers, futility be damned, started Shh-ing the newcomers. One such 209er was one-half of Chromeo (the half that attends Columbia), though he soon made a quick exit. At midnight exactly, the spirited Columbia University Marching Band made their entrance as they played the CU fight song. Butlerites, amazingly, not only knew the words, but sung along.



The theme of the 69th Orgo Night—a performance with roots in attempts to lower the curve on tomorrow’s organic chemistry exam—was undoubtedly politics. The enthusiastic and adorable CUMB speaker began with mentions of ex-Governor Spitzer and his lady-friend Alexandra Ashley Dupre. It might have been the only time that the words “suck my own jizz” and “bareback anal sex” were uttered in Butler—inside the stacks doesn’t count. The first Barnard joke came early (pun!), as CUMB wondered why Dupre never received a scholarship to Barnard, given her mastery of whoremanship even before graduating high school. The mention of new governor and CC grad David Paterson gave way to a rendition of “I Can See Clearly Now.”

The political satire took a turn for the local as CUMB hit on student council happenings. Adopting a Michelle Diamond impression that might have been familiar to anyone who saw the V-Show last weekend, the speaker chronicled Diamond’s valiant ban-JuicyCampus-from-the-Columbia-server crusade and suggested that a place was waiting for her on Bollinger’s Free Speech syllabus. GSSC President two times removed Niko Cunningham also scored an Orgo Night mention.

CUMB also touched upon the politics of the Ivy League financial arms race, poking fun at the College Republicans, Harvard and its affinity for tweed, and Yale’s use for the skulls in the Skull and Bones house, (hint: they’re for fucking.) Princeton, on the other hand, had slightly different ideas about financial aid. And “Aid. Isn’t that what the gays get?” received about a 6:1 laughs to this-is-controversial-“oohs” ratio.

More this-is-controversial-“oohs” followed jokes about the summer Olympics and the civil unrest in Tibet and China, but CUMB received hugh laughs as Spec was forced to relive the Tibet Editorial Fact-Checking Mini-Scandal. Naturally, the band played “Build Me Up Fact-Checker.”

Jokes about the upcoming election were blissfully short and sweet, as CUMB brilliantly described the our criticism of Obama’s shying away from Columbia as actually, oddly relatable. He’s a Columbia, because just like most of us, he often doesn’t really like Columbia all that much. “He bleeds baby blue!” the CUMB speaker shouted.

An unexpected segment about crazy Yalie Aliza Shvarts (which was funny, though a few people standing around Bwog didn’t know what CUMB was talking about), gave way to the climax (pun!) of the performance: The Vag. Huge cheers at the mere mention of Barnard’s unfortunately named student center, or, as CUMB put it: “the Nexus-cum-Vag.”

What followed was a spirited, dance-y rendition of “All Along the Vagelos”. CUMB doled out some punny advice for the few students in the room who would actually be taking o-chem tomorrow, and then it was all over. The band took their exit, once again playing the fight song. Audience members began to file out too, back to the quiet recesses of Butler and Hamilton. Bwog made our leave with an orgo night novice who could not stop grinning. “This is so great! I’ve never been happier to go to school here!” she said. The smile suddenly disappeared. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

– JNW

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25 Comments

  • anon says:

    @anon Is that Tie-Dye Joe in the background of the second picture?

  • this says:

    @this is why I study in my room

    1. random says:

      @random lighten up

  • aaaah!! says:

    @aaaah!! bwog, most of the links lead nowhere! i need to procrastinate by following links that will let me read useless information that i already know about! please fix the links!

    if you don’t i don’t blame you. it’s probably better for both of us.

    1. Juli says:

      @Juli Should be fixed now, thanks!

      1. all except the says:

        @all except the Chromeo link…which is the only one i cared to read! GAAAA!

        procrastination!

  • oh wait nevermind says:

    @oh wait nevermind it;s fixed. damn im pathetic.

  • The King of Spain says:

    @The King of Spain There sure is a lot of Philo in that first picture.

    1. Funny... says:

      @Funny... I haven’t seen any pictures disclosing the whereabouts of the members of Philo on 9/11/2001.

      Just a coincidence, I suppose.

  • john locke says:

    @john locke is it still 325 degrees in 209? do people really not know how to turn on the air conditioners against the wall? you people can solve the most challenging problems in all of academe, but you can’t figure out how to operate a thermostat.

  • 911TRUTH says:

    @911TRUTH WHERE WAS NEIL FLANAGAN? WHY WONT HE ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS?

  • window sill guy says:

    @window sill guy you could also just open the windows. it was delightfully cool in my section of 209. Plus it’s more environmentally friendly. Damn the guards for making me come down.

  • dear jnw says:

    @dear jnw I think you missed the fact that every semester is the 69th semiannual Orgo Night. For example, http://www.cumb.org/scripts.php?script=24556
    Bwog should go back to live-blogging next time. It’s funnier and errors are more forgiveable.

  • Fuckers says:

    @Fuckers Gotta say, I love Orgo night in Butler, but I hated it at 1:30 in the morning when they got to Wien. That shit is loud as fuck. I was seriously about to throw a brick out the window when they kept waking me up. It was annoying because they’d play one song as loud as they could, and then they’d quiet down for a few minutes and talk or something, and I’d drift back to sleep, calmly thinking “Oh, it’s just orgo night…let them have their fun” before I’d be rousted awake yet again with a blast of bloody-lipped brass — and this happened at least four times! So yeah, not cool.

    1. dude says:

      @dude get over yourself. you knew it was gonna happen, didnt you?

  • XXX says:

    @XXX Superman those Hos!

  • baa says:

    @baa is that the back of kate redburn’s head?

  • actually says:

    @actually I hear some people were throwing raw eggs out of Wien at the band. Why are people in that housing so uptight?

    1. Er, says:

      @Er, They got stuck in Wien, that’s why?

  • i miss says:

    @i miss throwing toilet paper at them from the barnard quad. summer camp!!

  • Security Guard says:

    @Security Guard At the exit, when the crowds are pushing out the side exit of Butler:

    “Ah don’t know the fuck all these kids are here for…”

  • Ado Nolan says:

    @Ado Nolan The President and Overlord of Afghanistan has denied the presence of Neil Flanagan in the country’s glorious cave resorts, which inclue the ever popular Stalagmite Spa.

  • invisible_hand says:

    @invisible_hand a hearty congratulations on framing a set of fine, toned philolexian asses.
    hotttttttt.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous What about the innertube somebody threw out the window at Barnard? Was I the only person who saw this? so weird…

    1. i saw it too! says:

      @i saw it too! it was random and hilarious.

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