OK, Now We’re Getting Really Desperate

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Can’t find love at Columbia? Really? That’s weird. There must be something wrong with you.

We kid, we kid! No one can find love at the Columbia. That’s the point, right? We all commiserate about the Core, we all commiserate about not getting any. That is, of course, until today.  The answer to all your problems can be found at LoveatCU, a brand-new dating site that promises to “revolutionize” the Columbia dating scene. The site’s background is of couples’ feet intertwined, lovers walking through European-looking cobblestone streets, and other affectionate stuff like that. Its slogan reads: “Each of us, then, is a ‘matching half’ of a human whole, because each was sliced like a flatfish”, a quote from every hopeless romantic’s favorite Lit Hum book: Plato’s Symposium.

In order to jump right into the world of Love at CU, simply register with your Columbia or Barnard email address and enter the UNI’s of your <3 crushez <3. Your crush will then find out that someone (someone!) has a crush on them, and they’ll sign up and enter their crushes, but you two probably won’t have crushes on each other, and you’ll be back where you started from. Love at CU has also employed the use of the rather cruel “abandon” and “reject” features, in which you can do exactly what those two terms imply to those on whom you crush and those who crush on you.

The site also offers a dating advice blog and a “most liked” feature, through which, if anyone actually signs up for this, you’ll be able to see the ten most liked people at Columbia. Thanks Love at CU, Bwog misses being 12 also.

Photo via loveatcu.com

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  1. Surfin' UWS  

    How is this a dating site exactly?

    You're not meeting anyone new; its a highschooly way of confirming established crush through anonyma and "xoxo"s.

    I see this resulting in obsessive email checking and "crush list" editing rather than an actual date, let alone relationship.

    Wouldn't a normal dating site or networking activity be more....yknow, efficient?


    I'll stick to chronic masturbation. More efficient.

  2. uhhh  

    that's kind of sad...

  3. oh dear  

    oh eliza shapiro, how i love thee.

  4. Fishy  

    Couldn't they have picked a quote that didn't have the word 'flatfish' in it?

  5. i dare anyone  

    I dare anyone to like their CC professor

  6. its not  

    letting me sign up :( it says my name can only be letters. but im typing only letters. shenanigans.

  7. Poetry at work  

    Nothing makes you want to open your heart to a deeper connection than being compared to 'flatfish'.

  8. Dominique  

    Oh, leave 'em be. This looks adorable. "We are a bunch of Columbia students who realized that the world can always use more love." Awww.

  9. sighh  

    sighhh if i only didn't have a girlfriend

  10. actually  

    dating around here (as anywhere) is not that hard if you make an effort and are remotely likable.

  11. omg  

    omg this website is amazing

  12. '09er  

    The men most liked list made me gag and shudder. Shudder and gag. Thanks, internet.

  13. This is  

    going to turn into people signing up and filling in the names of people who they suspect having crushes on them, finding out, and being awkward.

    • not true  

      not true because she just agreed to go on a date with me :) im in heaven

      • PLEASE  

        That's not even remotely true. Name names or bust. This has bs attempt at promotion from [email protected] tips all over it.

        • hey  

          why so serious? stop being so cynical just cause i got a blowjob doesn't mean you wont get one...someday

          • hmm  

            You..contacted her through the website (opened today), scheduled a date for tomorrow and got a blowjob today?

            Either you're just a terrible liar or she's a raging whore.

            I wish my crush was such an easy ride.

          • idiot  

            you retard im not the op i just hate pessimists like you just cause you dont get any action doesn't mean we do loser

          • #36...  

            ...is in love with syntax. met on loveatcu!!!

          • LOL  

            "I insult you and therefore feel better about myself!"

            Haha, puberty really was a wash in terms of maturity for some of us, wasn't it?

            (If you're not the OP then wait...post #33....you got "a" blowjob? That's your claim to sexual health? THAT'S the thing you try to throw in people's face? That in your existence, you got A bj? HAHAHAHA.....They should make a porno out of your life)

  14. i found love at columbia  

    just look around you! look at the smiles on everyone's faces in john jay lounge this week! love love love everywhere! i fell in love with my room for next year

  15. hey hey  

    Post the "most liked" so I can see them without having to sign up! come on dude

    • why don't you just  

      sign up? i did, just to see them. so no, don't post the "most liked" so the loser above me has to sign up. you are not too cool to enter your uni and make up a password!

    • why do you care?  

      if it was you, you'd know. you'd have gotten an email telling you that some lovely individual selected you from their hordes of options at columbia as one of their top three bangs.

  16. Male Alum

    I'm telling you, go Barnard. CC girls are generally stuck up and SEAS girls... just no.

    Barnard ladies put out more often and are a hell of a lot better at it.

  17. ugh  

    you dudes need to stop throwing out words like whore and slut and easy. You are just as easy and sometimes, ladies just want to get laid too. Why's that bad?

    • it's bad  

      because it's only 'sometimes'

      • sooooo  

        you're saying it's bad for "some" girls to want to get laid? but not bad for guys to want to get laid? Wowza. Everyone wants to get laid, and if they don't, it's because of social rules that humans have adopted for morality's sake. Sex drives are in everyone. You should take a biology or evolution class or something.

        • haha no...  

          i was saying i wish they wanted to get laid all the time, and the negative connotations of 'slut' 'whore' and 'easy' would be part of the so-called 'utah dialect'

          • ohhh ok  

            now I take that back. to you specifically. But I think the original poster of the easy comment must have been a dude, and unfortunately, there are dudes that think that.

            It is too bad that only some girls want to get laid. But it's also too bad that some guys think that girls also want more than getting laid...often leaving girls who want to get laid less able to do so because guys have weird egos and expectations about females.

          • yes but...  

            guys get labeled 'creep' if they confidently (and in a spirit of equality) suggest 'just sex' anyplace other than a drunken party. girls who just want to get laid, on the other hand, can basically get what they want any time just by smiling.

          • hmm  

            i wish it were that easy.

    • Ms. Norbury  

      Ok, so we're all here 'cause of this book, right? Well, I don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores. Who here has ever been called a slut?

  18. wow  

    this has to be the cutest website ever :)

  19. yeah  

    everyone who says they hooked up on this site, just shut up...its been up for like what, 2 days now. Just cause you made the site and have been on a few different computers with different ip addresses doesn't' make you a different person, it just makes you a liar cause the site hasn't actually done anything yet and without even making a prediction, never will unless the business model changes to something much more appealing to the general body and more sensible that one could actually find someone to date on it.

  20. yeah  

    Obviously those names are used more by other girls, because if a reasonably girl walked up to me and was like "hey, wanna have sex right now?" my first thought would be "awesome," not "slut" or "whore."

  21. #48  

    reasonably attractive is what I meant to say

  22. and how exactly  

    would we know if this is some sort of trick? Just putting it out there...

  23. okay  

    this site is a hilarious way to prank people.

  24. Did anyone else  

    find it odd that you get your crush's SSN in addition to his or UNI?

  25. JESUS  

    guys, track comment #42. it's the same person trying to promote this site by creating multiple characters. how lame!!

    7:15pm - LOLs
    7:33pm - dares someone to like their professor
    8:13pm - has a girlfriend, laments
    8:26pm - points out lack of couples
    8:34pm - is a guy named "jeanne"
    8:46pm - found a date on loveatcu? cheating on his girlfriend?
    8:59pm - brags about his blowjob
    9:09pm - calls someone a retard, says he's not the op
    9:36pm - says it's the cutest website ever... just rediscovered it?

    i hate this site already because of its lame ploy for visibility.

  26. ...  

    this idea is like... ten years old.

  27. does anyone  

    think the website looks like lov eat cu at first glance?

  28. yeah  

    seriously someone post the most liked

  29. HERE.  

    Top Ten Most Liked


    Michael Samuels ([email protected])
    Jon Eisen ([email protected])
    Mark Heil ([email protected])
    Ian Vo ([email protected])
    Paul Wallace ([email protected])
    Ron Gejman ([email protected])
    Eddy Zaia ([email protected])
    Scott St. Marie ([email protected])
    Benjamin Landy ([email protected])
    Anthony Potter ([email protected])


    Samantha John ([email protected])
    Arianna Sanders ([email protected])
    Laura Gabriele ([email protected])
    Sasha Fulton ([email protected])
    Kate redburn ([email protected])
    Cynthia Koo ([email protected])
    Rishika Samant ([email protected])
    Mailing Wu ([email protected])
    Sara Arias ([email protected])
    Valeriya Safronova ([email protected])

  30. Keropi  

    Who cares about a CU version of a dating site? I wanna see a CU version of AdultFriendFinder!

  31. CRAZY  

    It's crazy to think that people have this idea that the dating scene is absent on campus. Seriously, the only reason people go on and on about this is because 1) they are too scared/socially inept to do something about it 2) keep the idea going by either not being interested in dating, or just not "taking action".

    It's not that hard people. seriously. I have a feeling many universities have just as many "losers" that aren't good with relationships, but that doesn't mean we all need to keep complaining.

    If you are complaining, shut up, it's your fault.

    If you're bragging, shut up, and go pay attention to your significant other. If you're bragging bc you got a bj, shut up, you're a fucking loser too.

    • actually (#18)  

      thank you! i love how as soon as i said this, it was immediately assumed that 1) i am in a relationship; 2) i am bragging; 3) i am picking on single people; 4) i am a despotic dictator - none of which are true!

      i have no sympathy for unhappy singles. it's your own fault. stop complaining and start doing something about it. give it some effort, give it some time, and make yourself likable and you will get a date.

  32. i think  

    computer nerds are sexxxay.

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