Empty shops on Broadway
are like my empty soul. If only I could still crawl into a dessert empanada and close the crust forever.   

Successes of some other school in sports. But resist burning your room full of Columbia sports fan paraphernalia, the messiah will save us from ruin!

And look, I�ve got a new idol for my former A-rod shrine.

Oh and Uncle Sam, you�re the worst therapist ever.