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Donate to Senior Fund, or Your Life Will Suck

Earlier today when the entire senior class opened an email entitled �How to increase the value of your diploma and not spill your beer,� they found a link to a most ridiculous YouTube video produced by Senior Fund.

The video chronicles the misfortunes of Mitch, the student full of excuses not to donate to Senior Fund. Mitch is followed by over-the-shoulder readers as he attempts to read the Iliad (as all students must in their senior year at Columbia) and can’t get through the locked door to the Bulter stacks because (as the sign says) learning is for generous souls only.

Mitch is even denied a frat boy beer to match is bro haircut and dirty t-shirt.  In the last scene he pours (ahem, spills) a lot of beer on himself while a student who has donated pours herself a Natty Ice in a sophisticated tapered �Senior Fund 09� beer glass. Of course, all those who have donated to Senior Fund wear little printed tags to designate them as such.

As if the original footage isn�t goofy and awkward enough, incredibly low-tech black and white �did you know�� fun-facts screens appear in between scenes. Of course, one reminds viewers that the 1$ you are encouraged to donate to Senior Fund will help offset the dip in Columbia�s endowment.

Bwog would be fascinated to know how many of you are more likely to donate to Senior Fund now that you have been duly threatened with beer-spillage.

– ECS

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18 Comments

  • 1iyih says:

    @1iyih first

  • whatchu talking bout says:

    @whatchu talking bout i’m a cc senior and i didn’t get this e-mail.

  • oh man says:

    @oh man I am a big fan of youtube videos, and so of course I clicked this, hoping to see other clever columbia students doing funny and clever things that also promote something stupid.

    Then I watched it. I didn’t understand its purpose.

  • bitter says:

    @bitter I’ve already donated $180,000 into the “Being a Second Semester Senior” Fund, so no, a poorly produced youtube video isn’t going to convince me to give more money to this university.

    1. ditto... says:

      @ditto... send a message by boycotting senior fund!

      Maybe then the administration will realize how their bullshit policies eliminate any sense of school spirit.

  • I'm not says:

    @I'm not Anything fun that I’ve ever done at this university has been somehow in some violation of columbia’s risk mitigation program for itself. From parties to clubs to improving my living space, everything has somehow been in violation of columbia policy.

    when columbia starts supporting it’s students instead of ensuring it isn’t liable for anything, I’ll start supporting columbia.

  • Donate to Senior Fund says:

    @Donate to Senior Fund and all you can afford is shitty beer? Thats what I got from this.

  • they made says:

    @they made another video i think

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMil-iXPJKY

    1. very nice says:

      @very nice but no one is questioning how awesome Columbians are, or the great work some Columbia students do, or how generous the alumni are, or how nice academics at Columbia is. We build friendships and create student groups and succeed in spite of SDA, Reslife, and Student Services, not because of them. I am light blue, but you are doing your very best to take that away from me.

      1. ... says:

        @... seriously?

        1. yes says:

          @yes seriously.

          And #13, I doubt that was for the Senior Fund, since some of those people in the video aren’t seniors.

          1. oh no says:

            @oh no I mean that’s how I would do the senior fund video. I could come up with a way to do the other random video that I couldn’t get through, but I would probably just get bored thinking about that video in any way, even to make fun of it.

    2. youtube fan says:

      @youtube fan well, this video might be worse than the other one. Wait, no it’s not, but it’s still stupid and bad. cleverness is like, lost in these kids.
      people do not care about phony promotions, they care about poop and babies and beyonce, and it’s really cool if you can use all three at once in a video. So like….your poop won’t be crazy cause they’ll pay someone to stop putting laxatives in john jay food if you donate to senior fund. babies will smile if you donate to senior fund. and then beyonce has to make a guest appearance at the end because she’s so proud of everyone who donates to senior fund. that would make a much better video about senior fund. and I’d totally donate then. If I were in charge of senior fund, they’d probably get way more funding is all I’m sayin…

  • Not Donating says:

    @Not Donating You give a group of students the time and money to go around getting fellow students to donate a mere $1 to some relatively worthy cause, you better be able to get at least an 86% participation rate. If the Senior Fund chronies devoted the same time and effort into asking for 1$ donations to get 40s on 40 reinstated, to give students more access to the lawns, or to fix a whole host of other bad aspects about Columbia it would probably happen in at least half the time it takes the Senior Fund each year to set its new super participation rate. Give me a break.

  • really? says:

    @really? girl in beer pouring scene: epic fail on the beer pour.

  • 35% of says:

    @35% of all the tuition that fully paying students pay goes to funding the financial aid of the students who get free rides. True story. Check out something called a “discount factor”

    In other words your tuition pays for other people’s eduction too. Don’t your parents feel happy that they are paying for another student as well?

    1. percents says:

      @percents That is nice. Except for the fact that some of the fully paying students likely spend a disproportionately larger fraction of their means on tuition than some of those that receive some aid– a disparity to which the discount inevitably adds.

  • A generous person says:

    @A generous person You can donate to Senior Fund and direct your money to financial aid, which is what I did.

    Still, if not for the War on Fun, I would be donating a great deal more.

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