John Jay Carpet Caper Flummoxes Freshmen

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 Photo by Jon Hill

A Bwog tipster has sent in a report of dastardly doings in John Jay.

Last Monday, unsavory characters entered the 10th floor lounge and made off with an 8-by-10-foot flokati rug.  JJ10ers point out that “the carpet is extremely heavy,” making it difficult to move very far or very fast, and considering the rug looks like a prop from a Liberace TV special, it’s also rather conspicuous.

Though the freshmen congratulate the Carpet Caper mastermind on the fiendishly filched furry fabric, they also really want their rug back.

“We are not fucking around,” reads one wanted poster in the dorm.

This sounds serious, so please send any information regarding the rug or those holding it hostage to bps2112@columbia.edu or jac2255@columbia.edu or telephone (832)-366-4074 or (203)-285-4346.  If you fear the wrath of 2012, you can also email tips@bwog.net; we don’t bite.

Photo by Jon Hill

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  1. I want to know  

    how many poor tauntauns were sheared to create that rug in the first place.


  2. JJ6  

    Someone/people took away our ugly couch and traded it with two uglier chairs. They aren't even armchairs. Asses.

  3. ...  

    I'm not giving it back. I like it. It really brings my room together, plus it's soft.

  4. well  

    why wait to alert public safety? first of all what can they do and secondly youd want to give the thief as little time as possible to get rid of it/get away with it/hide it right?

  5. sos  

    they also appear to have stolen the octopus.

  6. that rug  

    realy tied the room together dude.

  7. why

    After being pissed, vomited and sexually "purified" with love juices that rug needed to go.

  8. noo  

    how about not putting your allergenic, ugly crap in the COMMON lounge

    admittedly it's not as bad to put stuff in the lounge than it is to steal stuff from the lounge, but either way both actions are incorrect

  9. i know  

    who has it. they actually live in wallach, but i can't say anymore than that.

  10. Ahhh

    I remember my freshman year when someone stole a suite armchair (we found it on the side of the street, no there were no bedbugs). We managed to track it down by a simple run through of Wallach. Then we spent a few hours watching the suite and asking some questions...long story short, we stole the toaster of the person who took it. Nothing makes toast more delicious than a thick spreading of vengeance.

  11. and  

    youre out of your element

  12. Important  

    So the rug was initially taken out of someone's room without their knowledge as a prank and it was gone from the lounge within 24 hours. The owner of the expensive rug is pretty bummed. The pranksters feel very guilty and all around it is just a bad situation. If you know who has the rug, please send an anonymous email to the people on the flier, because it's pretty awful that friendships on JJ10 are being affected by someone thinking that they are funny.

  13. or. .  

    whoever stole the rug coud just put it back in the lounge in the middle of the night and not get in trouble for it

  14. Tool

    That's what you are. Whoa, The person just told a story and you try to act like some superior being. You fail at life and are out of your element among normal people. Go back to trying to one-up people in Lit Hum.

  15. the

    rugmunchers eated it =X

  16. Don't worry Donny

    these men are nihilists.

  17. Anonymous  

    the biggest tool is the person who gives a shit about this even if it does not affect him/her directly.

  18. llc ftw  

    hahah anyone else see the llc newsletter in color underneath it?

  19. urg  

    stop posting if you dont know anything about this and do the homework you're supposed to be doing.

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