A crop of books are due back at Columbia’s libraries today, and if you don’t give them back or renew them, you pay a quarter a day. That’s a Snickers bar you lose every three days your books sit collecting dust in your room.

Oh, and if you lost what you need to give back, be prepared to shell out at least $100 (or, if you’re lucky, ask Mommy and Daddy to do so).

On the bright side, Columbia’s bizarre obsession with flatscreens has reached its pinnacle: they have so many, they’re giving them away: Columbia Libraries’ 2009 Online Survey, with the promise of “Give us 10 minutes and we’ll give you a flatscreen TV — and a better library!” Sound pretty sweet? All you to have to do to be entered into a drawing for a flatscreen or for one of ten $25 Amazon gift cards is to fill out a survey about library services, collections and spaces. And everyone who enters a lottery wins, right?