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Fireside Chat: PrezBo Consoles the Weary

The Fireside Chat, a chance to sort of meet and sort of greet President Bollinger, is offered every semester to the entire undergraduate student body. Only about 30 students are (randomly, with control of the number of students representing each school) selected to attend this quasi-intimate two-hour session in the presidential mansion, at 60 Morningside Drive, which stands like an elegant footman in the behemoth shadow of Wien.

Indoors, an eager staff of security guards, caterers, and public relations types milled among high-rolling undergraduates in collared shirts and high-heeled shoes, who snacked on chocolate-covered strawberries, fingerling potatoes, and a rather sickly-tinged hot cider.

CCSC President George Krebs strolled in a few minutes after six, gabbing with Kevin Shollenberger, the Dean of Student Affairs for CC and SEAS. He then swiftly wrapped an arm around Scott Wright, the Vice President for Student and Administrative Services. Natassia Miller, CC’12, admitting she had signed up for the chat just to meet PrezBo, saw the event as an optimal networking opportunity. “Columbia is a great place to connect with as many people as possible,” she explained.

Back on our pre-frosh campus tours, perhaps we had all concocted that same fantasy of buddying up with our University’s president at a Fireside Chat. That, of course, was before we were Columbians. Columbians all, we moved from the eating room to the chatting room, and the three front row seats closest to PrezBo remained unfilled. Most seemed to agree that that level of contact would have been, you know, awkward.

Regardless of the distance from which one sat, PrezBo looked lovely. Remarkably trim for a man of his age (62), he wore dark corduroys and a soft yellow V-neck sweater with the sleeves rakishly cuffed. He spoke in a soft voice guarded from hoarseness by the two Pellegrinos at his side.

On to all that was said. PrezBo began by acknowledging the need to combat “the rumors—not true—that Columbia is taking over the world,” what with the recent success of alums Barack Obama, Eric Holder, and David Paterson. He also patted all us young people on the back for our discovery of a generational identity and an assumption of influence and responsibility in politics and community.

But his focus on current events was not all congratulatory. Of the recession, he earnestly implored that “I would really like to hear—I need to hear—how you really feel.” So he continued: “Were you thinking about a financial career? And then, in the past two to three months, that changed? And now you want to be an artist, maybe a novelist?”

He conceded that the endowment is down but insisted that “we’re doing fine in fundraising,” and have raised more than we had at the same time last year. He also assured the audience that “we go out of business before we stop need-blind admissions.” The first question, of course, came from a plucky GS student, who pointed out that the University was doing good business with just the opposite policy in her college. The next questioner also inquired why Columbia costs so much, estimating that each class session he attends costs him $200.

Prezbo responded in polite, brief niceties, then seized a muddled question about his vision for the University’s future to initiate discussion of Manhattanville on his own terms. Lamenting that “Columbia is so out of space, it’s ridiculous,” he recalled the school’s 19th century space crunch on its Midtown campus, then proceeded to list all the new institutes—primarily devoted to the life sciences and the study of globalization—that will find a home on the Manhattanville campus.

He also disclosed plenty about the University’s plans for global expansion. First, he explained that Columbia isn’t opting to follow other schools in establishing satellite locations in the regions (the Emirates and Singapore) that will pay a university to do so. Instead, Columbia will build “offices around the world that facilitate research in those regions on real issues.” Such offices are planned in Amman, Delhi, Sao Paolo, Dar-es-Salaam, and beyond, and will allow students for whom a semester abroad is “too great a commitment” to study in foreign countries for trips as short as a week.

Several mumbled questions about online classes, the World Leaders Forum, and the possibility of establishing internships exclusively for students receiving financial aid were basically brushed over. One SEAS senior inquired, vaguely, about PrezBo’s managerial style.

“The idea of being boss is kind of overrated,” he conceded. “Look at what our great alum and trustee Vikram Pandit is dealing with at Citi.” He painted himself as an innocent, having tumbled from a sabbatical in Strasbourg almost without effort into the work of administrating universities. He encouraged a little more opportunism in his audience, though.

“There’s still a lot of food,” he reminded us. “You should all fill your pockets.”

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27 Comments

  • not free speech says:

    @not free speech “welfare queens and homeboys” has OBVIOUS racial implications. If Bwog does not want to encourage the spread of racist thought they will DELETE IT.

    1. yes free speech says:

      @yes free speech What planet do you live on where blogs have a policy of deleting racist comments that aren’t profane or graphic?

  • if bwog says:

    @if bwog is being truly uh…PrezBoian (PrezBoan?), they’ll keep all these (similarly ridiculous) comments in the interest of freedom of speech. You know, the marketplace of ideas and all.

  • bwog says:

    @bwog i’d say the comment above me is worthy for deletion

    1. Ridiculous says:

      @Ridiculous And the one saying Prezbo deserved to be assaulted isn’t?

  • 2150 says:

    @2150 good chat, prezbo, good chat.

  • he definitely says:

    @he definitely deserves that shit for uprooting harlem residents and businesses.

    1. Wow.... says:

      @Wow.... You probably were one of the “special kids” in high school — that is, if you even got that far.

      Scum.

      1. I agree says:

        @I agree If you criticize the social effects of gentrification you are both cognitively disabled and moral scum. Well put.

        1. Socrates says:

          @Socrates You weren’t merely criticizing the social effects of gentrification, you coy dumbfuck. You were saying that Prezbo deserved to be physically assaulted, which is simply unacceptable. Your criticism, if it can even be called that, was nowhere close to being valid. If you do go here, which I guess is possible, then the admissions office clearly made a mistake.

          Furthermore, I personally can’t wait to see all the welfare queens and homeboys kicked the fuck out of Manhattan. New York is, in many ways, the financial and cultural capital of the world, and we should not have subsidized housing on some of the most prime real estate on Earth. In its current state, Harlem is, in fact, the very opposite of culture. It may have had it decades ago, but almost none of it remains. It is a hellhole full of drug abuse, gang violence, poverty, and ignorance. There are of course hard working people in Harlem, but by and large the place is one giant turd.

          1. get out of nyc says:

            @get out of nyc obviously not from here. get the fuck out. and if you are from here, then jesus christ you must have been one motherfucking sheltered trust fund baby.

          2. good argument: says:

            @good argument: ‘your argument is not valid’- well reasoned and supported. Oh. I suppose you did offer this particularly enlightened rationale: ‘All of Harlem is one giant turd’

          3. since says:

            @since you go to Columbia, you probably haven’t been north of 125th. There’s more community in Harlem than there is in Morningside Heights. Oh yeah, and have you heard of the Morningside gym? You must have thought it was a good idea. Moron.

            1. well... says:

              @well... the Morningside Gym WAS a good idea. it would have provided a FREE community facility in a location that is NEVER used for human activity. The current “pond” in Morningside is actually the foundation of the gym.

            2. EAL says:

              @EAL The Morningside Gym was indeed a great idea. I still think we should try to build it. Lord knows it would be better than the glorified high school gym that Columbia now uses for basketball. Hopefully we’ll see some sort of athletics center in Manhattanville.

              And could you tell me what criteria you use to say that Harlem has more “community?” What exactly does “community” mean to you, anyway? Does it carry racial implications? By the look of some of these comments, it certainly seems to. I think this word has been bastardized by urban activists and developers so that its original meaning has been completely obscured. Much of the place is economically depressed. Gentrification only brings prosperity to a neighborhood, and I think that the Manhattanville project will be a positive development for the area north of 125th St, considering the current economic state of the place.

          4. cool story bro says:

            @cool story bro internet trolling at its finest

    2. yup says:

      @yup he really does. He should have done it sooner. Maybe we’d have had better psychiatric research to have taken care of the nut job who whacked him down, and frankly could have seriously hurt anybody who happened to have been in Central Park.

  • yo says:

    @yo That is my favorite picture of Prezbo ever

  • grammarian says:

    @grammarian BWOG should check for typos. and sentence fragments. and other mishaps of a grammatical nature.

    1. commentors says:

      @commentors should point out mishaps of a grammatical nature, so they may be HAPPED

    2. SERIOUSLY says:

      @SERIOUSLY who wrote this? there are grammar errors EVERYWHERE!

  • Prezbo says:

    @Prezbo used the same joke about taking food when he invited our freedom of speech class over for a reception next week.

    1. Oh no! says:

      @Oh no! He’s turning into Oliver Sacks!

  • Ah! says:

    @Ah! Naked Run!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous oh noes!

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