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Groundhog Predicts Six More Long Weeks of Winter

As the revelries in Pittsburgh died down last night, a crowd of 13,000 gathered 65 miles northeast of the Super Bowl champions’ city to wait for the groundhog Punxsutawney Phil to predict how longer the winter will last. If the groundhog does not see its shadow, myth has it that spring will come early, an event that has only taken place 15 times since 1887. Sadly, the massive rodent cast a shadow and thus unknowingly predicted that winter will last another six weeks.

Bwog is wary of daring to question Phil’s prediction, but for the optimists out there, today’s weather would suggest that perhaps there’s been a fluke. See for yourself and join your squinting classmates on Low Steps as they wander outside into the sun for the first time since October.

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13 Comments

  • Yay winter! says:

    @Yay winter! Snow please.

  • yum says:

    @yum look, that groundhog look like it’s getting ready to be anally raped by an electric probe and skinned alive so it’s fur can be used for our coat hood trims!! hooray!

  • Nobler says:

    @Nobler If Hawkmadinejad saw its shadow we’d all be done for.

  • Wait... says:

    @Wait... You already posted this yesterday… nooooo

  • Not spring yet says:

    @Not spring yet There’s supposed to be a huge storm tomorrow. Don’t plan on going outside. Great news for those of us who love winter!!

  • awkward says:

    @awkward I seriously doubt Phil really enjoys being held like that. However, I question the commented who suggested it will be anally raped and skinned. That’s just not right.

  • fuck you says:

    @fuck you groundhog, seriously

    Also do people even wear groundhog fur? I don’t think so….

  • Damnit says:

    @Damnit The Pennsylvania Lottery’s “Gus: The Second Most Famous Groundhog in All of Pennsylvania!” commercials ruined this holiday for me.

    1. Nobler says:

      @Nobler Yes, also Pennsylvania’s Third Most Famous Groundhog: Ray Charles.

  • Yo, says:

    @Yo, I think this Groundhog’s Hypothesis should be tested for empirical validity by regressing past Shadow Sightings to Winter Lengths.

  • damn says:

    @damn that groundhog don’t know what the fuck.

    1. LMFAO says:

      @LMFAO for some reason this made me laugh for ten minutes

  • man says:

    @man that photo looks like the groundhog has a mad tight and extra hairy pussy. just how i like it. yum.

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