Oct

2

Free Caffeine: The Taste of Starbucks, Minus the Cute Barista

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Feeling sleepy and stingy at the same time?  Need we even ask?

Starbucks, mother of all things bohemian, is offering a free tall coffee to anyone daring enough to take the VIA Taste Challenge in participating branches through this coming Monday.  As the latest promotion for its newly released instant coffee, VIA Ready Brew, the challenge is meant to prove that instant coffee can, in fact, taste just like drip coffee if you hold your nose tightly enough while drinking it.

Senior caffeine addict Jonathan Hill, who took the taste test earlier today, claims that “VIA tastes dramatically better than that noxious powder in the orange-lidded jars,” referring to the competitor brand Sanka.  However, “VIA is still instant coffee.  I would liken it to the innovation that Coke Zero brought to sugar-free sodas—it’s not a dead-ringer for the real thing, but it’s refreshingly close.”

Coming Soon: Make your morning even more enjoyable with Instant Kahlua.

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12 Comments

  1. Starbucks Coffee  

    Indiscernible from instant coffee since 1971

  2. uhhhh

    Hot Baristas? Which starbucks are you going to??? Most of the Columbia starbucks baristas are....shall we say......urban looking

  3. ...  

    starbucks drip coffee. it can go next to my box of organic valley 100% hormone free powdered milk.

  4. Harmony Hunter  

    Starbucks is on like 111th street right? is this close to Harmony?

  5. Bwog  

    I just want to voice how much I hate that external links on your site (in posts, in comments, everywhere!) do not open in new tabs. Not only is it frustrating for me, it is stupid for you. You lose readers when you let the external link open in the same window. If you make it go to a new tab, you keep the reader. Simple. (Please see God-of-keeping-viewers-on-its-site Facebook for an excellent example of what you should be doing.

  6. Anonymous  

    I used to work at Starbucks and we tried VIA six months ago in a blind taste test with regular drip and the two are totally indiscernible. Not sure if VIA is worth $10 a box post-partner discount, but it's a good product.

  7. Sooo...  

    did you two eventually hook up last night?

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