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AltSpec: Searching For the Answer

To exams:
Who were you fooling with all of those hours you spent in Butler last week? Not the good people at, apparently — the cheatsheet site reports more traffic from Columbia than any other school. So this is how you were using those WiFi maps.

To global warming: Emitted in Texas, sequestered in Memphis? A new map shows where rocks can store excess carbon dioxide. Watch out, Sprayregen: Columbia’s moving into the storage business, too.

To fat kids: The closer the fast food, the fatter the students. Considering the nearest McDonald’s is about five blocks from campus, Columbia might be in the clear, but just think what obesity rates must be like at Hamburger University

To costly journalism: Attention, bankrupt media outlets! The J-School wants your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning for a paycheck. Provided they submit three clips and a cover letter, of course.

To low attendance: People do actually watch sports at Columbia. Particularly women’s basketball. If you don’t believe us, check out this nifty press release.

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  • yeah says:

    @yeah the hold steady!

    1. Hold Steady! says:

      @Hold Steady! Dear editor, and commenter #1, you guys rock. In a heavy drinking kind of way.

  • Hamburger Uni Athletics says:

    @Hamburger Uni Athletics brb

  • ... says:

    @... hamburger university is no joke.

    i took their two semester “managing expectations and resolving conflicts” course out of the political and management science department. after thorough review, columbia articulated it as a suitable replacement for its two semester contemporary civilization requirement.

  • who says:

    @who who is that hot girl in the picture?

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