Dec

10

LitHum Study Guide: Helpin’ Out the 12s

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Bwog remembers its very first final exam as a first-year.  As a service to our youngest readers, Bwog staff and friends have compiled summaries of Lit Hum books…in limerick form!  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s very special CC study guide.

homerThe Iliad

Achilles, the raging Achaean,

Agamemnon’s war plans was derailin’.

For the city of Troy,

And for Helen, a ploy

With a horse was the Greek soldiers’ way in.

The Odyssey

After Troy, brave Odysseus wandered,

Adventured and tarried and pondered,

Saw Calypso and Cyclops

‘Pon Ionian outcrops,

Thence home ere Pen’s honor was squandered!

The Histories

Father of history, Herodotus

Wrote of wars, and lies and lust:

“Gyges ruled,

Scythians were cruel,

But remembering human achievement’s a must.”  

Medea

Jason was not a good guy.

To Medea he had said goodbye.

So you know what she did?

She killed all her kids

And then she flew off in the sky. 

Lysistrata

Of war all Greek women had tired,

So together they met and conspired.

They knew what men wanted,

So their husbands they taunted:

“For sex, complete peace is required.” 

Symposium

Some hung-over Greeks had doubt

Over what love was all about

Was virtue correct?

Or trading wisdom for sex?

But “Forms!” was Socrates’ cop-out.

 

Old Testament (Two verses for the price of one!)

When God said “let there be light”

He showcased all of his might.

He plagued Pharaoh with flies,

Made the Red Sea dry

And then gave Job quite a fright

Job and job are capitonymic words

Like Polish and polish, or Herb and herb

And though this doesn’t have much to do

With the story of that unfortunate Jew

It does make the story a little absurd

New Testament

So God was feeling frisky,

decided to be a bit risky.

Got in bed with Mary

of course he did not tarry!

You know the rest of the story.

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23 Comments

  1. anon  

    silence must give pause
    to this peace we must all give our awes
    not sure how much studying this will cause
    but please, all, show them our applause.

    -to homer (one man or a group of men? hrmmmm)

  2. Alum

    The meter in these poems totally sucks.

    Also, the last line of every limerick needs to be "and if my ear was a cunt, i would fuck it."

  3. Stupid Alumni  

    I know the economy has hit you guys hard, but seriously, are you guys so bored that you spend the day browsing bwog. I have an excuse... it's finals season!

    • Silly Rabbit  

      Yeah I seriously can't see the alumni title without going "woah...sad". You've presumably graduated from an ivy league college. Now I know you're not a multi-millionaire or executive but shouldn't you...yknow...have a life?

      Or are we supposed to be impressed with you that you spent so much money on your undergrad education to...bitch about freshman exam poetry on a blog? (I mean really)

  4. now this...  

    ... is what i call a good use of time spent procrastinating...

    kudos bwog.

  5. scared freshman  

    really, thanks :)

  6. that  

    .. was really cute actually haha

  7. sophomore  

    can the CC study guide actually be legit because i have not done any of the readings all semester because i've been on bwog and could really use it!!!

    k thanks!

  8. Studious Freshman  

    The Trojan Horse is not in the Iliad, bwog! It's described at the beginning of the aeneid. Are you trying to gtet us 2 fail?

  9. Cubmail  

    Is anyone else having trouble with Cubmail? There's nothing in my inbox, or any other folder...

  10. Yay  

    This is awesome bwog.

  11. sophomore  

    when was this!?!?!?!

  12. also sophomore  

    And who was giving these things out?

  13. JOB  

    Job wasn't a Jew, Bwog! He was from Uz! Come on!

  14. LOLZ  

    BWOG = BIBLE NOOBZ

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