Living in Wien is hard enough: the isolation, the rust, the stigma! Now, the CU Secret Police are threatening to storm the Dorm that Time Forgot–that is, enter every Wien room–to determine where some missing lounge furniture has ended up.

Bwog has heard whispers of the drama, and has just intercepted an email sent from the Associate Director of Residential Programs outlining the furniture heist. At least 6 chairs have gone missing from the 2nd floor computer lab, as well as 2 sofa cushions from the 2nd floor kitchen. Worse still, 6 wooden chairs have disappeared from a kitchen table on the 2nd floor. Unless these items are returned by 9 AM next Thursday the 28th, a terrifying-sounding troupe of Res Program, Housing and Maintenance staff will open every door in Wien between 9 AM and 5 PM. Seriously. Read the full email after the jump.

Dear Wien Residents:

Greetings to those of you returning to Wien, and for any of you who are new to the Wien community, welcome!  It was good to see so many of you at floor meetings this past Tuesday evening.

I am writing with an important and critical update for all Wien residents.  A number of pieces of furniture have gone missing from both the 2nd floor computer lab and the 2nd floor kitchen.  Specifically, 6 chairs from the computer lab, 2 sofa cushions from the kitchen, and 6 wooden chairs from around the kitchen table, all have gone missing.

The Office of Residential Programs is committed to providing a residential experience that encourages respect, mutual understanding, and a sense of community.  When individuals in our community remove furniture from our common lounges for private usage, the community is impacted.

The primary goal is to have the furniture returned to the computer lab/kitchen immediately so that our entire community can benefit from the use of these spaces.  If all of the missing lounge furniture is not returned by 9 am on Thursday, January 28, 2010, Residential Programs, Housing, and Facilities staff will enter all residential rooms in Wien between 9 am and 5 pm on that date.  Any piece of “missing” furniture found in a student room will immediately be removed from the room and returned to the computer lab/kitchen.  If residents have the missing furniture in their room, they will be subject to the Dean’s Discipline process.  We hope that we will not have to take this step so I would appreciate everyone’s cooperation in resolving this matter.

I appreciate your consideration of the Wien community.


Kristen Sylvester