Graduating this month? The new Fed‘s got great advice to help you through your transition over the next few weeks. You won’t find the inside scoop on graduating from college anywhere else!

Do not, by any means, let the stress of graduating affect your vigilance in the War on Hipsters. If we don’t stop them, they’ll be starting their own country any day now.

It’s probably a good idea to have sex in some outrageous place on campus before you leave. Once you’re just a creepy grad hanging around, it gets a lot harder.

If you’re about to graduate with an Urban Studies major, well, don’t do that.

Academic jargon doesn’t fly in the real world. Familiarize yourself with the hip lingo before you leave Morningside and make an ass of yourself.

If you haven’t had the nightmare about bagging groceries for the rest of your life yet, you should get on that. 

You should also probably start mentally adjusting to your shitty new job as soon as possible. Seek counseling in advance. Meth always helps, too.