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I, You Know, Can’t

Daughter of Camelot Caroline Kennedy officially withdrew her bid for Hillary Clinton’s senate seat around midnight last night, ending her bungled campaign of not answering questions and irritating verbal tics. The Kennedy camp has not answered any questions about the unexpected move (see previous sentence), but the New York Times and the NY Post are offering conflicting explanations. The Times claims Uncle Ted‘s health was the reason, and the Post posits that Caroline discovered Paterson was not going to select her and so dropped out.

Paterson has said he will announce his pick this Saturday, and, though he is not a top contender, the Bwog is still rooting for Daniel O’Donnell, our Morningside Heights Assemblyman, who met with Paterson to discuss the job. If he wins, maybe his magic will rub off on us too!

Kennedy’s surprise retraction makes the tumultuous race to win the governor’s appointment, already clouded by the greed of a certain coiffure-troubled governor, even more chaotic. At least take heart that our senator won’t be Roland Burris.     


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  • Whats says:

    @Whats wrong with burris? Great guy despite blago being a very typical Illinois politician. Damn elitist bwog east coasters

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous His children are named Roland II and Rolanda.


    2. au contraire says:

      @au contraire How about pursuing capital murder charges (i.e. the death penalty) against a man so widely believed to be innocent that several high ranking prosecutors resigned in protest?

  • why is says:

    @why is caroline kennedy so wrinkly? isn’t she too young for that?

  • Wow says:

    @Wow That is sick. Burris is dead wrong in this for the manner in which he didn’t reject the offer until the firestorm had subsided. This only corroborates Dianne Rehm’s opinion that an ethical, non-self interested man would have held off.

  • Alum says:

    @Alum Caroline Kennedy graduated from the law school in 1987. This seems like something the post should have mentioned.

    1. characters says:

      @characters Yes. I find it highly improbable that she isn’t a woman of intellect. She just didn’t know how to project it, or how to convey a passion for the job she was seeking, and that’s her fault. It’s a true shame. In my opinion, Hillary Clinton didn’t have one qualification that Caroline Kennedy lacked.

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