Many undergrads will never have set foot in that peak of professor perks, the Faculty House. Under construction for the past year, the old space harbored cracked marble and un-airconditioned, dusty faux-Italian decor and no AC. But the new house is a sight to behold. Even if you don’t share our fascination with places you’re not allowed to go (and also haven’t been wondering how the university has been spending all its money lately) you’ve gotta see this place. 

Bwog’s Stealth and Rockclimbing Team came in under cover of darkness, scaled the wall of Wien, occasionally jumping the crevice to East Campus to escape detection. It was from there that a tightrope to the 4th floor Skyline Balcony was rigged, and once stationed on the precipice we knew what we had come for: PrezBo’s coveted view…

Pictures and more after the jump.

Before descending the marble staircase (complete with original marble and ironwork) Bwog nicked a 1956 Burgundy and a morsel of roast duck from Skyline level Faculty House Dining Room, which seems much happier here than in its temporary 08-09 home in the Lerner Party space.

On the third and second floors we found meeting spaces of various sizes, lots of hidden entrances and exits for quick covert escapes, (no, really, apparently they’re called “moveable walls”) and the Marketplace Cafe. Though Bwog thought Ferris, 2.0 while passing the Marketplace, there is no comparison to be made with the Ivy League Lounge on the first floor.

Way too sleek, sophisticated, and empty-hotel-lobby-esque for any undergrad, it was suddenly clear what single professors over 35 do with their Friday nights. Too burdened by the discovery of that immense and well-guarded secret, Bwog donned a pantsuit and specs and strutted out the front door into the sunset.

Lots more sweeping generalizations about the new Faculty House, as well as pictures of gourmet food, can be found at its website. 

– ESN