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Bwog’s New Year Resolutions

With the New Year just under ten hours away (for East Coasters), Bwog waves goodbye to 2008. If you’re around New York, and enjoy a big party, there’s always the Times Square celebration (where police expect a million people this year). 

We have already written our year in review, but the new year also brings yet a round of things to be forgotten – New Year’s Resolutions. We have compiled our own list of resolutions, and encourage you to add your own (or, of course, ridicule ours) in the comments. Happy New Year!

  • Actually pay attention to the “difficulty” part of CULPA ratings.
  • Keep a regular gym schedule during exam period
  • Read at least one book for fun.
  • Finish at least one seminar book.
  • Wean myself off of Gchat.
  • Figure out how to sync my Google Calendar to my phone, and actually use it
  • Learn to ride my bike on the street, not illegally on the sidewalk
  • Increase the ratio of homemade coffee to coffee I buy
  • Visit friends at other schools more often (corollary resolution: actually keep in touch with friends at other schools)
  • Not work on a Friday night.
  • Brush daily
  • Go to a concert (free or otherwise) once a week
  • Be active in all of my classes
  • Write 1 paper at least 2 days before it is due
  • Get a summer job before spring break
  • To spend less money on dispensable goods – i.e. coffee, diet coke, cabs, booze, cigarettes
  • Skype more and facebook less
  • Take up swimming
  • To be on time, to do my homework, to clean my dorm and do my laundry once a week, and to practice what I preach
  • Leave Morningside Heights more
  • Stop complaining about taking the subway on weekends
  • Work in places that arent butler
  • Watch more TV
  • Stop talking about how much I work all the time
  • No more passive aggression 
  • Go to >80% of my classes
  • Go to every institution made free by my Columbia ID that I haven’t been to yet
  • Go to Orgo Night, 40s on 40 unless it sucks, and at least one entire sports game
  • Play more frisbee
  • Get a job
  • Learn the name of the sweet lady who cleans Claremont
  • Do as well in engineering classes as in humanities classes
  • Actually read The Economist the week each issue is published
  • Prove that Columbians aren’t too neurotic for relationships
  • Rotate the libraries I study in so friends can’t find/interrupt me
  • Make an effort to understand football
  • Make progress in my research project
  • Manage my time more effectively (get at least one physics problem set done early)
  • Attend more office hours
  • Check cell voicemail within than two days of receiving a message
  • Learn the password to ROLM voicemail (so I can listen to the message that’s been there since orientation)
  • Keep in touch with my high school friends
  • Call my parents and grandparents more often
  • Spend less time on calls that have automated prompts
  • Travel to the other boroughs more often
  • Learn the names of all the people who live on my floor
  • Win an entire poker match, not just a couple of hands
  • Write more for personal enjoyment
  • Master the mystery of the Broadway-facing Lerner turnstile
  • Maintain a normal, healthy sleep schedule
  • Fold and hang up laundry after removing from the dryer rather than using the “giant, wrinkled pile” method of clothes organization
  • Hire a private investigator to find out my Calculus III grade
  • Get up earlier than 11am
  • Start projects before 3am on the day they’re due
  • Floss daily

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  • actually says:

    @actually use my refrigerator for more than beer.

  • ph.hello.there says:

    @ph.hello.there My personal favorite? “Master the mystery of the Broadway-facing Lerner turnstile.” PERFECTION.

    …hahaha thanks Bwog, this was fantastic slash hilarious, keep up the great work in 2009!

  • OH MY GOD says:


  • prophecy says:

    @prophecy My New Year’s resolution,

  • WOOWOO says:


  • runner says:

    @runner Or you could just run faster. Try running 6 miles at a 5:30 pace. It’ll probably burn you out more than your usual workout and take up less time too. Besides, other than long distance running, what sport really requires you to run at a slow pace for an hour? Be quick people.

  • resolution says:

    @resolution try to stop smoking cigarettes by not using them as an emotional crutch when stressed.

  • william says:

    @william love fallows, hate the economist, love that fallows hates the economist, hate that i am in a way replicating the self-indulgent logic that undergirds the economist’s disproportionate circulation numbers and general esteem

  • try not to says:

    @try not to have sex with people whose names I don’t know.

    1. I'm just says:

      @I'm just going to ask first.

  • Try to... says:

    @Try to... stop complaining about Columbia. Its really not thaaaat bad.

  • My Resolution says:

    @My Resolution -Date a CC girl, and time permitting, a SEAS girl.

  • i'm going to says:

    @i'm going to do stuff. other than going to parties in claremont that suck. we live in new york city for christ’s sake

  • Who the hell... says:

    @Who the hell... …needs a resolution to brush daily?


  • Resolution says:

    @Resolution Spend less time reading Bwog comments.

    1. 25 in reply to 13 says:

      @25 in reply to 13 yeah

  • classes says:

    @classes has bwog done a feature on “the courses you should take before graduating”?

  • CULPA says:

    @CULPA • Review my professors–all of them– on CULPA.

  • brushing teeth says:

    @brushing teeth i thought i was the only one who didn’t brush twice a day!

  • seconded says:

    @seconded this is true.

  • TRUTH says:

    @TRUTH RE: broadway-facing lerner turnstile

    swipe your CUID only when the sensor stops flashing.

    mystery solved.

    1. also says:

      @also pull the turnstile the other way and it’ll reset. It’s also less douche-y as it encourages people to actually alternate entering and leaving lerner, which goes much faster than waiting for the light to stop.

      1. wrong says:

        @wrong you have to wait for the light to stop flashing. the only thing that turning the turnstile does is buy time for the thing to reset, but it has the same effect as just waiting.

        but i do agree, let people out while you wait.

    2. Nope, says:

      @Nope, I’ve tried this many times. However, that does seem to work when I watch other people doing it. It is quite possible that the turnstile just doesn’t like me.

  • Happy new year! says:

    @Happy new year! to the students not living in the US, as well. I rang in 2009 a good seven hours ago.

  • booze says:

    @booze is not dispensible.

    and who doesn’t brush daily? yuuck

  • good website says:

    @good website save yourself from automated prompts:

  • marcia says:

    @marcia is adorable! I love her!

  • i hate all of you... says:

    @i hate all of you... people who go to the gym for 2 weeks because of a stupid new years resolution, you clog up the gym and most of you will give up anyway

    1. AMEN says:

      @AMEN And if you’re under the age of 30, you have no excuse to be WALKING on a treadmill. And the next time you try to kick me off mine when I’m on mile six, I will hurt you.

      1. omg says:

        @omg you are so awesome you run 6 miles! respect the time limits and other people’s work out needs. I hate people like you who plan on taking more than their allotted time. So disrepectful. Join another gym or run outside if you are so intense about your work out that you can’t respect the rules of dodge.

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous Thank you, thank you #24… Well said! Dodge is a great space, but we all need to show a bit more respect for one another there. Remember my mantra: the point of going to the gym is to build strength and good health, NOT to show it off!

  • marcia says:

    @marcia is the awesome Claremont custodian.

  • Laundry says:

    @Laundry “Fold and hang up laundry after removing from the dryer rather than using the “giant, wrinkled pile” method of clothes organization”

    I’ve been doing this since middle school and it’s worked just fine, thanks.

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