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Meal Plan Update: The Battle Rages On

After last Friday’s showdown in the Vag’s Ovum Oval, the Barnard Administration has come up with a Plan to solve all Plans – one that is unlikely to deteriorate into another chaotic war over microphones. The admins have turned to bureaucracy’s all time favorite problem-solving strategy: it’s time to form a committee! The Meal Plan working group will consist of six elected student representatives, and six at-large members.

Photo by Google Images

Read Dean Denburg’s full email after the jump.

Dear Students,

Over the past few weeks, President Spar, Vice President Brown, and I
have received helpful input from many students concerning the College’s meal
plan for next year.  Thanks to those of you who participated in the meal
plan discussion last Thursday night, and to those of you who have sent ideas
through other channels. With your help, we hope to have a final plan in
place by late March, in time for room selection.

To that end, we will be convening a working group of twelve students who
will meet with Vice President Brown and myself over the course of the next
month. The group, which will be comprised equally of students from the
first-year, sophomore, and junior classes, will meet three times to review
various options and discuss how best to serve the needs of our diverse

Six of the twelve students will be elected representatives of the student
body, and the additional six will be at-large members. If you are interested
in serving as one of the at-large members, please email me by Monday,
February 15.  In the event that we have more than six people interested in
serving, we will fill the positions by lottery from among the group of

Please do not volunteer unless you are committed to attending all three
meetings, the timing of which we will determine with student schedules in

I look forward to working together.

Dorothy Denburg

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  • Translation says:

    @Translation “received helpful input” = received angry emails from pissed off students and the occasional positive emails from SGA sycophants

    “we hope to have a final plan in place by late March” = we will announce the same exact plan in May

    “convening a working group” = creating a powerless organ that has no influence or power regarding administrative or financial decisions

    “meet with Vice President Brown and myself” = don’t dare upset us or you’ll face the wrath of the pantsuit

    “serve the needs of our diverse community” = remember, we originally wanted to bring people, and anyone who disagrees with us is a terrorist

    “Six of the twelve students will be elected representatives of the student body” = we’ve stacked the deck against you

    “we will fill the positions by lottery” = we will not pick the most vocal opponents

    “the timing of which we will determine with student schedules in
    mind.” = we reserve the right reschedule those meetings at later inconvenient times

    “I look forward to working together.” = I look forward to getting this dog and pony show over with

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous like

    2. ditto says:

      @ditto brilliant translation. nicely done.

    3. !!! says:

      @!!! double like

    4. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Triple like! Also, “the Ovum” = amazing.

    5. Exactly! says:

      @Exactly! Now -this- is reading comprehension.

  • yo says:

    @yo this is pretty lame — i think it’s fairly clear what the student body wants: flexibility and freedom

  • Wait Wait Wait says:

    @Wait Wait Wait So, since Barnard is a women’s college, and women have vaginas and ovaries, you are playing on words that look like female reproductive organs?! Wow, you guys are so brilliant.

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