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QuickFed: The Overconfidence Issue

Using sex references and bad words: an original spin on poetry, haikus, and The Odyssey

Drugs WILL make the sun come out. 

Of course you can spend no money, look like a fool, and still get girls to do you.

You will never sleep with Snow White. Unless you have a tail.

Hey! Bwog is offended. We are definitely more pretentious than the Varsity Show

But less pretentious than humor of the gilded age.

 

 

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16 Comments

  • woo. says:

    @woo. I agree. I clicked, I read, I laughed. Good job.

  • wtf says:

    @wtf As someone who is not a feddie or affiliated with a feddie, I definitely have to give a big “fuck you” to 95%. Sure the Fed may have had a “bad rep” but give congratulations where it is deserved. They have completely turned themselves around in the past couple of years. They’re getting funnier each issue (though I liked Feb’s issue better than this one, sorry guys) and people are actually enjoying them. I see people reading the Fed in Furnald lounge all the time (or at least for a few days around when it comes out).

    Cut the guys some slack. They’re doing excellently. Hats off to you gentlemen (and women).

  • Alas says:

    @Alas The only two JTS/CUMB people were studying Talmud when the above was written.

  • secretadmirer says:

    @secretadmirer Oh Jon Jager, I love you.

    1. 11 again says:

      @11 again Me too, but I’m not him.

  • Bandie says:

    @Bandie Awkwardly sexually active is pretty accurate.

    But I guess that applies to everyone at this school.

    Lay off the Fed kids about the racist thing. You and I were in high school during that controversy, and everyone who was involved with the Fed in 2004 has either graduated or died by now. It’s tough enough being a horny JTS kid without unwarranted accusations of racism.

  • 49% says:

    @49% of people voted for George Bush in 2000.

  • hah! says:

    @hah! I don’t usually laugh when I read satire, but I thought this was pretty damn funny. Bravo Fed.

  • 95% says:

    @95% of this campus thinks that the fed sucks.

    the other 5% works for the fed/ is affiliated with a member of its staff.

    i’m a senior, and i know that the fed’s always had a bad rep. Not only has it garnered a reputation for being racist (and rightly so), but it’s pretentious and chock full of terrible writing. Perhaps most importantly, it is also NOT FUNNY. Read the jester or blue and white for true entertainment.

    1. i'll bite says:

      @i'll bite I think “pretentious” describes *every* single publication on campus.

      And 5% of 7418 undergraduates is 370 (rounded down, of course). Which is a pretty impressive number.

      Stats at http://www.columbia.edu/cu/opir/abstract/enrollment%20headcount%20by%20school%2097-08.htm

      1. also says:

        @also forgot about the barnard count. But you get my point anyway.

  • you're probably a jerk says:

    @you're probably a jerk cause I read through the paper and I laughed out loud a number of times.
    That’s a success for a comedy paper, in my book.

    1. yes says:

      @yes bravo sir/madam! laughter = success in the comedy world.

    2. sorry says:

      @sorry you’re right i was being kind of a jerk – i could have articulated my discontent better

      when i’m done with this horrible week i will try to list some constructive criticism

  • holy crap says:

    @holy crap that wasn’t even kind of funny.

    Like really really not funny

    1. hey says:

      @hey can you be more specific with your criticism? inaccurate description of the gilded age? offensive content in regards to the marching band?

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