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AltSpec: While You Were Away

Classes “begin” in a few days, figuratively because a few of Bwog’s have already been canceled for CC’83 Awesomeness Festivities.  But your fair university didn’t get nearly as much sleep as you did over break.  Here’s what Alma Mater’s been up to.

People of Old

Alumni provide proof that we’ll all find jobs, eventually.  In the meantime, buff your resume with good deeds for the UN, or fulfill your second grade dream and work for the circus (Bwog is jealous of the latter grads).  If the arts are your thing, you could end up guiding an opera company or debuting at Sundance.

People of New

The good times might be few years away, but you can still relish your present hell situation in this (frigid) town.  Alex Gross, CC’11, came here for football and was profiled by his local paper.  The Dayton Daily News mentions “learning how to get around the city by subway” as one of the things he has managed to pick up.  And how to stand on line, instead of in line.  Four other Columbians were recently profiled in The New York Times.  A few years ago, they formed the Columbia Ballet Collaborative after, you know, “juggling calculus, molecular biology and Hindi-Urdu” and the other cool things college kids do.  Representing straight-laced, conscientious Butler residents everywhere, one student assured the reporter “I never take drugs.”

La Recherche

As it turns out, you can blame your parents for the ills that have befallen you since leaving home.  You can also blame our faculty for not working hard enough when the GW Bridge finally collapses.  And, for two fewer things to worry about, Columbia is trying to find out whether that tsunami a few thousand years ago actually happened and what to do with those pesky drunks who fall on the subway tracks and delay our Met visits.


Yeah, we’re still bitching about the endowment.  Fortunately, we didn’t lose any with Madoff, and (but?) NYU didTime magazine noticed the ROTC debate and CityRoom is still thinking about 1968.

Photo by Anish Bramhandkar

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